Jon Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 Individual bank accounts then you both put an agreed (equal) amount into a joint bank account that covers bills, food shopping etc. Zackly right. It's what we do. Though she puts slightly more than me into joint account as she earns a bit more than me. But the premise is correct. We both have our own accounts for spends, and I tend to buy more of the booze due to the above. On the privacy thing, we don't have a problem at all. T'is all about trust etc. No need for snooping if you trust and love each other ... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyVillan Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 Given you end up in bed with ladies, I think she may be curious to just check up on you, and I can understand that given the circumstances. If you were not open about it, it'd be a bigger issue. I guess if you feel she trusts you but just wants to ease her mind, and you're okay with it, it's not a huge issue. Personally, I wouldn't want that. I'd let her look if she really wanted to, I've got nothing to hide. I wouldn't want to be 'checked up' on though. That would denote a lack of trust and that would be a problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyVillan Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 Individual bank accounts then you both put an agreed (equal) amount into a joint bank account that covers bills, food shopping etc. Zackly right. It's what we do. Though she puts slightly more than me into joint account as she earns a bit more than me. But the premise is correct. We both have our own accounts for spends, and I tend to buy more of the booze due to the above. On the privacy thing, we don't have a problem at all. T'is all about trust etc. No need for snooping if you trust and love each other ... Exactly, good post. Trust and honesty is so important, in my opinion. Makes almost everything in the relationship easier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blandy Posted August 14, 2014 Moderator Share Posted August 14, 2014 if only there were some way to, like, remove, messages from a phone.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vandaq Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 Single but no way I would let anyone have my passwords or try to "track" me. Come on that is so breaking the line at least for me, and the same would be if I did it against her. Either trust or nothing. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vive_La_Villa Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 I don't, and I'm not talking about Facebook, corporate or government agencies. My girlfriend goes through my phone and messages, whether I'm there or not. It doesn't bother me. I suppose she does it for peace of mind. Some of my best friends are girls and I'll often stay with them over weekends when she's working. She might be stepping up surveillance though. The GFs best friend has just rumbled her cheating husband, barely 15 months after getting married. Suspicion was aroused by him suddenly not leaving his phone about. When he finally did, during a trip to the bog, she investigated and the lies unraveled. So, do your other halves investigate what you're up to? Are they open about it, or do you just suspect that they do? Nearly cost me my marriage. Safe to say I use my phone for nothing now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 Vive La Villa you were playing away? You dirty dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ender4 Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 i've been married for a few years. Wife doesn't know any of my passwords to anything and i don't know any of hers. We don't check each others phones or emails or FB. We trust each other. We have a joint bank account which both our incomes go into. We both have credit & debit cards which pay out of the joint bank account. I don't question anything she buys, she doesn't question anything i buy. We trust each other to spend sensibly. Obviously, it helps that we are comfortable so don't need to budget spending. It works well for us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 (edited) Sounds like you have the perfect marriage. Desperate housewives and all that. Edited August 15, 2014 by Voinjama Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Designer1 Posted August 15, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted August 15, 2014 i've been married for a few years. Wife doesn't know any of my passwords to anything and i don't know any of hers. We don't check each others phones or emails or FB. We trust each other. We have a joint bank account which both our incomes go into. We both have credit & debit cards which pay out of the joint bank account. I don't question anything she buys, she doesn't question anything i buy. We trust each other to spend sensibly. Obviously, it helps that we are comfortable so don't need to budget spending. It works well for us. Exactly the same set up that the wife and I have and it's worked a treat for nearly 20 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ender4 Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Sounds like you have the perfect marriage. Desperate housewives and all that. If that refers to the TV prog, then i'm not sure what it implies as i've never seen it. Can you even be married and not trust each other fully? Surely that would lead to separation? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morley_crosses_to_Withe Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 If my missus went through my phone/emails then I'd be **** angry. It's not just about trust either: it's about private conversations that I have with my friends that she shouldn't be party to. Let's say a friend tells me something in confidence over text message, why should she get to read that!? If that friend wanted to tell her whatever it was then they'd fricking text her directly, but as they probably don't want her to know she shouldn't be reading their messages to me. There's also the image that some people present to her, it should remain untainted. Some of my friends might not want her to know that they're a filthy lech who has certain vices - whether that be gambling, drinking, womanising or drug taking. I don't want her to know some of my friends are like that either. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vive_La_Villa Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Vive La Villa you were playing away? You dirty dog. Worst thing is I didn't get chance to! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 If my missus went through my phone/emails then I'd be **** angry. It's not just about trust either: it's about private conversations that I have with my friends that she shouldn't be party to. Let's say a friend tells me something in confidence over text message, why should she get to read that!? If that friend wanted to tell her whatever it was then they'd fricking text her directly, but as they probably don't want her to know she shouldn't be reading their messages to me. There's also the image that some people present to her, it should remain untainted. Some of my friends might not want her to know that they're a filthy lech who has certain vices - whether that be gambling, drinking, womanising or drug taking. I don't want her to know some of my friends are like that either. Exactly this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donnie Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Hold on you sleep in the same bed as other females and a) you dont try to get a leg over and your missus is cool with that?? Im surprised your gf is cool with that. Would you mind your gf sleeping in the same bed as other lads, mates or not?? Fair play you can get away with it. Ive just mentioned to my gf that I want to go away this year alone to Kazakhstan as she is broke and i can't keep paying for her, and she has just hit the roof saying its weird I want to go away alone and if I do its over. Biatches are crazy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Hold on you sleep in the same bed as other females and a) you dont try to get a leg over and your missus is cool with that?? Im surprised your gf is cool with that. Would you mind your gf sleeping in the same bed as other lads, mates or not?? Fair play you can get away with it. Ive just mentioned to my gf that I want to go away this year alone to Kazakhstan as she is broke and i can't keep paying for her, and she has just hit the roof saying its weird I want to go away alone and if I do its over. Biatches are crazy! Tell her to pack her bags and leave! Not your fault she's not earning! She can't hold you back bro.. get out there and explore! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donnie Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Hold on you sleep in the same bed as other females and a) you dont try to get a leg over and your missus is cool with that?? Im surprised your gf is cool with that. Would you mind your gf sleeping in the same bed as other lads, mates or not?? Fair play you can get away with it. Ive just mentioned to my gf that I want to go away this year alone to Kazakhstan as she is broke and i can't keep paying for her, and she has just hit the roof saying its weird I want to go away alone and if I do its over. Biatches are crazy! Tell her to pack her bags and leave! Not your fault she's not earning! She can't hold you back bro.. get out there and explore! I know your right but I been with her for close to 5 years, its tough to walk away. I always lived by the 'bro's before hoe's motto but now all my mates settled down or moved away its tough to live by that motto now and be anything but a pussy whipped biatch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 I was only being facetious mate, but I have a friend in the same situation. He earns about £60k and his missus earns around £15k and he accepts that he pays more in terms of food, bills etc, no problem with that but he's just fed up that if he wants a holiday he has to pay for her as well. She spends all her money on spray tans, nails, haircuts etc. She hardly contributes.. he's already paid for her to go away twice this year and she wants another holiday and expects him to pay. I told him he's on a loser there and a slipperey slope downwards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donnie Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 I was only being facetious mate, but I have a friend in the same situation. He earns about £60k and his missus earns around £15k and he accepts that he pays more in terms of food, bills etc, no problem with that but he's just fed up that if he wants a holiday he has to pay for her as well. She spends all her money on spray tans, nails, haircuts etc. She hardly contributes.. he's already paid for her to go away twice this year and she wants another holiday and expects him to pay. I told him he's on a loser there and a slipperey slope downwards Mine isnt as bad as that. Its me who wants to go away all the time and I do pressure her alot to be fair as I need at least 5 trips abroad a year feel sane. Tbf she is constantly broke because of this as she does make an effort to pay as much as possible towards each trip even though she would rather save. But im at the stage now financially and mentally where im ready for the Tony H lifestyle of going to more exotic places like Kazakhstan, taiwan, Cuba, etc as well as my regular euro trips with her but she aint happy about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 I was only being facetious mate, but I have a friend in the same situation. He earns about £60k and his missus earns around £15k and he accepts that he pays more in terms of food, bills etc, no problem with that but he's just fed up that if he wants a holiday he has to pay for her as well. She spends all her money on spray tans, nails, haircuts etc. She hardly contributes.. he's already paid for her to go away twice this year and she wants another holiday and expects him to pay. I told him he's on a loser there and a slipperey slope downwards Mine isnt as bad as that. Its me who wants to go away all the time and I do pressure her alot to be fair as I need at least 5 trips abroad a year feel sane. Tbf she is constantly broke because of this as she does make an effort to pay as much as possible towards each trip even though she would rather save. But im at the stage now financially and mentally where im ready for the Tony H lifestyle of going to more exotic places like Kazakhstan, taiwan, Cuba, etc as well as my regular euro trips with her but she aint happy about it. Taiwan! Was researching that last night! Looks good and cheaper than HK. Thinking of combining it with S Korea for a winter trip (sorry.. veering off topic!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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