rjw63 Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 Gingerlad, you deserve a title from the mods for this! He's already got one. Ginger cu....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 I was thrown out of Laser Tag earlier. Apparently "using a knife to save ammo" isn't allowed, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arkvillan Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 Frankie Boyle aint got shit on me. Or Sikepedia. yes but frankie says these things on national tv. and, we know who he is :winkold: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gingerlad Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 I'd happily say it on TV. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 He's ginger, he's used to the hate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 WIfe says to husband " as its your 40th birthday as a extra present I will answer one question you ask me truthfully" Husband says to wife " there has been one thing for years I have been wanting to ask, Of all out eight children why does this one look completely different to the rest? does he have a different father?" Wife goes bright red looks nervous and replys "yes" Husband flys into a rage Shouting " I knew it!!!!!! who is it tell me !!!" The wife waits for a few seconds before answering ......."you" (Taken from mario rosenstock of the radio this morning) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryanvilla_1994 Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 What's the difference between Frankie Boyle's Christmas dinner and Jordan's Christmas dinner? At Jordan's, the cabbage sits at the table Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryanvilla_1994 Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 My girlfriend said that she had predictive text. So I sent her a message saying, "I'm shagging your sister". Turns out she didn't predict that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulanddonya Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 Not a joke as such , but this made me laugh earlier not very nice but bloody funny. I was clicking on the AOL news stories and on one (unfortunately I can't find it now) said the following:-- 'Allelujah or Alopetia - is Alexandra Burke losing her hair ? Fecking bloody funny headline that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryanvilla_1994 Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 My new girlfriend said, "You were a virgin before we had sex weren't you?" I said, "Me? Ha .. ha . of course not .. er .. what makes you say that?" She said, "You're not supposed to finish in your sock, that's why" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryanvilla_1994 Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 I'm all for womens equality... Both tits should be as nice as each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryanvilla_1994 Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 When I meet a girl for the first time I shake hands with my left. I don't want to intimidate her with the competition right away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 Man watching tv ..... Wife falls in the door with broken arm broken nose Screamin "did you not hear me after falling down the stairs????" Man says "Oh sorry honey I thought it was the opening credits to eastenders" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hands, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 I went to see a psychic last weekend and she told me that I'd be coming into money. Last night I shagged a girl called Penny! Spooky or what!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 I must have really pissed off my wife when I tried erotic asphyxiation on her when we were having sex. She's been lying there for five days now giving me the silent treatment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to clean-up the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd seriously hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's out stretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. If so I am sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my behaviour." John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird gave a small pause and said "May I ask, what did the turkey do?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 A little boy goes shopping with his mother and is waiting right outside of the ladies dressing room for his mum to come out. While waiting the little boy gets bored and just when his mum comes walking out, she sees her son sliding his hand up a mannequin's skirt. "Get your hand out of there!" she shouts. "Don't you know that women have teeth down there?" The little boy quickly snatches his hand away and thanks his lucky stars he didn't get bitten. For the next ten years, this little boy grows up believing all women have teeth between their legs. When he's 16, he gets a girlfriend. One night, while her parents are out of town, she invites him over for a little action. After an hour of making out and grinding on the sofa, she says, "You know, you could go a little further if you want." "What do you mean?" he asks. "Well, why don't you put your hand down there?" she says, pointing to her crotch. "HELL NO," he cries, "you've got teeth down there!" "Don't be ridiculous," she responds, "there's no such thing as teeth down there!" "Yes, there are," he says, "my mum told me so!" "No, there aren't," she insists. "Here, look for yourself." With that, she pulls down her pants and gives him a little peek. "No, I'm sorry" he says. "My mum already told me that all women have teeth down there." "Oh for crying out loud!" she cries. She whips off her panties, throws her legs behind her head and says, "LOOK, I DON'T have any teeth down there." The boy takes a good long look and replies, "Well, after seeing the condition of those **** gums, I'm not surprised" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 The Pope was having a shower. Although he's very strict about celibacy, he occasionally felt he needed "to exercise the Papal wrist", and this happened to be one of those occasions. Just as he reached the Papal climax he saw a photographer taking a picture of the Holy seed flying through the air. "Hold on a minute!" said the Pope, "You can't do that - you'll destroy the reputation of the Church!" "This is my big lottery win," said the photographer, "I'll be financially secure for life with these photos!" So the Pope offered to buy the camera from the photographer. After much negotiation they eventually settled on a figure of 2,000,000 Euros. The Pope clothed himself and headed off to destroy the images on the camera. Along the vast Vatican hallways he bumped into his personal housekeeper. Being a bit of a photography buff she noticed the camera and said, "That looks like a really expensive digital SLR camera, how much did it cost you?" Not being one to lie, the Pope replied, "Two million Euros..." "TWO MILLION EUROS!" she exclaims. "They must have seen you coming!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts