theunderstudy Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 I went into the library and asked for a book on cliffhangers. So the librarian says: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted April 7, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted April 7, 2011 I cut the bottom off one of my trouser legs once and threw it into a library. That was a turnup for the books. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 Ever tried Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted April 7, 2011 Moderator Share Posted April 7, 2011 Ever tried Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they. Like plumpy'nut? Deelicious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC-Prideofbrum Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 **** sake, you yourself did that one about a week ago! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 A piece of string walks into à bar and orders a drink. The barman says "Oh no you don't, you were in here causing trouble last week. Out." So the string walks out. 10 minutes later he walks back in with a moustache and an overcoat. The barman says "do you think I'm blind? You're that same piece of string as before. Get out" so the string turns around and exits. Outside, the string bend himself in and out until he looks really different. Then he rubs his head vigorously on a lampost until he's roughened himself up a fair bit. He then waits another 15 minutes and reenters the bar and orders a beer. The barman looks suspiciously at him says "aren't you that same piece of string from earlier?" The string shakes his head. "No mate" he replies. "I'm a frayed knot." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 "Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Boo" "I do not know anyone called boo, nor am I called boo. And if it an attempt to surprise me it has failed. Either way I see no reason to open the door. Good day." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 What did one lesbian vampire ask the other? "Same time next month?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danwichmann Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 What did one lesbian vampire ask the other? "Same time next month?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 What's black and blue and gets raped at home? Inter Milan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NibblyPig Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 A kidnapper saw the headline in today's newspaper and thought to himself: "Hmm, I must make a note of that." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 What's black and blue and gets raped at home? Inter Milan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClaretMahoney Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 Two blokes sitting in a pub. The first guy says "you know what, I could have sex with any woman in here". The second guy says "Oh yeah, how's that then?" The first guy says "Because I'm a rapist." BEST EVER. Even the female co worker next to me laughed her ass off!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 Eye thankyew ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 Watched a program yesterday, "Scousers do the funniest things" or as the BBC insisted on calling it, "Crimewatch". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 F(x) walks into a bar. The barman says "sorry mate, we don't cater for functions." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC-Prideofbrum Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 I thought the string one was bad.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted April 8, 2011 Share Posted April 8, 2011 You're doing a lot of hatin' and not a lot of jokin'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted April 8, 2011 Share Posted April 8, 2011 Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One looks ashamed. His friend asks him whats wrong. He says 'I cant believe I blew 50 bucks in there' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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