T-Dog Posted May 11 Share Posted May 11 10 hours ago, Brumstopdogs said: I may be wrong, and absolutely all jokes aside, but I'm sure Wolverhampton was one of the highest rates around here? Fair play, football is football, life is everything. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Dodgyknees Posted June 1 Popular Post Share Posted June 1 My ex has put me through hell and has basically destroyed my life, used the police and more to attack me. Genuinely came close to ending my life in December. I hope it's ok to share this, it's some of what she has done. 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubbs Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 Mrs D and I are going on our 1st holiday together in all the 15 years we've been together. Our eldest daughter, her husband and his parents are coming too. Why am I not looking forward to it? Feels like I've been railroaded into it since it was discussed about 9 months ago. 10 days in Tenerife and I'm already looking forward to coming home. We've not even left yet. WTF is wrong with me? Haven't felt right for a couple of weeks mentally, so I would have thought something new would have picked me up but I'm actually dreading it at the moment. Was thinking earlier I'd much rather have the 2 weeks off at home and if I felt like going somewhere then I could. Feels like a bit of a cycle, although I'm still waiting for the high points to come around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
numbersix Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 1 hour ago, dubbs said: Mrs D and I are going on our 1st holiday together in all the 15 years we've been together. Our eldest daughter, her husband and his parents are coming too. Why am I not looking forward to it? Feels like I've been railroaded into it since it was discussed about 9 months ago. 10 days in Tenerife and I'm already looking forward to coming home. We've not even left yet. WTF is wrong with me? Haven't felt right for a couple of weeks mentally, so I would have thought something new would have picked me up but I'm actually dreading it at the moment. Was thinking earlier I'd much rather have the 2 weeks off at home and if I felt like going somewhere then I could. Feels like a bit of a cycle, although I'm still waiting for the high points to come around. Holidays can be more stressful than no holidays sometimes. In my experience though, fear of the thing is literally always worse than the thing itself. Everybody’s different but the headspace app is a good start for managing anxiety, know loads who’ve used it - helps bring everything into the present rather than focussing on potentially anxiety-inducing events in the future ( or past trauma). 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MNVillan Posted June 4 Share Posted June 4 9 hours ago, dubbs said: Mrs D and I are going on our 1st holiday together in all the 15 years we've been together. Our eldest daughter, her husband and his parents are coming too. Why am I not looking forward to it? Feels like I've been railroaded into it since it was discussed about 9 months ago. 10 days in Tenerife and I'm already looking forward to coming home. We've not even left yet. WTF is wrong with me? Haven't felt right for a couple of weeks mentally, so I would have thought something new would have picked me up but I'm actually dreading it at the moment. Was thinking earlier I'd much rather have the 2 weeks off at home and if I felt like going somewhere then I could. Feels like a bit of a cycle, although I'm still waiting for the high points to come around. I have experienced plenty of pre-holiday anxiety similar to what you mention. “Should I cancel? Why didn’t I opt to stay home?” In my experience, once on the actual holiday, most of that disappears and I am able to relax and enjoy myself. Hoping the same for you. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 4 Share Posted June 4 15 hours ago, dubbs said: Mrs D and I are going on our 1st holiday together in all the 15 years we've been together. Our eldest daughter, her husband and his parents are coming too. Why am I not looking forward to it? Feels like I've been railroaded into it since it was discussed about 9 months ago. 10 days in Tenerife and I'm already looking forward to coming home. We've not even left yet. WTF is wrong with me? Haven't felt right for a couple of weeks mentally, so I would have thought something new would have picked me up but I'm actually dreading it at the moment. Was thinking earlier I'd much rather have the 2 weeks off at home and if I felt like going somewhere then I could. Feels like a bit of a cycle, although I'm still waiting for the high points to come around. Obvious problem is obvious. I suppose it's too late to back out? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted June 4 VT Supporter Share Posted June 4 1 hour ago, rjw63 said: Obvious problem is obvious. I suppose it's too late to back out? That was my first thought. I'll happily go on holiday with the missus, and/or old friends, but - much as I love my extended family - holidays with them are too much like hard work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
numbersix Posted June 4 Share Posted June 4 1 hour ago, rjw63 said: Obvious problem is obvious. I suppose it's too late to back out? Avoiding things that negatively affect mental health is one strategy, but sometimes what may seem the most obvious problem isn't really the problem (speaking from experience not theory by the way, aware that sounds like psychobabble but true for me) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T-Dog Posted June 4 Share Posted June 4 23 hours ago, dubbs said: Mrs D and I are going on our 1st holiday together in all the 15 years we've been together. Our eldest daughter, her husband and his parents are coming too. Why am I not looking forward to it? Feels like I've been railroaded into it since it was discussed about 9 months ago. 10 days in Tenerife and I'm already looking forward to coming home. We've not even left yet. WTF is wrong with me? Haven't felt right for a couple of weeks mentally, so I would have thought something new would have picked me up but I'm actually dreading it at the moment. Was thinking earlier I'd much rather have the 2 weeks off at home and if I felt like going somewhere then I could. Feels like a bit of a cycle, although I'm still waiting for the high points to come around. There was a very similar post recently from another VTer, it's really common mate, even if it's just you and the wife, it'd feel like a stress. There's a lot of anxiety, a lot out of your control, a lot that you could potentially see as an issue... In the grand scheme of things, none of it will happen, and you'll have a great time, but you're not the only one that feels like this. BTW, not sure if you've ever been but Tenerife is a lovely place, and if you want it to be 'touristy' the options are there, if you want it to be 'authenticy' than the options are there too. Try not to overthink it, if you land and it's all kicking off, get down to one of the beach bars, Fiji Beach Club has a lovely little set up, have a nice cold Dorada and watch the waves for a bit, you'll soon feel right again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubbs Posted June 4 Share Posted June 4 (edited) Thanks to everyone who has replied. It's genuinely helped me out. We've been here since around 1pm and apart from being shattered it's not as bad as I'd thought it might be. I'm trying to not build everything up into some huge problem, just want some time to relax with the missus and try and de-stress just a little bit. Edited June 4 by dubbs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubbs Posted June 4 Share Posted June 4 8 hours ago, mjmooney said: That was my first thought. I'll happily go on holiday with the missus, and/or old friends, but - much as I love my extended family - holidays with them are too much like hard work. It was kind of our daughters idea. It'll be there 1st wedding anniversary soon so it's a celebration for them. Mrs D and I got married in April 23 so it's almost a belated honeymoon for us too trying not to stress about anything here at the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rodders0223 Posted June 4 Share Posted June 4 I kind of get like that with simple day trips. I know it's good for me, I know I will enjoy it, I know I will come home in a better head space and sitting at home will compound my negative head space....yet I don't want to go, I want to sit at home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nor-Cal Villan Posted June 4 Share Posted June 4 On 03/06/2024 at 12:32, dubbs said: Mrs D and I are going on our 1st holiday together in all the 15 years we've been together. Our eldest daughter, her husband and his parents are coming too. Why am I not looking forward to it? Feels like I've been railroaded into it since it was discussed about 9 months ago. 10 days in Tenerife and I'm already looking forward to coming home. We've not even left yet. WTF is wrong with me? Haven't felt right for a couple of weeks mentally, so I would have thought something new would have picked me up but I'm actually dreading it at the moment. Was thinking earlier I'd much rather have the 2 weeks off at home and if I felt like going somewhere then I could. Feels like a bit of a cycle, although I'm still waiting for the high points to come around. You’re not alone 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T-Dog Posted June 4 Share Posted June 4 @dubbs - focus on the good, if you can manage the mid ground, do it, it it's too much, **** off and make some time for yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubbs Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 18 hours ago, T-Dog said: @dubbs - focus on the good, if you can manage the mid ground, do it, it it's too much, **** off and make some time for yourself. Definitely need some time to just go off somewhere with Mrs D and just wind down. Cheers mate it's honestly felt like a struggle but managing it one day at a time so far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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