TheSufferingVilla

We don't get far enough up the pitch to win free kicks in scoring positions.

There's no magical buyer waiting in the wings, who in their right mind would want to buy Villa? Like all major football clubs we are massively overvalued as the financial state of football continues to crumble. We play in the Premier League where the competition and money is fierce, no other Arab groups would dare piss into the same pot as Man City especially since they would have such a sizable head start. We are stuck with Randy and Randy is stuck with Villa. The best thing we can do is convince him to put a CEO in charge of the club who understands the game and the politics that go with it rather than that naive fool Faulkner.

Anyhoo, for those bored enough to read it here's my breakdown of MON's transfer activity: Stiliyan Petrov (Celtic, £6.5m) Excellent Signing worth every penny. Didier Agathe (Celtic, Free) Failure but cost nothing. Chris Sutton (Celtic, Free) Good stop gap signing, unlucky to get a career ending injury whilest at Villa. John Carew (Lyon, Swap) Considering it was a swap deal for that tool Baros, Carew was an excellent signing, excited the fanbase and scored some important goals. Ashley Young (Watford, £9.65m) One of the best signings any Villa manager has made. Shaun Maloney (Celtic, £1.1m) An inexpensive gamble, produced a couple of great performances and some lousy ones before seperation from his mammy syndrome sent him back up North. Moustapha Salifou (FC Wil, Undisc) Bizarre signing but thankfully cost feck all Zat Knight (Fulham, £3.5m) On paper looked good, English international and a Villa fan to boot for a low fee, believe it or not we made a tidy profit on him and got some decent performances while he was here Harry Forrester (Watford, £250 000) Who? Eric Lichaj (Unattached, Free) Jury is still out. Marlon Harewood (West Ham, £3.5m) Strange signing, you could almost call him the poor mans Heskey. At the time it looked like it could be a shrewd bit of business after all he did bag 14 Premiership goals a season before but he certainly proved to be a flop. Nigel Reo-Coker (West Ham £8.5m) Nobody divides opinion quite like Reo, as club captain he led West Ham through Promotion to the FA Cup final and for all purposes it looked like a soliddeal but Reo and MON were constantly at war with one another. Still he played over a hundred times for Villa so certainly he can't be labelled a flop. Wayne Routledge (Tottenham, £1.5m) Inexpensive flop, who like all former players came back to haunt us with his goal on Monday. FFS. Curtis Davies (WBA, £10m) Expensive flop, in part due to injury, looked good at times, pub player at others and arrived as part of some puzzling loan to buy contract that we were oblidged to execute despite him getting crocked before becomming officially our player. Steve Sidwell (Chelsea £5.5m) Ginger Flop. Went missing on arrival, still has not been found. Brad Friedel (Blackburn, £2.5m) Excellent signing, served us very well Brad Guzan (Chivas US, £1m) Solid number 2, for a reasonable price. Nicky Shorey (Reading, £4m) Garbage Luke Young (Middlesbrough, £5m) Excellent player, produced many fine performances out of position. Carlos Cuellar (Rangers £7.8m) I like and rate Carlos, certainly I think he's had a raw deal at Villa in part due to MON playing him out of position for extended periods but for the price we paid, not a terrible deal. James Milner (Newcastle, £12m) Many people thought 12 million was too much for a then unproven player. In the end we doubled our money lost our best player which in part most likely led to O'Neills departure. Emile Heskey (Wigan £3.5m) Good ****. Stewart Downing (Middlesbrough £10m) 10 million for a crocked player sounded like madness and for the first season it appeared so until he finally found his form. We doubled our money so Downing has to be considered a superb bit of transfer business. Fabian Delph (Leeds United £6m) Jury still out Delph remember suffered a near career ending knee injury. He may still come good but I wouldn't rate this as a poor signing, time will tell. Habib Beye (£2m) Shit signing, shit player the club gave big wages to only for MON to not bother using. Andy Marshall (free agent) Who cares Stephen Warnock (£6m) Good player playing well this season, Houllier didn't like him for whatever childish reason but it's hard to know if MON would have gotten the best out of him had he stayed. the transfer fee includes the England International surcharge James Collins (West Ham United, £5m) I really can't decide if he's worth the money or not. Richard Dunne (Manchester City, £6m) City's captain and 4 time player of the season, personally I think he's one of the best defenders in the league and worth every penny. So from all that I reckon 8 really excellent signings: Petrov, L Young, A Young, Carew(considering the circumstances), Milner, Friedel, Downing, Dunne. 5 Good signings: Knight(Made a profit), Reo-Coker, Guzan, Cuellar, Warnock. 1 Still to be determined signing: Delph. 1 I can't make my mind up about: Collins. 6 Brutal signings: Harewood, Davies, Sidwell, Shorey, Heskey, Beye. The rest were short loans or gambles that cost **** all. Isn't as bad as some people make out is it? Couple it with the deadwood MON had to clear out: Kevin Phillips, Matthieu Berson, Ulises De La Cruz, Peter Whittingham, Eric Djemba Djemba, Milan Baros, Mark Delaney (Sadly retired), Juan Pablo Angel, Liam Ridgewell, Jlloyd Samuel, Lee Hendrie, Steven Davis, Aaron Hughes, Gavin McCann, Gary Cahill (Terrible decision), Luke Moore, Olof Mellberg(Legend), Patrick Berger, Thomas Sorensen, Gareth Barry (word removed), Martin Laursen (retired), Craig Gardner. You can paint his tenure in as many layers of shit as you like but at the end of the day he built a competitive team from a load of rubbish and his biggest purchases all turned a major profit.

Milosevic against Coventry is one. If memory serves me correctly despite the hatrick it was a lousy performance from the Serb as he managed to miss another 6 sitters.

I've always felt that about the few folks that do seem to think he's more than just a water carrier **** sake.

Keeper should have stamped on the skinheads face and been automatically awarded man of the match for doing so. Ref was a grade a clearing in the woods for sending him off.

I **** dispise the word removed. Rarely is Hutton in position and when he is he's usually doing something idiotic. A coupleof half decent forward runs does not make him a decent right back. I'd rather Carlos to this lump any day.

Gary Lineker looks to be hitting the steroids pretty hard.

Is this on Sky/ESPN? Any of the Irish Villans know if it will be shown in Murray's?

Somewhere between 7th and 9th. Man City, United, Chelsea, Liverpool, Arsenal, Spurs are in a different league. We sit towards the better end of the rest along with Newcastle. We are utterly shit but lucky for us so are the rest of the league except for the teams mentioned above.

So my workplace is going through a bit of a mass exodus phase right now with a lot of senior and long time employees packing up and heading for new pastures. I just complained to some of my staff that it's unfortunate that everyone is departing with grace as opposed to running naked through the office screaming obscenities and smashing windows. It was then brought to my attention that I had missed the mass email sent to 800+ employees this summer by a departing technician in California, it's superb. Obviously a couple of items have been omitted for privacy reasons but if anyone else has any good job quitting stories please share as I might need some ideas for when it comes to the point that I've had enough of this shit.

Best experience I had in the cinema this year, by far: The rest: No they weren't "Acclaimed" by art house critics. Nor are they considered "Important Motion Pictures". They don't even have Laurel Leaves like that Cedar Rapids flick but for my money they were the most entertaining.

Elmander currently winning with 30% of votes. Didn't think Bolton could muster enough fans to rig a poll.

His best game for me was the 0-0 home draw against United before Christmas in 2008. We were coming off a bad run of form that had been broken with a shock win at the Emirates and then the usual shit show against United was on the horizon ready to **** over our return to form. United at that point were quickly turning around their season and becoming unplayable as they attempted to catch Liverpool and Chelsea. Tevez, Rooney, Ronaldo, it didn't look like a promising fixture but Petrov that day dominated the midfield despite being hindered by missing man Sidwell alongside him. It was a phenomenal performance highlighted by:

A night to remember, what an awesome random quest. Spoiler: So at the end I went to Morvunskar and found myself getting pummeled by a Pyromancer, I tried and tried again before at one point accidentally walking backwards into the portal. Having no idea the portal was there I was bloody confused to find myself on a charming country path. Fast forward I find myself back in reality and fast travel my ass back to Morvunskar (got to make sure I pick the dungeon clean of any good gear) lo and behold I walk into a fight between said Pyromancer and none other than Sanguine the Daedric Prince who it must be said despite being an all powerful immortal, he's fairly crap in a fight.

****, hope I haven't been dead for over 20 years. I'd have been working these shitty jobs and following the garbage that is Villa rather than haunting a Kentucky sorority house, or making Harry Redknapps life a living hell.

Had a couple of very spooky experiences over the course of a number of years at my parents place both as a kid and as an adult. I can explain nearly every last one of them away with Science and reasoning the only thing that bugs me is that in all the other places I've every lived or stayed nothing even remotely similar has ever happened and I'm not the only one. All my siblings have witnessed, experienced similar freakishness but one tale takes the biscuit. Many years ago I was out getting takeaway with an older brother and I was telling him about a freaky incident in the house: Was home alone sitting in the shitter, heard an adjacent door open "who the **** could that be" and somebody walking up to the door. I loudly exclaimed: "I'm in here" when suddenly the light flicked off (switch was on the other side of the door) I figured it was somebody **** with me. Parents were away, brothers had all moved out but somebody had surely made a surprise visit. So I yanked on my pants and sprung out the door. Room was empty, house was empty, all windows and doors locked. Not a shred of evidence that anybody had been there. I was utterly bewildered surely it had to be one of my brothers **** around but who would have come all the way out there to flick off a light switch? I let it be. So a year or two later where are at the takeaway and for whatever reason I was telling him about the time somebody came into the house and flicked off the bathroom light while I was taking a crap. He countered with a better tale: Full house everyone was home for Christmas, him and another brother who was closest in age to him had been out at the pub. The two had never gotten along not as kids and not as adults. At this point one was in college the older one had just graduated and lo and behold they had to share a room in the packed house. The older one had left the pub early and went home to bed, the younger came home about an hour later and hit the sack. He was just drifting asleep when he heard an unmerciful scream from across the room, he looked over and could see the other brother staring at the door way with a look of horror on his face. His eyes went that direction and there by the doorway was a young boy with his back turned to them. The apparition was there for a moment still before disappearing through the closed door. Well needless to say the two of them freaked out and my mother hearing the yelling came into the room to find the two of them in a state of shock. She did what all good mums would do and blamed the booze. Anyway good story, didn't believe it. Was tempted to ask my other brother for his account but never did, mostly from fear that he would back up the tale. So ten years or so pass and I'm out having dinner with that other brother when my wife starts talking about how my parents house freaks her out. Lo and behold we are treated to his account of events: He came home and went straight to bed, struggled to fall asleep when he heard what sounded like the other brother coming into the room he went to roll over and looked up seeing somebody standing in the doorway, he looked over and saw his brother tucked away in bed looked back and realized it was a kid and let out a yelp before the kid vanished. The stories were essentially identical despite been told a decade apart and I can't think of any reason why the two of them who can barely stand the sight of each other would make it up....

!!!TO THE HALL OF FAME WITH THIS THREAD!!! Or perhaps VT needs another forum in recognition of this thread. Hall of shame anybody?

I cannot understand why any fan would want their team to lose, yes people can moan and boo, but wanting them to lose is something I cannot fathom That's just how sad some of our 'supporters' have become. I don't think it's anything new. During the MON days for whatever reason we had plenty of fans who hated him so much they would obviously take a perverse pleasure in seeing us lose. Building up to the games they would spout nothing but negative bile. If we won you wouldn't see them on the site for a week. If we lost they would post like spam bots smug as ****.

Ahh FFS. Something needs to be understood: FOR WOMEN: IT IS "THE WALK OF SHAME" FOR MEN: IT IS "THE WALK OF FAME"

:shock:

Victor Ibarbo Catania 0-1 Cagliari At the corner flag with no support, decides to go it alone.

Somebody needs to mix and match the FENTON!!! audio with the PATRIK!!! Audio.