usvilla Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 i just picked up a premier league compilation CD - its got it all , motown,jazz,rock,hip hop but no blues !!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 Paddy told his wife he kept getting a burning sensation in his anus and didn't know what it was. "Ring sting?" she asked. "What the **** will he know?" replies Paddy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 I bought the wife a memory stick, it's great! She hasn't forgotten my beer, dinner or sex once since the first beating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand-dune. "One Marine is better than ten Taliban". The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence. The voice then calls out "One Marine is better than one hundred Taliban". Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence. The voice calls out again "One Marine is better than one thousand Taliban". The enraged Taliban Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them across the dune. Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence. Eventually one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men, it's a trap. There's two of them". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
largelugs Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 Ji Sung Park was the first person to give the game away.....He's been calling him Lyin Giggs all season Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
parisvilla Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 Love the Giggs joke above What do you call a deer with no eyes? - No idea. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? - Still no idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrinityRoadSteps Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 I can't believe that Ryan Giggs missed training in the week of the Champions League final. It's almost like he doesn't understand the meaning of commitment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danwichmann Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 After the divorce Ryan Giggs has given half his possessions to his wife. She now has 6 more Premier League winner medals the Steven Gerrard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dante_Lockhart Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 Paddy told his wife he kept getting a burning sensation in his anus and didn't know what it was. "Ring sting?" she asked. "What the **** will he know?" replies Paddy bindunne.jpeg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drat01 Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 My mate asked me if I've ever **** my wife in 'the other hole'. Of course not! I don't want her to get pregnant! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted May 27, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted May 27, 2011 Bjorn Ulvaeus walked into a bar. He didn't audition, or anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted May 27, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted May 27, 2011 Q: Who waves a blue and white scarf and sings with Miami Sound Machine? A: Gloria Leicesterfan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted May 27, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted May 27, 2011 Last night Huddersfield police station was broken in to and all the SatNavs were stolen. A taskforce has been set up and is looking for Leeds. Women can do a much better Black Country accent than men. Because the female of the species is more Dudley than the male. My new neighbour is half-American and half-Iraqi. He's his own worst enemy I used to do a bad impression of Eric Morecambe, but now I've seen the error of my waheys. Didn't help myself in court yesterday. I was arrested for child porn charges and the Judge said, "How does 5-6 years sound?" I said, "Sexy." Q: What's big, black and steals your credit cards? A: Sony Playstation 3. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted May 27, 2011 Moderator Share Posted May 27, 2011 My mate asked me if I've ever **** my wife in 'the other hole'. Of course not! I don't want her to get pregnant!Ah yes, the 'family' hole and the 'practice' hole Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Designer1 Posted May 27, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted May 27, 2011 My grandparents real names were Nanny Pearl and Grandpa Dean but we just called them Grandma and Grandpapapapapapapapapapa... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 I shouldn't have found that as funny as I did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted May 27, 2011 Moderator Share Posted May 27, 2011 I don't get it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted May 27, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted May 27, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Designer1 Posted May 27, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted May 27, 2011 I shouldn't have found that as funny as I did. Those were my thoughts exactly when I got the text earlier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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