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Paddywhack

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Everything posted by Paddywhack

  1. Some bloke does that at our place. Have I told that story on here before? I think I've told that story on here before. But anyway. Someone, no one knows who, goes in the first floor blokes toilet, and wanks all over the mirror. We call it 'mirror decorating'. Urgh, that's disgusting...imagine wanking over your reflection
  2. Not many things would make me want to smash my laptop against the wall, but I think I'd be close with this.
  3. I haven't really noticed a problem with injuries this year, I probably get less than I have in the previous games. I've just started my 7th season with Shrewsbury, my 2nd attempt at trying to avoid relegation from the prem, failing the first time. I've screwed myself over though with yearly wage rises and promotion wage rises, players that were on about 20-25k in the Championship are on about 40k-55k now. I'm an idiot. It's taken up all my transfer and wage budget, so I've hardly brought anyone in. I think I'm going to struggle again.
  4. He might still be alive I'll prepare the missing person posters
  5. My cousin researched our family tree a few years back. It turns out my great, great, great, great, great grandfather lived in Jiggins Lane in Bartley Green; about a 2 minute drive from where I live. Well traveled, my family. He also burned to death in a brick kiln in Weoley Castle. All they found of him was his boots.
  6. Whelan's for the chop now. Rumour has it he'll bacon tomorrow, unless the papers are full of porkies.
  7. Leaving a pig's head in someone's locker? I never sausage a thing
  8. I can't see them getting relegated, but I think it's even more unlikely they'll be comfortably top half again next season. Although, I don't think you can really predict how they will do next year based on their performances and results of the last few months, they've been one of the very few teams to have nothing to play for a while now. Admittedly it looks like the wheels are falling a bit, I just hope Chelsea don't loan them Lukaku again. I can't pretend not to care about them, I have too many mates that are baggies fans. Two seasons in a row they've finished higher than us, it's pissing me off.
  9. Oh this, this, this. I'm considering wearing a vest under my top and tucking it in just to stop this from happening anymore. How 'bout yiz do some trimmin'? Maybe stop yer paddywhacking and start some weedwhacking Old habits die hard. I've only ever removed hair down there once, ended up having to poke the pubes down the plughole with the handle of my toothbrush before my mum saw. I was young but it's put me off, keep myself natural now.
  10. Oh this, this, this. I'm considering wearing a vest under my top and tucking it in just to stop this from happening anymore.
  11. Delph easily MOTM for me. I haven't been his biggest fan since he came here, but the last few months he's totally proved me wrong. Great player, would love to have seen him score today, he deserves it.
  12. Bastard. Maybe I'll just tell the story at my wedding.
  13. "Geordies must be perpetually confused that "Aldi" is not open 24 hours a day" It took me about a minute to work that one out
  14. A few months ago some teenager starting running next to me for a bit, taking the piss, trying to get a laugh out of his mates, so I shouldered barged him into a fence covered in stingers. I turned round to see him sitting on his arse and his mates laughing at him. I felt a bit bad after.
  15. Was going to vote Weimann, I just didn't know which one to vote for
  16. Archaeologist. My career's in ruins.
  17. Yeah, big time, big time. When we were 18, me and Rob182 were walking home from the pub and we found a registration plate on the pavement. He decided he wanted it to put on his bedroom wall so carried it home. We go stopped by the coppers, they asked questions, let us go in the end. Got pretty scary there for a minute but we got away with it. We still talk about it to this day. We were pretty rock and roll.
  18. I haven't got kids so can only imagine how life changing it is, how much you love them and how heartbreaking it must be to go back to work after taking care of them for their first few months. But the woman opposite me at work has been back over week now and hasn't shut the **** up about the little sprog for more than 2 minutes. It's really beginning to grate.
  19. Hmm, we need to think of a player with either no balls, or one small ball.
  20. So there's an orange, an apple and a banana, but no pear. The player we are signing doesn't have a pair?
  21. What about my long lost love, the Chocolate Orange Hobnob?
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