Xela Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Fair enough. I'm not a massive believer in it either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 it just seems to have lost its value. if couples still believe in it then great, I love it when I hear people say they have been married 30 40 year etc and their still as happy as they was when they first got together. fair play to them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 yes definitely, just don't believe in marriage much Out of curiosity, If you have kids together, live together and are attempting to be monogomous, what is it about marriage that you don't like? Genuine question, in that I wouldn't have thought you have any easier route to splitting up now you've been together a while and have family? Is it just the whole 'wedding planning / wedding ceremony' rubbish or is it the thought of a ring on a finger cutting off your freedom? Or something else? I'm just nosey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 I just don't really believe in it for myself, yes I don't fancy spending thousands on something I don't believe in but I am trying to see her point of view, to be honest id have more freedom if I got married because it would show her how much I love her and everything would be so much better for her. im would not be ashamed to say im married I just struggle with the idea of it. maybe I have commitment issues I don't know Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Commitment issues? You have kids mate ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevangrealish Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 Whos got issues ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 Homeless people. badum-tish. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MakemineVanilla Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 it just seems to have lost its value. I can't think of a single reason why a man would get married these days. All it does is to legally entitle a woman to the assets of the man. Family law is hostile to men, so why sign way your rights? Statistically women are far more likely to initiate divorce than men. The law provides the incentive. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Eames Posted February 3, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted February 3, 2014 I like cake. I like plain rings I like massive family parties. Mrs E and me had roughly equal assests going in so its not a problem. Whats not to like? 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 it just seems to have lost its value. I can't think of a single reason why a man would get married these days. Love isn't sufficient reason then? I'm not big on the whole cake / guest list / cans behind an old car schtick, but equally, I've got no problem with it. It doesn't have to be done to excess and be a show wedding costing thousands, but lots of people and family like the tradition and the event and all that. I won't be pushing one way or the other when my kids get to that age, it's their call. But for me it felt like the right and comfortable thing to do. Totally happy with it. I'm speaking from a point of bias I guess, in 6 months time I'll have been with my other half for 30 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MakemineVanilla Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 it just seems to have lost its value. I can't think of a single reason why a man would get married these days. Love isn't sufficient reason then? I'm not big on the whole cake / guest list / cans behind an old car schtick, but equally, I've got no problem with it. It doesn't have to be done to excess and be a show wedding costing thousands, but lots of people and family like the tradition and the event and all that. I won't be pushing one way or the other when my kids get to that age, it's their call. But for me it felt like the right and comfortable thing to do. Totally happy with it. I'm speaking from a point of bias I guess, in 6 months time I'll have been with my other half for 30 years. Love doesn't need certification, legal seal or public ceremony. And, sadly, longevity does not always mitigate against future break up - it is amazing how many couples in their Sixties are getting divorced these days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Eames Posted February 3, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted February 3, 2014 (edited) Well aren't you a little bundle of joy? Edited February 3, 2014 by Eames 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 it just seems to have lost its value. I can't think of a single reason why a man would get married these days. Love isn't sufficient reason then? I'm not big on the whole cake / guest list / cans behind an old car schtick, but equally, I've got no problem with it. It doesn't have to be done to excess and be a show wedding costing thousands, but lots of people and family like the tradition and the event and all that. I won't be pushing one way or the other when my kids get to that age, it's their call. But for me it felt like the right and comfortable thing to do. Totally happy with it. I'm speaking from a point of bias I guess, in 6 months time I'll have been with my other half for 30 years. Love doesn't need certification, legal seal or public ceremony. And, sadly, longevity does not always mitigate against future break up - it is amazing how many couples in their Sixties are getting divorced these days. you're right of course, a calm cool headed study of the statistics, cost benefit analysis and legal position suggests binding public declarations of love may not be to the advantage of the male in the long run but I'm clearly a bit more crazy rock n roll reckless than the average price comparison website spreadsheet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 People have different needs/wants in life. I don't think it is fair to castigate people who get married, nor do I think it is fair to ostracise those who choose to remain single. The latter tends to happen far too often, which is a bit disgraceful. 'How dare you not conform!' etc. I would say though, if you are going into a marriage with concerns over assets, then you're probably with the wrong person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 I think that was all I was trying to say, whilst trying to work and build a mixtape and answer e-mails. I don't multi task well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MakemineVanilla Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 People have different needs/wants in life. I don't think it is fair to castigate people who get married, nor do I think it is fair to ostracise those who choose to remain single. The latter tends to happen far too often, which is a bit disgraceful. 'How dare you not conform!' etc. I would say though, if you are going into a marriage with concerns over assets, then you're probably with the wrong person. Talking straight about marriage is always difficult because the prevailing sentiment is that it should be approved of, and on public occasions applause is actually expected, so it is never greeted as just a choice like any other, approval always seems to be expected and even demanded. On the other hand, single people are usually not only never congratulated, except ironically, they are usually expected to explain why. As for the the self-interested assessment about money and the transfer of assets, this is only disapproved of when men do it but is considered romantic when women do it. The whole of English literature is littered with poor heroins trying to marry into money - from Cinderella to Bridget Jones. I am not sure why in the age of equality that women should enjoy this privilege and men not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eames Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 People have different needs/wants in life. I don't think it is fair to castigate people who get married, nor do I think it is fair to ostracise those who choose to remain single. The latter tends to happen far too often, which is a bit disgraceful. 'How dare you not conform!' etc. I would say though, if you are going into a marriage with concerns over assets, then you're probably with the wrong person. Talking straight about marriage is always difficult because the prevailing sentiment is that it should be approved of, and on public occasions applause is actually expected, so it is never greeted as just a choice like any other, approval always seems to be expected and even demanded. On the other hand, single people are usually not only never congratulated, except ironically, they are usually expected to explain why. As for the the self-interested assessment about money and the transfer of assets, this is only disapproved of when men do it but is considered romantic when women do it. The whole of English literature is littered with poor heroins trying to marry into money - from Cinderella to Bridget Jones. I am not sure why in the age of equality that women should enjoy this privilege and men not. She either said no....or you haven't had a girlfriend. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted February 3, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted February 3, 2014 Someone needs to get laid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 (edited) I'm not sure women do have a position of privilege over men. Possibly in this one narrow field, if it is indeed true that some women marry for money and some men are too dumb to see it. But perhaps overall, I'd suggest men still hold the upper hand as a sweeping generality. As for social mores demanding approval of marriage and explanation of a single lifestyle, personally I don't see that. Or certainly only rarely. One of my mates is single and I have been asked by others in the office if I suspect he's gay. I've said I'm 90% sure he is. In fact, he's actually having an affair with one of our female Clients and they both need it kept secret. If people are shallow enough to need to know stuff like that, then I'm happy to misinform. If you're happy in yourself, I'm not sure 'people' questioning your status is a big deal, surely? I do think women's rights still need to be strengthened as a general point, including some points of positive discrimination in some areas. Edited February 3, 2014 by chrisp65 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 I am not sure why in the age of equality that women should enjoy this privilege and men not. Says you, but as my missus is the bread-winner (and vastly more employable), we've long since agreed that I get to be a house-husband as soon as she's on a big enough salary. Just as long as her dinner's ready when she gets home, so she doesn't have to give me a black eye again. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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