Jump to content

All-Purpose Religion Thread


mjmooney

Recommended Posts

Those crystal **** need locked up with homeopathy peddlers and faith healers.

 

Don't listen to them. The science works. The rest are scams designed to exploit vulnerable people.

 

I'm not sure how it happened, or more to the point how I allowed it to happen, but my otherwise secular and sensible girlfriend has suddenly become quite convinced that aromatherapy is a sensible treatment option for...well...**** everything. Now every cough and cold is met with offers of jojoba oil and bees wax. I honestly don't know what to do. Should I dump her? I should probably dump her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Magic crystals.  :)

 

On a related note Uri Geller used to be paid a fortune by oil companies to fly over areas in a helicopter and tell them where not to drill for oil.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Happy Good Friday guys, today we stand in remembrance of our imaginary lord's mythological death and fictional resurrection. Not to mention a bit of paganism as well, even if we're not aware of it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

AVFCforever1991, you can believe in your stupid myths, I'm going to continue to know that Bede received his information on Eostre directly from the goddess herself. He even wrote it in a holy book, so it must be true. Definitely not simply a different spelling of the same goddess.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I thought today was the day that Jesus laid an egg ?

 

I think today is the day that Pontius Pilate laid an egg, Jesus accidentally stepped on it and he sent him to be crucified...

Source: I went to catholic school for 9 years 

Edited by AVFCforever1991
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I went to St Pauls for 1 year.

I still cant work out what Jesus dying for our sins achieved, or why it was such a big deal ?

The history books dont mention any time in history when there has been no sin ?! So that did not work, and if I knew I would be back in 3 days I would be happy to die for your sins.I could die on Tuesday and be back in time for Villa`s next game.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There was no sin at the beginning then a bloody woman turned up and ruined it for the rest of us.

 

Jesus came back and was like, chill, I got this, I'll just get crucified and redeem mankind*

 

 

*well we mean redemption but rather than give you all a free pass, myself and the big guy (who is also myself!) decided your redemption is entirely dependent on baptism and indoctrination into our cult, otherwise you are a sinful sausage and we'll see you in hell, ta xo

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

There was no sin at the beginning then a bloody woman turned up and ruined it for the rest of us.

 

Jesus came back and was like, chill, I got this, I'll just get crucified and redeem mankind*

 

 

*well we mean redemption but rather than give you all a free pass, myself and the big guy (who is also myself!) decided your redemption is entirely dependent on baptism and indoctrination into our cult, otherwise you are a sinful sausage and we'll see you in hell, ta xo

 

Women, It's always the bloody women :angry:

Note to censors: I was kidding

Link to comment
Share on other sites

543149_524640777574693_1480256869_n.jpg

 

Always wondered why the bunnys and eggs but never cared enough to google it. I'm assuming because this is on VT it must be true. 

 

Well, it's on Wikipedia so it must be true :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...
Â