phily85 Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Bit of an update I've gone to stay at my mums for a few days I need space away from her At the weekend so really went off things thrown at me saying all sorts of things about me it was as if it wasn't really her if that makes sense. The final straw was when she called up her mum and stated saying that I was mentally abusing her I just can't look at her at the moment without feeling sad or angry so I've had to step away. Now all I'm getting are texts to say she is sorry and that its my decision to end marriage or not putting it all on me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 27 minutes ago, phily85 said: Bit of an update I've gone to stay at my mums for a few days I need space away from her At the weekend so really went off things thrown at me saying all sorts of things about me it was as if it wasn't really her if that makes sense. The final straw was when she called up her mum and stated saying that I was mentally abusing her I just can't look at her at the moment without feeling sad or angry so I've had to step away. Now all I'm getting are texts to say she is sorry and that its my decision to end marriage or not putting it all on me God sounds like my ex (although we were only engaged) she would be on the phone to her mum all the time and I would have her calling me. Get out of it if I was you you deserve happiness and this definitely does not sound like it. At end of the day does it matter who calls it off as long as you can both move on with your lives? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PieFacE Posted February 9, 2016 VT Supporter Share Posted February 9, 2016 1 hour ago, phily85 said: Bit of an update I've gone to stay at my mums for a few days I need space away from her At the weekend so really went off things thrown at me saying all sorts of things about me it was as if it wasn't really her if that makes sense. The final straw was when she called up her mum and stated saying that I was mentally abusing her I just can't look at her at the moment without feeling sad or angry so I've had to step away. Now all I'm getting are texts to say she is sorry and that its my decision to end marriage or not putting it all on me Has she always been this way or has it started since the pregnancy? I wouldn't be too quick to end a marriage on behavior that could be based on her being incredibly hormonal and possibly scared. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 3 hours ago, PieFacE said: Has she always been this way or has it started since the pregnancy? I wouldn't be too quick to end a marriage on behavior that could be based on her being incredibly hormonal and possibly scared. The FaceMan is wise. For some wimmin, getting pregnant can seriously feck with your hormones/head. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 20 hours ago, Xela said: Valentines Day - what a swiz! Everything becomes more expensive for just one arbitrary day. Everything? You go out for a meal or a drink, and it should be the same price, surely? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 20 hours ago, Dr_Pangloss said: I don't bother personally, it's a load of bollocks. You have to be a chump to fall for it. If you're not religious, what's the difference between Valentine's Day and Xmas (other than the bank holiday). I'm speaking in terms of gift giving ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeyp102 Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 32 minutes ago, Jon said: Everything? You go out for a meal or a drink, and it should be the same price, surely? Nope meal prices go up considerably. 31 minutes ago, Jon said: If you're not religious, what's the difference between Valentine's Day and Xmas (other than the bank holiday). I'm speaking in terms of gift giving ... Valentine's Day is made up by the card company, Christmas even if not religious still has a big meaning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 9 minutes ago, mikeyp102 said: Nope meal prices go up considerably. Not everywhere. For many establishments, if you're lucky enough to get a table, the price is the same as normal. Some places push a special Valentine's menu, but by no means all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 12 minutes ago, mikeyp102 said: Valentine's Day is made up by the card company .... The card company? Which one? Without the religious element, what is Xmas? A time of holiday, 'goodwill', generosity, loving and giving, sponsored by whom? If you 'opt out' of Valentine's day, you could opt out of Xmas on the same grounds. They are both capitalist sponsored days/themes, designed to get us to spend money. and love each other, obviously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 (edited) 3 minutes ago, Jon said: The card company? Which one? Without the religious element, what is Xmas? A time of holiday, 'goodwill', generosity, loving and giving, sponsored by whom? If you 'opt out' of Valentine's day, you could opt out of Xmas on the same grounds. They are both capitalist sponsored days/themes, designed to get us to spend money. and love each other, obviously. Christmas is a Christian holiday (although also celebrated by non christians as well) while Valentines is nothing but a couples day that is meaningless dont understand that bizarre comparison? Edited February 9, 2016 by Demitri_C 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Valentines day is a day some of you lot get sex in exchange for prezzies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 6 minutes ago, rjw63 said: Valentines day is a day some of you lot get sex in exchange for prezzies Thats practically every day for me minus the gift Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HanoiVillan Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 (edited) 7 hours ago, phily85 said: Bit of an update I've gone to stay at my mums for a few days I need space away from her At the weekend so really went off things thrown at me saying all sorts of things about me it was as if it wasn't really her if that makes sense. The final straw was when she called up her mum and stated saying that I was mentally abusing her I just can't look at her at the moment without feeling sad or angry so I've had to step away. Now all I'm getting are texts to say she is sorry and that its my decision to end marriage or not putting it all on me If you're keen on trying to save the relationship, couples counselling is a good option. The problem you have is that the optics of you leaving just a few weeks before she gives birth isn't great. I'm assuming you also want to be a part of the baby's life when it's here? In which case, you have every need to try to at least get to a point where you can break up with no hard feelings. But the posters above are right - hormones are incredibly powerful during pregnancy, she may well seem 'not really her' at points. Good luck mate, sounds like a tough situation. Edited February 9, 2016 by HanoiVillan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted February 9, 2016 VT Supporter Share Posted February 9, 2016 1 hour ago, Demitri_C said: Thats practically every day for me minus the gift Well it would be weird to give your own hand a gift. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V01 Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I'm sure it would appreciate a silk glove... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phily85 Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 If you're keen on trying to save the relationship, couples counselling is a good option. The problem you have is that the optics of you leaving just a few weeks before she gives birth isn't great. I'm assuming you also want to be a part of the baby's life when it's here? In which case, you have every need to try to at least get to a point where you can break up with no hard feelings. But the posters above are right - hormones are incredibly powerful during pregnancy, she may well seem 'not really her' at points. Good luck mate, sounds like a tough situation. It has always been a part of her althougth never been quite at this level. I understand that the whole pregnancy and hormones will be playing I major part I definitely want to be a part of our childs life, that's why its so hard (if there wasn't a child I don't think I'd put up with it) Right now and so close to birth I'm going to take a deep breath bite my tounge and put up with it all and see what happens when we come out of the other side. Right now the baby's health it more important then anything 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HanoiVillan Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 (edited) It sounds like you've pretty much come up with the best plan possible, in the circumstances. In the short term, help her out with the pregnancy and getting ready for the kid, and show willing. In the medium term, I would recommend counselling. Some people on here have been negative about counselling in the past, all I can say is I went to Relate (on my own at first, then with my partner later) when we had a hulking great Issue in our relationship, and the guy who I talked to was massively helpful. Just a thought. As I said above, I wish you the best of luck, whatever you choose. Edited February 9, 2016 by HanoiVillan 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 On 09/02/2016 at 14:00, Demitri_C said: Thats practically every day for me minus the gift Yeah yeah you are getting sex, stop rubbing our desperate noses in it! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lloydxmas Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 (edited) . Edited February 13, 2016 by lloydxmas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 There's a big difference between you turning to her sister for advice (as long as that's all it was) and her turning to another guy and emotionally cheating on you (which is just as bad as physical cheating in my book). It's hard to comment since I know nothing about this girl, but I wouldn't be able to trust my girlfriend again if she'd been talking to another guy in that manner. Even if she was doing it for attention it's still not right and she should know that. You say you weren't giving her attention, may I ask why? It's good that you're owning up to your part in this, but if you're totally honest is neglecting her a little the only bad thing you've done? That being said, given the limited information about the both of you and your relationship, I don't think I'd be able to carry on with it if I were you. She seems pretty unpredictable and untrustworthy, not just because she's talking to other men, but the whole snooping on you on this forum and reading your texts? Doesn't sound like someone I'd want to be with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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