rjw63 Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 In an argument with my girlfriend yesterday she shouted at me "Stop making jokes about rape! How do you think the women feel?" "Depends on the girth" was probably not the best response. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Rev Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 ***Breaking transfer news*** Celtic have swooped to sign Ashley Young, Robbie Keane, and Darren Bent. Peter Lawell commented "This is the Celtic way, a forward line that's Young, Keane and Bent." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RJA1703 Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 New Miley Cyrus DVD: £15 Tub of Vaseline: £3 XL Box of Tissues: £2 The look of disgust on the cashiers face as you pay: Priceless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RJA1703 Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 If a woman says something, and there isn't a man around to hear her, is she still wrong? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabby15 Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Is there anything which is REALLY off limits which will get me banned again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted June 19, 2009 Moderator Share Posted June 19, 2009 Plenty Gabby, plenty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabby15 Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Plenty Gabby, plenty Best to avoid them then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted June 19, 2009 Moderator Share Posted June 19, 2009 Probably. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClaretMahoney Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Explosion at a pie factory in Huddersfield. 3.14159265 dead. And counting! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 A man is walking down a street and as he passes a restaurant notices a sign outside saying 'Test our chef! He can cook anything you want no matter how outrageous!' So in he goes and says to the waiter, "I would like a large plate of steaming shit." "We can't do that." replies the waiter. "Your sign outside says you can do anything," replies the man. So the waiter trots off to speak to the chef. The chef says, "Well, if that's what he wants and we can't really argue with the exact wording of the sign, so let's give it him." So they both drop their trousers and fill up a plate full. The waiter picks up the plate and takes it out to the man. A few minutes later the waiter comes back covered from head to toe in crap. The chef asks, "What's the matter? Didn't he like it?" The waiter says, "He said there was a hair in it..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 A little girl came running into the house bawling her eyes out and cradling her hand. "Mummy, quick! Get me a glass of cider!" she wailed. "Why do you want a glass of cider?" asked her mum. "I cut my hand on a thorn, and I want the pain to go away!" Confused, but weary of the child's whining, the mother obliged and poured her a glass of cider. The little girl immediately dunked her hand in it. "Ouch! It still hurts! This cider doesn't work!" she whined. "What are you talking about?" asked her increasingly perplexed parent. "What made you think that cider would ease your pain?" "Well, I overheard my big sister say that whenever she gets a prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villahero Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Alex Ferguson ? Fergie will be playing Giggs in August ( hey, had to get in 1st didn't i ? ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gingerlad Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 On the way to hospital its reported the Jackson whispered to the paramedics..."put me on the childrens ward".. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gingerlad Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 BREAKING NEWS! MJ did not die of a heart attack! He died due to a severe allergic reaction to eating 12 year old nuts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve1986 Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 Apparently rigamortis set in as MJ was being wheeled past the children's ward. What's brown and in your babies nappy...Michael Jacksons hand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gingerlad Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 Apparently they're not having a burial, they're gonna melt him down and make him into small toy figures. So kids can play with him for a change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denaldinho Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 http://www.deadmichaeljacksonjokes.com/ :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gingerlad Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 What's the difference between Farrah Fawacett and Michael Jackson? Little boys used to jerk off to Farrah Fawcett Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wol. Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 Police suspect Jacko was murdered, They found a razor and a bottle of gillette imac, police are on the look out for a smooth criminal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denaldinho Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 and the jokes keep on getting worse.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfLqQZ-gEV8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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