BOF Posted May 11, 2009 Moderator Share Posted May 11, 2009 Manchester City have announced the sale of Sean Wright Phillips today To Madonna I say old bean, I think we've seen this somewhere before! (by me) about 6 weeks ago dear god can all this I say old bean, I think we've seen this somewhere before! stuff stop, doing my head in now. They've gotta keep their post count up some way ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gingerlad Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 Manchester City have announced the sale of Sean Wright Phillips today To Madonna I say old bean, I think we've seen this somewhere before! (by me) about 6 weeks ago dear god can all this I say old bean, I think we've seen this somewhere before! stuff stop, doing my head in now. They've gotta keep their post count up some way ... LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macmahonjames Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 What did Beyonce say to the boy that lost his balloon? "If you liked it then you should've put a string on it" Taxi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qwpzxjor1 Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 What did Beyonce say to the boy that lost his balloon? "If you liked it then you should've put a string on it" I'm not sure if there's a pun on one of her songs here or not. I can't stand Beyonce. I like it for it's simplisticality (I know that's not really a word) anyway though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gringo Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Tom had been in Police work for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in northern most scotland as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there. Name's Cam, your neighbour from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night, thought you might like to come at about 5:00... 'Great', says Tom, 'after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks Thank you.' As Cam is leaving, he stops. 'Gotta warn you. Be some drinking'. 'Not a problem' says Tom. After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of em'. Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. 'More 'n' likely gonna be some fighting too.' 'Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right! . I'll be there. Thanks again.' 'More'n likely be some wild sex, too,' 'Now that's really not a problem' says Tom, warming to the idea. 'I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?' 'Don't much matter.' 'Just gonna be the two of us.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Folski Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 What's the difference between Dwight Yorke and the Israeli Army? The Israeli Army knows when to pull out of Jordan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeadlyDirk Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Its just been announced that Craig David is quitting the music scene. He's joining the Olympic 2012 Archery Team, he's going to be their Bow Selector. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gingerlad Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 You can say what you like about Peter Andre and Jordan. But at least their marriage lasted longer than Jade Goodys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gingerlad Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 I called it a massage and sex...... The police said it was GBH and rape Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted May 14, 2009 VT Supporter Share Posted May 14, 2009 Brilliant Gringo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparey16 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 some-one has just visited sickipedia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 An elderly British gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. At the French immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag. "You have been to France before, Monsieur?" the Immigration officer asked, sarcastically. The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously. "Then you should know well enough to have your passport ready." The British gentleman says, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "Impossible. The British always have to show their passports on arrival in France!" The elderly gentleman gave the French Immigration Officer a long hard look. Then he quietly explained; "Well, the last time I was here, I came ashore on Juno Beach on D-Day in June 1944, and I couldn't find any **** Frenchmen to show it to." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gingerlad Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Quality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Brilliant Rob! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Dave got really scared when he realized that his girlfriend hadn't had her period in three months... ...Then he remembered, she's only eight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Jade Goody has been portrayed by the media as a heroine for raising awareness about cervical cancer, in spite of the fact that she forgot to have a smear test. Last year, I forgot to turn off an unlit oven before leaving for work. The ensuing explosion killed my wife and three children. Was I portrayed by the media as a hero for raising awareness about gas safety? Was I ****. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 The bloke who lives next door to me is a bit pissed off, his wife has just given birth to a ginger kid, and neither he or she have ginger hair, i told him not to worry and that there must be a normal reason for this to happen. I asked him how often they have sex, to which he said "Once a year", so i said "Well there's your explanation then , you're a bit Rusty" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 What's the best thing about being a black man? You probably won't have ginger kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 In the wake of the US election, people over here are wondering if Britain is ready for a black Prime Minister. **** that. Neil Kinnock proved that we're not even ready for a ginger Prime Minister. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gingerlad Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Hmmmmm... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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