Shillzz Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 I think I'm kind of at the point (long term relationship) where the wife and kids thing is started to be expected of me. There's no way that's happening any time soon, the marriage thing maybe but there's no way I can allow myself to become restricted by kids yet. Glad I'm not the only one. My previous other half (of 7 years) thought I was being unreasonable by refusing to have children before my early 30s (my late early 30s, that is) and my current girlfriend has the same kind of attitude. Bloody women! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 If I had them now, I know I'd regret it. Wouldn't want to feel like that towards my own kid but there's things I want to do first. I do want them eventually, but I'm not ready. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shillzz Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Precisely. Once i've been to all 4 corners of the world and gotten myself a stable job that, at the very least, doesn't drive insane on a daily basis, then I might think about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 (edited) It's strange, because my parents, and a great deal of that generation, had kids in their early-to-mid twenties. I'm older now than my parents were when they had me. I can't imagine having kids, in fact I never want to have kids, so it is an odd thought. I'm happy not to be in the position of having kids and a house and mortgage in my early twenties, however. Edited January 7, 2014 by CarewsEyebrowDesigner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted January 7, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted January 7, 2014 If I had them now, I know I'd regret it. I bet you woudn't, you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 If I had them now, I know I'd regret it. I bet you woudn't, you know. Well I'm sure I'd be moderately fond of them, but I'd fear I'd miss out on so much stuff that I want to do. One life and all that. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted January 7, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted January 7, 2014 If I had them now, I know I'd regret it. I bet you woudn't, you know. Well I'm sure I'd be moderately fond of them, but I'd fear I'd miss out on so much stuff that I want to do. One life and all that. True, but the fear of that is now. You might look back and say: "Pity I never got to go to Brazil", but I'll wager you'd never say: "Wish I'd gone to Brazil instead of having the kids". 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villa4europe Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 im 29, been with my missus 13 years, not married and no kids, just about to buy a house for the 1st time been engaged 10 years, have very little interest in paying £10k+ for a wedding but have equally little interest in doing it on the cheap so never bothered don't think we'll ever have kids, im from a huge family with plenty of kids to borrow at the weekend but its not often i even bother doing that i'd say its pretty acceptable among my friends but my family are constantly on to me about it, wouldn't say its the lazy reason of the gf wanting a career or anything (which i often see given as a reason for couple not having kids earlier but in reality i don't think that's the case with any of my friends) its more me than her, i cant justify the cost of either Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Precisely. Once i've been to all 4 corners of the world and gotten myself a stable job that, at the very least, doesn't drive insane on a daily basis, then I might think about it. marry a foreign lass ... pack them off * to visit her family a few times a year taking the kids with them .. travel to all 4 corners of the world simples * Tbf they like going to visit her family and spending time there so as long as I go for Easter , i get permission to go travelling in the summer 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villarule123 Posted January 7, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted January 7, 2014 There is nothing like having your own child. I was 22 when we had my daughter, all planned, and I have no regrets whatsoever. It does change you immensely though, instead of having no care for anything I'm now planning for the next 10-20 years already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 (edited) im 29, been with my missus 13 years, not married and no kids, just about to buy a house for the 1st time been engaged 10 years, have very little interest in paying £10k+ for a wedding but have equally little interest in doing it on the cheap so never bothered don't think we'll ever have kids, im from a huge family with plenty of kids to borrow at the weekend but its not often i even bother doing that i'd say its pretty acceptable among my friends but my family are constantly on to me about it, wouldn't say its the lazy reason of the gf wanting a career or anything (which i often see given as a reason for couple not having kids earlier but in reality i don't think that's the case with any of my friends) its more me than her, i cant justify the cost of either Winds me up when people say "I don't want to get married because I can't afford £10k +. It doesn't have to cost that. I had a dream wedding in Vegas for little over £3000 inc flights, venues, Caesars Palace Suite rooms, Helicopters + Champagne picnic in the Grand Canyon in my Wedding Suit and photos that I'll never get bored of looking at. Getting married in a Church when I'm not religious, standing at an altar for 45 minutes, photos in a nice - but probably rainy location - doesn't interest me, especially because that's when weddings start getting too expensive. You can get married abroad in amazing locations for very cheap compared. Edited January 7, 2014 by lapal_fan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 If I had them now, I know I'd regret it. I bet you woudn't, you know. Well I'm sure I'd be moderately fond of them, but I'd fear I'd miss out on so much stuff that I want to do. One life and all that. True, but the fear of that is now. You might look back and say: "Pity I never got to go to Brazil", but I'll wager you'd never say: "Wish I'd gone to Brazil instead of having the kids". Very much this .... I wouldn't swap my 2 for ANY of the things I've been lucky to do in life maybe it's something that happens "after" you have children , I wasn't that keen on a family when i was in my 20's but a part of me wishes i had done it a bit sooner ... I'm 43 and my knees have gone so it's hard to have a kick about with the boy for example , where as a few years earlier might have made some difference Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 im 29, been with my missus 13 years, not married and no kids, just about to buy a house for the 1st time been engaged 10 years, have very little interest in paying £10k+ for a wedding but have equally little interest in doing it on the cheap so never bothered don't think we'll ever have kids, im from a huge family with plenty of kids to borrow at the weekend but its not often i even bother doing that i'd say its pretty acceptable among my friends but my family are constantly on to me about it, wouldn't say its the lazy reason of the gf wanting a career or anything (which i often see given as a reason for couple not having kids earlier but in reality i don't think that's the case with any of my friends) its more me than her, i cant justify the cost of either Winds me up when people say "I don't want to get married because I can't afford £10k +. It doesn't have to cost that. I had a dream wedding in Vegas for little over £3000 inc flights, venues, Caesars Palace Suite rooms, Helicopters + Champagne picnic in the Grand Canyon in my Wedding Suit and photos that I'll never get bored of looking at. Getting married in a Church when I'm not religious, standing at an altar for 45 minutes, photos in a nice - but probably rainy location - doesn't interest me, especially because that's when weddings start getting too expensive. You can get married abroad in amazing locations for very cheap compared. I agree with you , £10 k for a wedding is obscene ..it's about love not how good a party you can throw surely ... I'd have happily got married by a Turkey with a ring plucked from a pigs nose if it had come down to it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shillzz Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Precisely. Once i've been to all 4 corners of the world and gotten myself a stable job that, at the very least, doesn't drive insane on a daily basis, then I might think about it. marry a foreign lass ... pack them off * to visit her family a few times a year taking the kids with them .. travel to all 4 corners of the world simples * Tbf they like going to visit her family and spending time there so as long as I go for Easter , i get permission to go travelling in the summer Yeah, basically I'd quite like to be Tonyh the second. Though i'm quite happy with my Welsh lass, she makes quite a good travelling companion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted January 7, 2014 Moderator Share Posted January 7, 2014 Does she call it travekhling? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shillzz Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Nah, she calls it, and I quote, "Getting out of this shithole for a couple of months". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted January 7, 2014 Author VT Supporter Share Posted January 7, 2014 im 29, been with my missus 13 years, not married and no kids, just about to buy a house for the 1st time been engaged 10 years, have very little interest in paying £10k+ for a wedding but have equally little interest in doing it on the cheap so never bothered don't think we'll ever have kids, im from a huge family with plenty of kids to borrow at the weekend but its not often i even bother doing that i'd say its pretty acceptable among my friends but my family are constantly on to me about it, wouldn't say its the lazy reason of the gf wanting a career or anything (which i often see given as a reason for couple not having kids earlier but in reality i don't think that's the case with any of my friends) its more me than her, i cant justify the cost of either Winds me up when people say "I don't want to get married because I can't afford £10k +. It doesn't have to cost that. I had a dream wedding in Vegas for little over £3000 inc flights, venues, Caesars Palace Suite rooms, Helicopters + Champagne picnic in the Grand Canyon in my Wedding Suit and photos that I'll never get bored of looking at. Getting married in a Church when I'm not religious, standing at an altar for 45 minutes, photos in a nice - but probably rainy location - doesn't interest me, especially because that's when weddings start getting too expensive. You can get married abroad in amazing locations for very cheap compared. It depends what you want though, surely. People might not want to get married abroad. I certainly wouldn't. I'd want it to be in the UK or maybe Ireland so that all my friends and family could be there. Those are the kinds of weddings I like attending myself and so I'd like mine to be the same. I'd guess it would cost a pretty penny for the wedding I'd like. Not that it matters, I spose my wife (whoever she might be) would get whatever wedding she wanted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted January 7, 2014 Moderator Share Posted January 7, 2014 If it's all about the session then you can always get the marriage bit out of the way in a registry office and then throw the mother of all hoolies afterwards wherever you want. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Precisely. Once i've been to all 4 corners of the world and gotten myself a stable job that, at the very least, doesn't drive insane on a daily basis, then I might think about it. marry a foreign lass ... pack them off * to visit her family a few times a year taking the kids with them .. travel to all 4 corners of the world simples * Tbf they like going to visit her family and spending time there so as long as I go for Easter , i get permission to go travelling in the summer Yeah, basically I'd quite like to be Tonyh the second. Though i'm quite happy with my Welsh lass, she makes quite a good travelling companion. buy me dinner and a few ciders and who knows you might become MrsTonyh the second Mrs H is also great travelling company , but not so great in the beer drinking and perving at scantily clad women department .... so it's also nice to have some time away from her with the lads 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 im 29, been with my missus 13 years, not married and no kids, just about to buy a house for the 1st time been engaged 10 years, have very little interest in paying £10k+ for a wedding but have equally little interest in doing it on the cheap so never bothered don't think we'll ever have kids, im from a huge family with plenty of kids to borrow at the weekend but its not often i even bother doing that i'd say its pretty acceptable among my friends but my family are constantly on to me about it, wouldn't say its the lazy reason of the gf wanting a career or anything (which i often see given as a reason for couple not having kids earlier but in reality i don't think that's the case with any of my friends) its more me than her, i cant justify the cost of either Winds me up when people say "I don't want to get married because I can't afford £10k +. It doesn't have to cost that. I had a dream wedding in Vegas for little over £3000 inc flights, venues, Caesars Palace Suite rooms, Helicopters + Champagne picnic in the Grand Canyon in my Wedding Suit and photos that I'll never get bored of looking at. Getting married in a Church when I'm not religious, standing at an altar for 45 minutes, photos in a nice - but probably rainy location - doesn't interest me, especially because that's when weddings start getting too expensive. You can get married abroad in amazing locations for very cheap compared. It depends what you want though, surely. People might not want to get married abroad. I certainly wouldn't. I'd want it to be in the UK or maybe Ireland so that all my friends and family could be there. Those are the kinds of weddings I like attending myself and so I'd like mine to be the same. I'd guess it would cost a pretty penny for the wedding I'd like. Not that it matters, I spose my wife (whoever she might be) would get whatever wedding she wanted. I got married abroad as i was living in Budapest at the time ... I'd been home a couple of weeks before and played football with my mates and caught up and sorta handed out token wedding invites to people so at least i could say with good concious I'd asked ... bugger me if 78 people didn't come from the UK .... ultimately they were all curious about Hungary and Budapest and it gave them an excuse to come So don't rule out a foreign wedding , obviously not somewhere that is going to cost people £2k each to get to though !! 12 years on and it always embarrasses me as invariably we are at someone else's wedding and it comes up in conversation about the whole 4 day trip they had and the wedding and what not .... for me it's poor form to be kinda comparing , Weddings should be like the Olympics where by which ever one you are at is always declared the best one ever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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