lloydxmas Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 (edited) . Edited February 13, 2016 by lloydxmas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lloydxmas Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 (edited) . Edited February 13, 2016 by lloydxmas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 (edited) There's nothing wrong with venting to a friend or seeking relationship advice from someone close to you. It adds a bit of complication when that person is friends with both of you, but if your motives were noble then there's not much wrong with what you did. They're certainly incomparable to her talking to that other guy. Do you maybe feel guilty about talking to her sister because you have some feelings for her that could be somewhat romantic or sexual? Otherwise I don't think you have anything to feel bad about for talking to her in an attempt to make the best decision for your relationship. I think her drink and your drug issues need to be sorted out, however. You're both doing them because something inside you is obviously unhappy which will be a strain on your relationship. If you can't make yourselves content without the aid of substances then how are you meant to make each other happy? I've always maintained that if you aren't happy on your own then any relationship you get into is more than likely to fail. It's not fair to expect someone else to be the cause of your happiness. That borders on needing someone rather than wanting them and I don't think that's necessarily healthy. Edited February 13, 2016 by Ginko Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 my missus took me away thursday for a surprise. we went up to cheshire and stayed in a log cabin with a hot tub, before that we had a lovely pub meal. im taking her for a meal tonight at one of her favourite places. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 You both seem desperately unhappy together? Just end it and move on with your separate lives. No point continuing in a depressive spiral of misery. For you, go travelling on your own, enjoy yourself 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lloydxmas Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 (edited) . Edited February 13, 2016 by lloydxmas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 yeah it does not sound great. drink,drugs and depression really is a horrible combination. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lloydxmas Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 3 minutes ago, Xela said: You both seem desperately unhappy together? Just end it and move on with your separate lives. No point continuing in a depressive spiral of misery. For you, go travelling on your own, enjoy yourself The voice of reason as always. I'm 100% buying you a beer one day 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 Ha, my personal life is a disaster so remember that before taking my advice You have a great opportunity with your redundancy and as you say you have no ties, make the most of it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lloydxmas Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 (edited) . Edited February 13, 2016 by lloydxmas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeyp102 Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 Lloydxmas. None of us know how you feel and only you can make the final decision. But from this point it does sound like you are unhappy and shouldn't be together. I had similar with my ex about 6-9 months before we split for good. She had been texting someone else and emotionally cheating on me. She swore blind it had been texting and nothing else, it always played on my mind even though I believed she'd never been with him. When we broke up I went travelling and had an awesome time, even though I must be only traveller not to get laid (yes I must be shrek). it seems to me you know what should happen but are scared of doing it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lloydxmas Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 Yeah pal of course im scared. been together since we were 20. I don't know any other life. But I do have some positive options available I am quite fortunate though that I have some good mates dotted around the globe. 100% going to turn up on their doorstep unannounced, then proceed to throw eggs at them haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 27 minutes ago, lloydxmas said: But yeah as you've all said, the weed is an issue. I know this and probably one of the main reasons our relationship fell apart. It suppresses stuff, everything is fine in the world with a hazy head. It's almost like I have 2 personalities, the focused, ambitious day time one, or the chilled out 'doesn't give a shit about anything' evening one. But at least I have realised this now so can make steps to sort it. I just cant make these changes in the current circumstances, and the same probably goes for her too. We still love each other, and will always have a place in my heart. It's just not the right kind of love we need at the moment if that makes sense. A bit of time apart could even sort it, im not one to hold grudges. If she likes this guy, she should just go for it?? I just want her to be happy again, if that's with someone else I can live with that. I have no right to deny her a happy life.. I vaguely know of the lad anyway fro school, decent bloke. He plays guitar, writes poems and is into all that spirituality bollox, all the things she likes. I just hope she's not fallen for his 'online persona'. People are a lot different in person. Man i'm waffling, still cheaper than a counsellor! if he plays guitar just give up. every chick likes a dude who can play guitar right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lloydxmas Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 I forget this is a bloody public forum, got rid of that. Ranting done Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bunnski Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 It's a great feeling when you free yourself from taking on someone else's problems and make that decision once and for all to be on your own thus allowing you to deal with your own issues and having so much more time for positive and enjoyable experiences in your life. Life is for living not sitting around worrying and smoking weed is fine but not when it's a daily habit as it takes over your whole mindset and warps how you view things, similar to drink it's good when you control it and not the other way round. Spread your wings llyod and live your life, youre more fortunate than myself as you've no kids to worry about otherwise I'd be off travelling. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 my missus checked up on a few of my posts the other month and had a paddy. its when people were posting pics of their missus and i just made some polite comments, anyway she did not like it. it pissed me off that she felt the need to snoop and then get arsy over me being me and also me making innocent comments. i nearly deleted my VT account over it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lloydxmas Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 8 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said: if he plays guitar just give up. every chick likes a dude who can play guitar right? haha im a legend in my own right RV, same as you But I do know that where there's music, there's booze, and when there's booze, my missus is very unstable. Not sure If I see a happy ending. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lloydxmas Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 6 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said: my missus checked up on a few of my posts the other month and had a paddy. its when people were posting pics of their missus and i just made some polite comments, anyway she did not like it. it pissed me off that she felt the need to snoop and then get arsy over me being me and also me making innocent comments. i nearly deleted my VT account over it. But she's fine with the other stuff, you're quite open on here? You should write a biography one day, we should get some crowd funding going...best seller! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 6 minutes ago, lloydxmas said: haha im a legend in my own right RV, same as you But I do know that where there's music, there's booze, and when there's booze, my missus is very unstable. Not sure If I see a happy ending. jokes aside i wish you both well and hopefully an happy ending one way or the other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 Just now, lloydxmas said: But she's fine with the other stuff, you're quite open on here? You should write a biography one day, we should get some crowd funding going...best seller! this is the only social media that im on and thats my choice not hers. ive got no interest in fb etc and i know shes glad about that because she would not like me on fb, but VT is my thing and shes always been cool about it, i mean whats not there to be cool about its a footy forum although in my eyes its more than just that. yeah im pretty open and the way people view me on here is how people at work and in the pub view me so im not being fake. just kind of annoyed me that she felt the need to check up and question my personallity. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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