And a copy of Razzle please

[rjw63]

6 hours ago, Seat68 said:

My nan found my porn. Twice. As a kid I lived with her and stashed it once at the back of the immersion, I came home from school to find it on my bed. The second time was under the mattress, again returned from school and this time it ended up in the bin. 

This needs a new thread.

Porn stories from your youth. I have quite a few.

[Seat68]

26 minutes ago, rjw63 said:

This needs a new thread.

Porn stories from your youth. I have quite a few.

I have others. I rarely start threads. I might do this. 

[Seat68]

@rjw63 suggested this might be a thread of its own. 

Tales of adult literature from your youth. 

My nan found my porn. Twice. As a kid I lived with her and stashed it once at the back of the immersion, I came home from school to find it on my bed. The second time was under the mattress, again returned from school and this time it ended up in the bin. 

I started working on holiday camps during the second half of the 80s and during the early 90s whilst away at one a friend borrowed my vinyl copy of Carter USM 101 Damnations. He returned it to me and the inner sleeve was tattered beyond recognition and the album scratched. He later professed thats where he had stashed his copy of razzle. 
 

I once went to the news agent to genuinely buy a news of the world for my nan. Some word removed had slipped a copy of big and busty and over 40 between the pages. Not only was it pointed out at the counter but also accused of stealing it. That was hilarious. 

[Seat68]

Same friend who damaged my Carter album asked me to look after his stash, I agreed as this was before my nan had found my own stash and before the Carter incident. I was expecting a well thumbed copy of Mayfair, no, it was a Puma holdall full of hardcore A5 magazines. He was panicing as his bedroom was going to be redecorated. I said no. Get to ****. I cant hold on to that much. Anyway his mother found the holdall and the dog that he is said I am holding them for Peter. So I turn up at his door a few days later and I get a holdall full of bloody Colour Climax shoved into my hand by his very straight laced mother. 

[VILLAMARV]

Nearly there keep going 

[rjw63]

My dad used to be a binman, and one day I discovered a huge box of jazzmags in my parents wardrobe.

When they went shopping I got the lot out and there were at least a dozen duplicates, so I had them and hid them in my room.

I flogged one to a kid at school for 50p. The day I took it in and handed it over, we were all ordered into the sports hall because some nob had knicked a hammer from woodwork. My pal was trying to throw the book back at me but I wasn't having it.

Anyway, I suggested rolling it up and putting it in the sleeve of his coat while the teachers searched our bags for the hammer.

It worked, but he didn't buy anymore porno from me.

[rjw63]

My parents eventually found that stash of porn, but allowed me to keep three or four.

Good parenting

[rjw63]

One day four of us cycled from Chelmsley to Sutton, via the collector road. As we cycled I spotted a copy of Men Only in the roadway.

Of course I grabbed it, and it gave us hours of amusement later as we hid it in the woods near home for future reference

[rjw63]

In the late 70's I once wrote a letter to Club International.

Some time after I had a letter from them telling me my letter would be in the next issue.

naturally I had to destroy the correspondence, so I forgot which issue I was in, and to this day still don't know. I was 15.

[choffer]

I had little exposure to such things as a kid but that Kays catalogue always seemed to fall open at the same page.

[VILLAMARV]

I found a load of porn in a bin once next to an A road in backwater mid wales. Not the new style bins but the wooden slats open top type of auld. And it was in a layby big enough to handle a truck or 2 overnight. naughty neighbours mostly, the only copy of knave I ever saw and a load of 40 plus. Naturally I assumed some truck driver had for whatever reason dumped his stash. Anyway a few days later my mate was telling me how his new gf had moved in, found his stash and driven them up the lane to the main road and chucked them away, but he had gone back later to recover them and was dismayed to have found them gone.

He got them back off me but only after admitting he was really into 40 plus (we were still in our youth back then)

The funny thing was, we all already knew about his penchant for the older woman because the lady who worked in the newsagents told us years before one night during a lock in at the local pub I worked in at the time.

Small towns eh. A bit like 'cheers' only one where everyone knows your name and wanking habits.

[rjw63]

Me and a school buddy used to get the bus into Brum, and head for the indoor market.

Right in the corner there was a guy selling second hand clunge mags.

Seriously used to peruse for the best stuff for ages, he must have thought we'd never **** off.

[rjw63]

1 minute ago, VILLAMARV said:

the only copy of knave I ever saw 

Posters of a certain age will look back fondly on Patricia Rose, monthly columnist and rare (for those days) depilator.

[tonyh29]

When I was a kid , the local  woods near me had hiding places where someone would stash a jazz mag , ... was like a game , find the mag and then hide it in your own spot , only to return a couple of days later and find it had moved 

been going there during lockdown as part of our exercise walk with the kids , they probably wonder what I’m looking for when I have a quick peek at random spots !!

[VILLAMARV]

The first time I ever saw a page from a 'rhythm magazine' really was found in the graveyard next to our school and passed around the playground at break time. One of those surely an urban legend/ joke things that the kids wouldn't believe but I doubt I'm not the only one with a similar tale. 

[choffer]

There was a kid in my class who lived just around the corner and his dad used to give me and him a lift to school every morning. The kid was a bit of a bell but his dad was sound and always used to stop at a shop on the way and buy a pack of Trebor mints, break it in half and give us each one of the halves. It used to drive this kid nuts as he didn’t see why his dad was giving me the same as him. As I said, he was a nobber. 

One day a page from a German specialist interest magazine was doing the rounds of our class. The first such thing I’d ever encountered (at the age of 14 would you believe?) and I securely stored the memory of the image in my brain for later that evening. I can still picture it even now. Big hairy growler on some ancient (probably 30 year old) German hausfrau. 

As we were leaving school that afternoon, the page appeared again within the group I was walking with and a debate ensued over who was going to take it home. Nobody wanted to be left holding the article and somehow it ended up in my hands. Knowing it was not something I wanted in my possession I spied an opportunity a few pecs ahead. The kid with whom I’d spent all those mornings in a brown Maxi had his military issue haversack slung over his shoulder and i deftly snuck it in the top corner of his bag without him noticing.  

I don’t know who the grass was but someone told him it was me. Apparently his mum always used to empty his bag upon his return from school and she was the first to find it. 

I had to take the bus to school from that point on. 

Edited April 24, 2020 by choffer
Appreciate that this story makes me sound like a bigger nob head than he was.

[sidcow]

5 hours ago, tonyh29 said:

When I was a kid , the local  woods near me had hiding places where someone would stash a jazz mag , ... was like a game , find the mag and then hide it in your own spot , only to return a couple of days later and find it had moved 

been going there during lockdown as part of our exercise walk with the kids , they probably wonder what I’m looking for when I have a quick peek at random spots !!

Yes, pretty much every kid in our neighbourhood knew which parts of the park to go to to find the porn. Usually where older teenage couples went for a crafty shag. 

[VILLAMARV]

Back in my school days one of the lads dad's had a video collection kept locked up in a drawer behind their telly. He would bring one to school and we'd all bunk off and head up someone's house to watch them or he'd lend them out to people. One day he inevitably got caught handing a video over to this lad by one of the science teachers. It only had the spine sticker on it and hand written it said 'caught from behind 2' no other stickers and a plain black hard case with nothing on it apart from a panini football sticker on the front. Can't remember who but I can remember it was a Costa Rica player from Italia 90. To this day i can remember him trying to convince them it was a football compilation video of best ever tackles

The science teacher did a whole lesson with it sat on his desk and my mate had to wait after class. The teacher then gathered the 2 other science teachers round the tv in one of the classrooms and watched some of it during break before they shopped him in to the headmaster. 

His dad found out and that was the end of us nicking his stash. Still the most porn I've ever seen in one place that wasn't a porn shop. 

[rjw63]

Had a big pile of fanny mags under the bed in the late 80's and I'd just gone on a first date (with what turned out to be wife number 1).

So I bagged the mags and as I had to go to the tip, offered them to the guy on the barrier. Of course he accepted.

A few days later my future wife found one totty book under my bed that I must have missed, and asked if there were more as she wasn't offended.

[welnik]

I grew up in Coleshill. We used to go walking up the M42 towards Chembo (cos the girls were always easy!). At that time it was unfinished, and used to stop at a bridge opposite Coleshill Hall hospital. There was always a couple of jazzers hidden under the bridge , the one that took the road to Bacons End. They were tucked away in the space at the top of the incline. If i'm ever going that way, I always have a quick glance...........

Ah, memories