brommy Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 What do you do when asked to be best man and really don't want to do it? I've been asked to do it twice and have refused on both occasions. If you're shy and introverted public speaking is the last thing you want to do. The first guy who asked me I'd known for around 5-6 years and when I turned him down explaining why I didn't want to do it neither he nor his family spoke to me again. It was taken as an insult but certainly not intended as one and while it's an honour to be asked should you not have the right to decline? It is very poor form to end a friendship because someone explained why they were not comfortable being a best man. I had little to no choice to be best man for my brother, back in my early twenties. It was 20 years ago when PowerPoint wasn't even an option! I was a hundred times more nervous being best man than I was being in the spotlight at the alter for my own wedding the following year. My speech was just about okay with a couple of jokes (cue polite laughs), a couple of thank yous and raising a toast to finish. I hated every second of the few minutes and was relieved that I could finally enjoy the rest of the day when it was over. Between being more confident and being able to fall back on a few PowerPoint photos, I like to think I'd do a better job now; even so I'm glad everyone I know who might now ask me is already married! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted May 14, 2013 Moderator Share Posted May 14, 2013 The first guy who asked me I'd known for around 5-6 years and when I turned him down explaining why I didn't want to do it neither he nor his family spoke to me again.It was your cousin wasn't it? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pongotastic Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 I would keep it straight forward and funny. Start planning immediately and ask people for suggested gags. Use the internet as a template BUT do not use any jokes from there. They're old hat and have been seen and heard many a time, particularly by wedding regulars. A killer first line always sets the scene nicely. Maybe something topical. I went to a wedding at the weekend and the opener really got the crowd going (though a bit contoversial).# 'I've been really nervous about this speech. I've been sweating like a Coronation Street script editor'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morpheus Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 The first guy who asked me I'd known for around 5-6 years and when I turned him down explaining why I didn't want to do it neither he nor his family spoke to me again. It was your cousin wasn't it? No mate. Just a friend who i went clubbing with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8pints Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 The first guy who asked me I'd known for around 5-6 years and when I turned him down explaining why I didn't want to do it neither he nor his family spoke to me again. It was your cousin wasn't it? No mate. Just a friend who i went clubbing with. This kind? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YLN Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 The first guy who asked me I'd known for around 5-6 years and when I turned him down explaining why I didn't want to do it neither he nor his family spoke to me again. It was your cousin wasn't it? No mate. Just a friend who i went clubbing with. This kind? This kind? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NurembergVillan Posted May 14, 2013 Author Moderator Share Posted May 14, 2013 The wedding is at a proper castle so there are no powerpoint or presentations tools available. My original plan was to create an X-Factor style montage involving interviewing the lads on the stag do plus his family etc. Would've been funny. Sadly not. Surely you could sort that yourself? Only need a projector and laptop. Sound would be a struggle but at least you could show pictures That's what I thought but I went up to view the room and it's just not suitable. It's the wrong shape, and there are no flat, picture/mirror-free walls to project onto so it'd need a screen too. Gonna have to rely on my natural ability to wow a crowd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 Hope it goes better than the one time I did the job, which in fact had more than enough incidents in one wedding to write a feature film about. Shame the genres been done to death. Bride blamed me for ruining her day, like it was my fault she got to the church ten mins early and saw me talking to the grooms identiacal twin outside the church and automatically thought the groom was having second thoughts. When I told her she'd have to drive round the block for 15 mins because half the guests hadn't arrived, it confirmed it for her. At the point the groom hadn't even turned up because he was fetching his ageing aunt and was running slightly late but I couldn't tell her that as... well you can imagine Brides family hated me for taking the piss out of the priest in the speech but he deserved it because he was dressed like a tramp and never once got the grooms name correct during the ceremony, until that day we didn't know there were so many male christian names beginning with Ed. Not once did he say Edward! Certain friends were literally eating their fists at the back of the church every time he got the name wrong, to no avail, stifled guffaws could be heard and more and more of them every time a new name was introduced to the ceremony. Despite all that, me thanking Father Jack in my speech went down like a lead balloon on her side of the party. And thats just a taster... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted June 24, 2013 Moderator Share Posted June 24, 2013 That does sound like we need the full version Bicks. Whenever you get a chance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 Bicks you do have some classic stories from your past. Was it you who had an affair with another mans wife which started on their wedding night back in 1988? That was you wasn't it? Please release an autobiography, I will be the first in the queue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 I would keep it straight forward and funny. Start planning immediately and ask people for suggested gags. Use the internet as a template BUT do not use any jokes from there. They're old hat and have been seen and heard many a time, particularly by wedding regulars. A killer first line always sets the scene nicely. Maybe something topical. I went to a wedding at the weekend and the opener really got the crowd going (though a bit contoversial).# 'I've been really nervous about this speech. I've been sweating like a Coronation Street script editor'. I agree with this advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted June 24, 2013 Moderator Share Posted June 24, 2013 Bicks you do have some classic stories from your past. Was it you who had an affair with another mans wife which started on their wedding night back in 1988? That was you wasn't it? Please release an autobiography, I will be the first in the queue. Erm yep that was me too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 :clap: I wouldn't even have the guts to even try that. Fair play. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted June 25, 2013 Moderator Share Posted June 25, 2013 A killer first line always sets the scene nicely. Maybe something topical. I went to a wedding at the weekend and the opener really got the crowd going (though a bit contoversial).#I went with"Patrick this is about to be the most uncomfortable ten minutes of your life. Mary yours will be later on tonight.".Got a big laugh, it set the scene and I nailed the speech. But a lot of time and effort went into it so yeah preparation is key. You won't write a good last minute best man's speech because you need to go back into the past for all the (appropriate) stories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 A killer first line always sets the scene nicely. Maybe something topical. I went to a wedding at the weekend and the opener really got the crowd going (though a bit contoversial).# I went with "Patrick this is about to be the most uncomfortable ten minutes of your life. Mary yours will be later on tonight.". That joke is oooooooooold Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted June 25, 2013 Moderator Share Posted June 25, 2013 Well the speech was in 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 fairy nuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NurembergVillan Posted June 25, 2013 Author Moderator Share Posted June 25, 2013 In the end the speech went down really well, quite a few saying it was the best they'd ever heard (honestly!). It went on for about 15 mins with the laughter and applause etc and I was thankful that the day before I'd chopped a good few bits out. The opening line went down well - half of the group were Chinese, a few coming over from Hong Kong for it, so I went with "Some of you have travelled a long way to be here and don't speak very good English so a big welcome to the Brummie contingent". Jackpot! Got a bit brave later on and threw out an improvised line too. The bride's family are called Wong so I said "James - today Kelly has taken the Soden name so it's important for you to remember that she'll never be Wong again". Gotta love a corny gag! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted June 25, 2013 Moderator Share Posted June 25, 2013 Yeah those ones can go either way But as long as the audience are on your side you should be fine. I wouldn't have used it as a rescuer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tegis Posted June 25, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted June 25, 2013 Nothing about up the Wong un? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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