Morley_crosses_to_Withe

wE WiLl wiN wEn wE pLAy d EaZy TeeMz

I’m sorry, but this bloke should not be out of the firing line whilst some serious questions need to be answered. I look at the performance levels of some, if not most, of the summer signings and think what the **** did Suso and his lot see in these players.

Interesting you should mention him because not long after leaving Villa, he ended up at...Club Brugge. He averaged a goal every other game for them despite looking like it was the first time he’d ever seen a football whilst playing for us.

I usually just go through the Rogues Gallery, but I’ll try this next time instead.

One of my dreams in life is to find a Keenan in one of his fixture posts, respond with a GIF, and to get a like from the legend himself

After lots of deliberation, I have decided I’ll be taking a dump on my ballot paper and wiping it around the polling booth. Either that or I just won’t bother turning up.

I borrowed some money from an Aussie mate and now he won’t stop calling me. So annoying! It happens at all times of the day as well, sometimes when I’m fast asleep. It’s not even a huge amount and I know he’d just waste it on going out with women who he never gets anywhere with. I’m purposely ignoring him now to wind him up.

If you like black men as a sexual preference, then that’s being attracted to someone because of their skin colour, and is also racist. Please subject yourself to thirty days of woke education by reading: The Guardian opinion section, Buzzfeed, and Vice.

It depends what you define as low rent? Stamford Bridge (in Fulham) is just off the Fulham Road. The average rent for a one bedroom in Fulham is probably, at a guess, >£2000 pcm. There are, however, some local authority developments (council estates) within a walking(ish) distance to the ground, though. Craven Cottage is the same. It’s also in Fulham and just over the water from Putney & Barnes - both areas aren’t low rent, even for London standards.

Yeah, he’s been doing some fantastic work off the ball, dragging defenders out of position by generally lumbering twenty years behind the play. There was one moment when he muscled someone off the ball too! Man, you should have seen it. He then passed the ball to nobody, but still. Nice flick on for for their goal, too, which just shows - if that was in their box, and it found a Villa shirt rather than a United player, it would have been a sublime assist. You can see the lad has some talent.

We have to score another here just to draw because we have to factor in the inevitable goal we’ll concede late on

2-1 to us. United to go ahead but we’ll give them a taste of their own medicine and come from behind to win. McGinn and Grealish to score.

I see Boris has got a Christmas tree up outside #10. It’s only November still, what a word removed.

Damn it, I missed that one

Why do you do this to us, Keenan? Why?

If we get relegated, he’s the man to get us promoted again. If we don’t, he’s also the man to push us on to the next level. Good move by the club after years of bad decisions in terms of hiring managers and the extending the contract of those clearly not cut out for the job.

As we’re doing poo stories: on a lads’ holiday years ago to Spain years ago, I charmed a young lady in to coming back to my hotel room. After giving her the most feeble three minutes of her life, I fell asleep, but during the night I woke up needing the most thunderous poo imaginable. I ran to the toilet and the sound of me sh***ing was like a diesel tractor spluttering along a country lane and the tiling in the bathroom just increased the acoustics of it all. What made it worse was it wasn’t just the one bowel movement, it was several, and you could have sipped each with a spoon. It seems I’d actually caught some kind of stomach bug because I spent the next few hours going backward and forwards to the toilet with my companion lying no more than a few feet from the adjoining bathroom wall. After a while, my friend for the evening finally got out of bed, but she wanted me to walk her down to street level and into a cab. I was worried I wouldn’t make it and thought I might splatter the inside of my shorts in the lift. Fortunately I made it downstairs without an accident, but soon as she got in to a waiting cab, I closed the door and couldn’t stop myself from letting out a fart and splattering the whole of my under crackers. As she turned to wave goodbye, I stood red-faced on the side of the road, waving back, hoping she wouldn’t notice it dripping down my legs.

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As someone who lives in London, I no longer give a toss about Uber. I’ve said on here recently that I’m sick of the constant surge pricing and drivers accepting then suddenly cancelling. Also, the “X mins” away is often nonsense and particular annoying when the driver cancels when they’re apparently not far away. If I cancel within a certain timeframe, Uber can charge me, but I don’t get any credit in return when it’s them cancelling and causing me the inconvenience. It was great at first, but the general standards these days, pricing function, and the behaviour of the drivers has made it a horribly shit service.

Sounds okay. Can you carry on describing what else they’d be doing?

Eyes as blue as the summer sky, cheeky cute smile, fiery and playful curls.... 8/10 WB.

I’ve pretty much exhausted PornHub so new wanking material is always welcomed.

Peloton bikes. Ooooo, so it’s an exercise bike with a TV stuck on the front? And you get a word removed in Lycra shouting motivational slogans at you on screen. And it’s just £1,999? Sounds like a **** bargain aside from it’s not and I might as well just buy a normal exercise bike and find a free workout video on Youtube.