Enda

Well, we're back. A bit of pride wearing the shirt again. A Villa fan as manager, and a young starlet our captain. I'm excited for next season. We'll be entertaining the likes of Man City and Liverpool in Villa Park again. We'll get thumped... but might steal a scalp against one or two. Being realistic, we'll likely hover in the bottom-half of the table. The jump up in quality is huge, even in the years since we've dropped down. Finishing 14th or so will have to be considered a success. We could easily be a better side than your Norwiches, Brightons, Bournemouths, and so 11th-15th is a fair target. If Deano can push us a bit farther, up to the likes of West Ham, he'll have exceeded expectations IMHO. I imagine we'll need at least two players who can get 10+ goals a season to survive. Tammy is one candidate, and Jack is another. It's vitally important we sign two serious players in midfield, and our full-backs are definitely our least proven position at the moment. Get that sorted, and sort out our loans, and we'll have a chance. Anyway, here's to another year in claret and blue. Up the Villa.

I hope you're joking.

Up the Villa! (Jesus, my heart.)

I've started to peek at TV subscriptions to watch the Premier League

Sky Sports is such wank. Bear Gryllis? It's a football match ffs.

I still haven't forgiven him for that Stoke goal against us in 2009.

I'd start Whelan, and play Jimmy on the wing. I also offer my services at left-back ahead of Neil Taylor.

If we get promoted I'd be happy enough with the two of them seriously competing for the shirt.

When Oliver Cromwell landed in Ireland, he was 5 foot 4. By the time he left, he was the biggest prick in Europe.

First time I've seriously criticized Smith. They absolutely controlled the middle of the field until the sending off. We were calling out for subs. We were extremely lucky.

If you can't see my point at this stage we'll have to just leave it

Stamped on his head Here's the clip: All I'm saying is, at full speed, it's hard to blame the linesman for concluding there was an elbow to the face.

He was fooled by Bamford. Obviously the linesman was incorrect, but I blame Bamford 100 times more than the linesman.

Well, well, well. Dirty little scrotes playing on with a player down with a head injury. Hourihane had put it out for a throw five minutes earlier. Ref should have stopped it even. El-Ghazi's red should definitely be rescinded, and hopefully Bamford gets a ban (and an Oscar nomination) for that reaction. Hard to blame the linesman really. Well done to Steer and Mings. Heroes. After that reaction, Jack will want to hammer them in the final if we play them.

Does this lad still play for us?

Just gonna put it out there that I called 5th place a long time ago

If we beat Leeds, it'll give them a serious confidence blow as they possibly face us in the playoffs. If we lose, we probably won't have to play them again anyway.

West Brom 2-1 down now!

Looks very much like a broken arm to me.

Nancy Pelosi comes out strongly in favour of the Good Friday Agreement.

That Salah lad has some left foot. Sign him up.

Their keeper is half-decent isn't he?