privateer

TBH, I'm thinking similar. he needs a **** rocket up the arse, that's for sure. It's pretty much every game at some point he's Franz Beckenbauer in his head but Titus **** Bamble with his feet. The problem is, we want ball players everywhere so can't discourage it yet it's all about decision making.

**** Mings **** about again.

He's shown glimpses of real talent, got heaps of potential. And he scaplula'd us up into the PL so he'll always be looked upon with affection and gratitude. But he really needs to find some mean and harden the **** up sometimes. He's a big, strapping lad who's **** rapid but he's got to find his beast mode to get to the next level. He's got to go to bed tonight as his usual Jar Jar Binks-like self and wake up as Zlatanaldo. Full of running, piss taking, fire and vinegar.

He would? Smith has a machine that will do that? Something like that one in The Fly where he has two pods, sticks the late twenties, shit, venal, lazy, useless Benteke in one pod and with a couple of zaps of electricity and plasma out springs a seven years younger, fit, hungry, loyal Benteke from the other? Yeah, OK.

And that, dear reader, is the primary reason B€n£€k€ isn't worth a **** light, especially to us. He doesn't give a **** because he's always been about the money.

AFAIK, from what has come out of the club, he'll be permanently sub-100% now. Or to put another way, his current and future 100%, however often or rare he's in that condition, will never be pre-injury level. So, yes, Macca and Ledley type managing and nursing is how it'll go, it seems, but I don't recall ever reading exactly what the injury was or how exactly it did and does affect him. It seems the club are being a bit quiet about all that and possibly for good reason. There's been stuff said about him playing when he very much shouldn't have and the club may very well be seriously embarrassed by one of their employees being crocked because one of their former employees was so incompetent before he was fired that he breached a duty of care. I think he'll be looked after on a nod and a wink at the very least. The fact he was up there with Jack collecting the trophy at Wembley was telling, I thought.

He was on the bench in at least one of the last two games, wasn't he? Edit: He was on the bench for Wolves 10th Nov but not against the Barcodes.

Really, just stop it now. That's a joke that hasn't been funny for about three years.

As has been mentioned but can't be repeated often enough, we got hugely lucky twice. Not because that charlatan "steadied the ship", many managers could have done that. When RDM was blown out, we had a pretty good squad that hadn't delivered results and Bruce was given plenty to change the squad in his own image. And because he only got us to the cusp of the big time and failed by stinking Wembley out with the team and tactics in his own image. The double stroke of huge luck was his failure directly lead to Xia being exposed as a total chancer. The second stroke of luck was we didn't end up with him as our manager in the PL as Wyness and Xia stayed in place to wreck the club. Be in no doubt, had we gone up that year we absolutely would have "done the Fulham" that the lazy pundits have been talking about this year. we'd be skint and in the Championship.

Agreed Even this early they're the proverbial six-pointers and we need to get some distance from those around us.

At present? Well, I suppose every current second is "the present" and is perpetual and was when it was the present in the past. So yeah, at present.

I think we should and think we will, too. If we aren't beating these teams, relegation candidates, we've got a problem.

So that's us playing an OGS Manure next week, then.

Second most stylish gilet-wearing Hotspur changeling his inner Tactics Tim. He even said a couple of days ago he'd be seeking to inject pashunn into the players.

OK, I look forward to that. "OK, Little Danny - I can call you Danny, can't I? OK, Little Danny, I know this is going to be hard for you but do you think you can stop crying long enough to show me on the doll what Nas and Wes did to you when you tried to take their favourite toy off them?"

Well, I did sort of cover that with the "savvy club or business" caveat.

AFAIC, Spuds can sign Benteke now with my blessing. As Poch's replacement.

The replacement negotiations were finally concluded, maybe? They wouldn't have sacked him without having someone lined up. All the bollocks about "the search starts now" that clubs come out with after a manager is sacked is just that, complete bollocks. Any savvy club, or any business for that matter, doesn't leap into the dark like that.

That's true. Three times the karm charm, eh? The universe isn't done with you yet, blue nose, you utter word removed. Not by a long way.

Just shows how many chances we are creating if he's scored as many and as frequently as that whilst being simultaneously disappointing. Imagine how many he'd have if he could keep his feet or head a ball.

Exactly. When I was playing I used to kick myself in the back of my own head during the warm up to psyche out the opponents.

It's a very common for actors to do that "scouse brummie" accent, I've been hearing it since the days of "Crossroads". Years ago a mate of mine went off to uni and pointed out the only good aspect about the shite brummie accent was no bugger could actually take the piss out of it properly because nobody could actually do it. The best they could do is what actors who manage to avoid scouse brummie - or scummy, if you prefer - do and that's the yam yam midlands accent. Despite it being an utterly bone accent and sounding simple to reproduce, it's actually hellishly difficult for a non-native to replicate with any consistent authenticity. As you've mentioned, sometimes a few people will pull off a sentence or two but the longer they're expected to speak, the harder it is to not slide around the region before finally ending up in Birkenhead.

So what you're saying is, It's Our Round?

I'm hoping for Norwich, Newcastle and WH (in perpetuity). I doubt the latter will go but I'll happily take two out of three.