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WAHEY! It's a JOKE thread : Enter at your own risk.


villadude

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I was just sitting there watching TV with the wife last night, when the founder of Apple just walked in to our house and took all of our Mr Sheen!

**** Jobs. Coming over here, stealing our polish.

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I was just sitting there watching TV with the wife last night, when the founder of Apple just walked in to our house and took all of our Mr Sheen!

**** Jobs. Coming over here, stealing our polish.

Guess what....

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I was just sitting there watching TV with the wife last night, when the founder of Apple just walked in to our house and took all of our Mr Sheen!

**** Jobs. Coming over here, stealing our polish.

Guess what....

binnedunne2eb6.jpg

About 3 pages back

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A college student picked up his date at her parents home. He'd scraped together every cent he had to take her to a fancy restaurant.

Once at the fancy place, to his dismay she ordered almost every most expensive item on the menu. She ordered appetisers (everything from calamari to escargot), lobster, prime rib, champagne... the works!

Finally he asked her, "Does your mother feed you like this at home?"

"No," she answered, "but my mother isn't expecting me to suck her cock either."

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An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, "Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing" it between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbour?"

The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open"

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One Day a bright yellow toad is hopping around feeling miserable because he's not like other toads, when he bumps into the Good Fairy God Mother. He says to her "I'm unhappy! I don't like being yellow can you make me brown like the other toads?" She says "Sure thing!" and -POOF!- the little toad turns brown.... except for his cock.

He asks her why his tool is still yellow and she says "I don't do willies, you'll have to go see The Wizard of Oz to get that fixed". So off he goes...

A little while later, along comes a purple bear and asks her "Can you change me to brown? I don't like being purple and the other bears are all brown."-POOF!- the bear turns brown except for his bellend.

He says "Why is my cock still purple?" She says "I don't do willies you'll have to go see the Wizard Of Oz.

The bear asks "Where is he?" and the Fairy God Mother points and says "Just follow the Yellow Dick Toad"

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I've just watched twenty minutes of 'traffic cops' on Dave, featuring an horrific five car pile-up in which a young girl was crushed to death. After watching burly police officers in tears trying to comfort bereaved families I just had to turn the tv off and stop watching.

Well, there's not much point once you've cum, is there?

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Michael O'Leary of Ryanair goes into a Dublin pub and asks for a pint of Guinness.

"That will be one Euro, please," says the barman.

"That's a very fair price," replies O'Leary.

"Would you like a glass with that, sir?" asks the barman.

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You're queuing in Primark. Girl in front of you doesn't have her purse, to your dismay you realise you don't have yours.

SOLUTION:

Your friend towards the back offers to throw her purse to you. You can't queue jump until the purse has been thrown. Once the purse has been thrown you can quickly dodge the lass in front and confront the girl on the desk.

GIRLS: OFFSIDE RULE IN A LANGUAGE YOU UNDERSTAND! NOW DON'T INTERRUPT ME FOR THE NEXT 4 WEEKS!

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I've just watched twenty minutes of 'traffic cops' on Dave, featuring an horrific five car pile-up in which a young girl was crushed to death. After watching burly police officers in tears trying to comfort bereaved families I just had to turn the tv off and stop watching.

Well, there's not much point once you've cum, is there?

:crylaugh:

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Oh, so you're starving are you? Well stop spending my donations on annoying plastic trumpets, and buy some **** rice.

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