knoppy1987 Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 My daughter just walked into the living room and said "Dad cancel my allowance, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window, take my TV, stereo, iPhone and jewellery to the charity shop. Sell my car, take my front door key and throw me out of the house". Well she didn't actually put it like that... she said... "Dad this is my new boyfriend, Mohammed." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClaretMahoney Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Oh my god. I didn't just read that!!! WTF!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Wtf? No Rjw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryanvilla_1994 Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 My daughter just walked into the living room and said "Dad cancel my allowance, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window, take my TV, stereo, iPhone and jewellery to the charity shop. Sell my car, take my front door key and throw me out of the house". Well she didn't actually put it like that... she said... "Dad this is my new boyfriend, Mohammed." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 my facebook friends love it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrbojangles Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 mrbojangles wrote: Feel a little sorry for Andy Gray. I mean the guy worked for sky for 15 years , first time he talks sense and the Fu**cker gets sacked! Looks four posts above .... gutted thats my first bin dunne and it was on the same page, what an idiot!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClaretMahoney Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Here's one you kinda have to use body gestures... Why do women love Jesus so much?? (open your arms like you're on the cross) Cause he's hung like this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villahero Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 American................FBI Agent English....................MI5 Agent Russian....................KGB Agent Asian.......................News Agent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 American................FBI Agent English....................MI5 Agent Russian....................KGB Agent Asian.......................News Agent Heh :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted February 1, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted February 1, 2011 A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure... In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gingerlad Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 American................FBI Agent English....................MI5 Agent Russian....................KGB Agent Asian.......................News Agent Aston Villa ........................... Ridgewell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted February 1, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted February 1, 2011 American................FBI Agent English....................MI5 Agent Russian....................KGB Agent Asian.......................News AgentThe US equivalent of MI5 and the KGB would be the CIA, not the FBI. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Also it's FSB now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted February 1, 2011 Moderator Share Posted February 1, 2011 A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure... In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted February 2, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted February 2, 2011 What do you call someone who doesn't like circumcision? Adjudicator. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted February 2, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted February 2, 2011 Hahahaha. Took me a short while to get that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted February 2, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted February 2, 2011 I made it up all by my own self and all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted February 2, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted February 2, 2011 I may have to steal it for Facebook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troglodyte Posted February 3, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted February 3, 2011 Ha, took me a while too, but got there in the end. Good work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 This morning while looking for a clean shirt I found my wife's secret diary. I was both delighted and aroused to read about her rough and dirty sexual fantasies, all involving anal. That was of course until I remembered she's dyslexic and my best mate's name is Alan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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