MrDuck

This time, we move from average breast size to average length of penis....

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and suggest that this map was probably created on a slightly sounder scientific basis than your own personal breast observations over the years

I never liked Roy, until I read his book a few years back. Born winner, honest, takes no crap from anyone, been there and done it all... exactly the sort of person we need at Villa, but so rarely have. No coincidence that the club has turned around since he's arrived I think.

Except for a contract. That's pretty foolish in modern football. Well from what I've heard from someone who has seen him at work first had dealing with contracts he more than knows what he is doing. Pardew might have a long contract but I'm certain Ashley is very comfortable with the situation and more than adequately protected by the contents of the contract. I've heard a few times that Pardew's deal has a clause entitling to know more than 12 months salary if his contract is terminated. Which would of course be kinda sensible.

The guy is loyal, and has scored 79 in 320 for us, playing half the time on the wing. I'm glad he's signed a new deal. He's no Benteke, but if he was then we'd have had to sell him years ago anyway.

Arsenal 2-2 Man City Chelsea 3-1 Swansea Crystal Palace 1-1 Burnley Soton 2-0 Newcastle Stoke 1-0 Leicester Sunderland 1-1 Spurs West Brom 1-1 Everton Liverpool 1-0 Villa Man United 1-0 QPR Hull 2-1 West Ham

Were number 1 in the haloumi business Mmmmmmmmmm, haloumi

I was always under the impression Cahill moved on because MON - rightly - would not guarantee him a start? He went to Bolton, not directly to Chelsea... which is probably a fair indication how highly rated he was at the time.

Just reading about the format for the 2016 Euro Finals. Christ, what a bloated mess it looks... 24 teams, 51 games, 31 days. The last tournament was 16 teams, 31 games, 23 days. 2 years of qualifying to reduce the pool from 53 to 24 teams, then 36 group games to get from 24 teams to 16. I fail to see how this improves the tournament in anyway other than increased TV revenue - although I realise that is of course the primary aim! Nice one Platini. I look forward to 2020, when presumably you'll invite guest teams from other federations and we can expand the tournament to 37 teams of something equally brilliant.

Great, we can now look forward to the inevitable sight of watching Delph follow in the footsteps of Barry, Young, Milner and Downing and leaving us at the first opportunity when the bigger clubs come around waving wads of cash.

Of course he'll win, he'll probably be the only one standing!

I'm not sure if it's the beard trying to liberate itself from the rest of the hair, or Roy's head having a growth spurt and leaving it behind.

Ah, just when I thought my dislike for Liverpool and their fans was mellowing.

I'd have thought that made him ideally qualified.

Burnley 1-1 Man United Man City 2-0 Stoke Newcastle 1-1 Crystal Palace QPR 1-1 Sunderland Swansea 2-0 West Brom West Ham 1-2 Southampton Everton 2-1 Chelsea Villa 0-0 Hull Tottenham 1-2 Liverpool Leicester 0-2 Arsenal

No doubting the guys talent when he's in the mood though. 16mil is brilliant business - I mean, Shane Long just went for 12mil!

Definitely applies to my drummer - every time I see him he's bought a new kit, or at least a new drum/cymbal!

Suarez out for 75mil and Balotelli in for 16mil? I'd say that's pretty good business by Liverpool.

You'll never reach the optimum number of guitars with that sort of attitude.

He is, but I can't see any Premier League or Championship clubs hiring him after this. He's toxic right now for any club to take on. It'd be a PR nightmare. If he wants a decent job, he'll have to disappear for a year or two in the lower leagues. I'd suggest he maybe tries his luck overseas, but perhaps that's not such a good idea....

Wow. I'd say they'd struggle to find work again, but this is football...

Aston Villa 2-0 Newcastle Chelsea 5-1 Leicester Crystal Palace 1-1 West Ham Southampton 2-1 West Brom Swansea 2-0 Burnley Everton 1-1 Arsenal Hull 2-1 Stoke Tottenham 2-1 QPR Sunderland 1-1 Man Utd Man City 3-1 Liverpool