Juju Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 In todays news, it was said that the welsh mining industry cautiously optimistic, and was anticipating a possible comeback after the discovery of some copper near the top of Snowdon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthNottsVillain Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 Englishman,Irishman and Scotsman in a pub. Englishman says "My boy was born on St George's Day so I called him George" Scotsman says "What a coincidence. My lad was born on St Andrew's day and I called him Andrew" Irishman says "It's a bloody amazing coincidence. Wait till I get home and tell Pancake about all this" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted March 18, 2008 Moderator Share Posted March 18, 2008 Man goes to the doctors and says 'ive got a problem with my hearing' Doctor says 'what are the symptoms?' Man replies 'those yellow people of TV' Oh that is terrible Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted March 18, 2008 Moderator Share Posted March 18, 2008 Englishman,Irishman and Scotsman in a pub. Englishman says "My boy was born on St George's Day so I called him George" Scotsman says "What a coincidence. My lad was born on St Andrew's day and I called him Andrew" Irishman says "It's a bloody amazing coincidence. Wait till I get home and tell Pancake about all this" I like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted March 18, 2008 Moderator Share Posted March 18, 2008 I can't think of anything worse, after a night of drinking, than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they are dead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted March 18, 2008 Moderator Share Posted March 18, 2008 How does it change many dyslexics to take a light-bulb? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ikantcpell Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z' "Can you read this?" the optician asked. "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NibblyPig Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 I had a dream last night that the Bull Ring Markets had shrunk... I thought: "That's a little bazaar!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonnyBradford Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 scraping the barrel now..... Man goes into a fish and chip shop and orders a portion of fish and chips. He gets served and leaves, only to come back 2 minutes later. 'Excuse me, dont mean to be rude' but was that fish cooked ?', he says to the owner, 'Why ?' replies the owner 'Because it's eaten all of my bloody chips !' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b23avfc Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 This page made me nearly spit my tea out in laughter... for the yoofs LOL'in... and not a rude one in sight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 A drunk walks up to the host of a party and says, "'Scuse me, but do you have green toilet paper that says, '**** you?'" The host looks disdainfully at the drunk and says, "No, I don't have green toilet paper that says, '**** you.'" "Oh, then I'm terribly sorry," says the drunk, "I think I just wiped my arse with your parrot." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saturdaygig Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 A man walked into a fish and chip shop and asked for fish and chips twice. The shop guy says, 'I heard you the first time' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saturdaygig Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 I saw my old barber in the pub the other day, I said 'are you cutting hair any longer' he said 'no, I'm still cutting it shorter' I went into the barbers and said 'my hair needs cutting badly. He said 'I can do that for you, sir' I went into the barbers and said 'can you cut it round the back' he said 'why, don't you like it in here?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danwichmann Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Did you hear about the Italian war rifles going on auction? Never fired and only dropped once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ikantcpell Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 After a party, as a couple was driving home, the woman asks her husband, "Honey, has anyone ever told you how handsome, sexy and irresistible to women you are?" The flattered husband said, "No, dear they haven't." Then the wife yells, "Then what the hell gave you THAT idea at the party tonight?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ikantcpell Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 A young man working at the bowling alley with his father accidentally overturned a cart full of bowling balls. John at the snack bar looked over and saw the boy struggling to right the tipped cart. "Hey Chris," the snack bar employee said. "Forget your troubles for a bit. It's late. Come over here and try some of these new jalapeno poppers and fries. I'll help you with that cart after you eat." "That's mighty nice of you, but Pa won't like that," Chris replied. "Aw, come on, take a break for a bit," the man at the snack bar insisted. "Well, OK," the boy finally agreed, "But Pa won't like it." After eating a few of the poppers with ranch dressing and a huge plate of golden French fries, Chris thanked the snack bar worker. "I feel a lot better now, but I just know that Pa will be upset." "Nonsense," the cook said. "Where is your pa anyway?" "Under the cart." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ikantcpell Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied, "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ligs Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 How do you make a greyhound go faster? Whippet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 If the answer is "Cockrobin", what's the question? "What's that in my bum, Batman?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nrogers Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 A young English WW1 Volunteer turns up in the trenches, and reports to his CO. Officer "So young man I hear you Volunteered for war, what on earthed possessed you to do so, although very admirable, it very strange considering you were at Cambridge" Private "Well Sir, I really wanted to see how a war was fought, so badly" Officer " Well son, you've come to the right place!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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