maqroll Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 About 6 weeks ago, my father was complaining about feeling run down and lethargic, with unusual aches and pains. Fast forward to now, he's dropped 45 lbs, and has been diagnosed with Stage 4 small cell lung cancer. Without chemotherapy, he was given about 6 weeks to live. He's begun chemo now, and his doctor says it'll add about 6-9 months to his life. We always knew this could happen, as he's smoked cigarettes for over 50 years. Now it's reality. And it's ugly. They say at the very end stage, the lungs fill up with fluid, and you drown, basically. Hopefully that can be avoided somehow, but the whole thing is a disaster. Has anyone here known anyone who has dealt with this? Any advice is appreciated, feel free to PM me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dodgyknees Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 Not had that experience, I just want to say I am really sorry to hear and I hope VT will rally round if you need support. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villaguy Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 Sorry to hear, hope he defies those dates. My father has Alpha 1 deficiency which has reduced his life expectancy by 20ish years by giving him quickly deteriorating lung capacity, if he smoked he would have gone a while ago now. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StigVillan Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 I'm very new here, so forgive me intruding. But I simply wanted to wish you and yours all the best. I can't even imagine. I wouldn't want to. God bless mate. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 **** hell mate I'm really sorry to hear that, it's one of them where you don't know what to say because there is no happy outcome. I just wish all the best for you and your family mate, as a smoker I know how tough it can be to quit, I often think about cancer and shit like that but still end up reaching for another smoke, it really is horrible. Having said that he could start cooking meth, it worked well for Walter White for a while 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 P.S. I didn't mean the last bit to come across as insensitive I was just trying to put a little bit of light on a horrible situation 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowychap Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 (edited) Shite news about your dad. Edited October 13, 2013 by snowychap Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tegis Posted October 12, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted October 12, 2013 Awful news mate Thoughts are with you 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 Sorry to hear that man .......**** Cancer 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted October 13, 2013 Author Share Posted October 13, 2013 Cheers guys, yes it's a crap state of affairs, no way around it. The ferocity of it has been absolutely surreal. Really scary stuff. The chemo treatment will slow it down and has let us all catch our breath to a degree. Now we can can take our time in basically saying goodbye, and he can too. It won't be easy, because he's my best friend.But he's 73, and has lived about 10 years longer than I used to think he'd live. He lived hard. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StigVillan Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 (edited) All the best again mate. Hope his last months are some of his best. Edited October 13, 2013 by StigVillan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markavfc40 Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 (edited) Really sorry to hear this. Went through it last year with my mother in law. She was 54 and had smoked 25-40 a day for best part of 40 years. I wish I could say otherwise but it was heartbreaking to watch. Unfortunately by the time she was diagnosed it had already spread to her bones and she lived for 4 weeks. I know it sounds stupid but if your dad has got 6 - 9 months left take the positive from that. My wife especially would have given anything to have been able to do little things like go out for a meal with her mom, have a holiday or just a few days away. Try and make the time left as enjoyable as possible and spend as much time with your dad as you can and try as much as possible to not let the cancer be the focus. There is no point kidding there is a happy ending but this is the hand that has now been dealt. Embrace every moment you have left with your dad and don't think too much about what lies ahead. You will get through that when it comes. I would recommend this site http://www.roycastle.org/. Good advice, a forum and some really positive stories on here as well. I genuinely feel for you. I lost my dad to cancer 11 years ago and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him and wish I could spend even an hour with him again. Make the most of the time left with him mate even if it is simply being together. All the best. Edited October 13, 2013 by markavfc40 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8pints Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 All the best to you, him and all your family. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dont_do_it_doug. Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 Sorry chap. I have absolutely no advice for you other than to say make the most of every, single, **** second you have left together. (It's at times like this that the swear filter is a bastard nuisance) You say he's lived hard, how do you mean? Stories please... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thetrees Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 My old fella was 85, and turned down chemo as he didn't see that feeling like shit for 3 months was worth the life extension. That was for prostate rather than lung though. I am sorry for your old fella, for you and for your family. There will be moments in the coming months (hopefully a relatively long way forward) where you question why society allows human beings to go through such suffering, where an animal would be given a peaceful and dignified end. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCforever1991 Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 Best wishes mate, just enjoy the time you have together! Make the most of it 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted October 13, 2013 Author Share Posted October 13, 2013 Sorry chap. I have absolutely no advice for you other than to say make the most of every, single, **** second you have left together. (It's at times like this that the swear filter is a bastard nuisance) You say he's lived hard, how do you mean? Stories please... Most of the stories end at the bottom of a bottle... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted October 13, 2013 Author Share Posted October 13, 2013 Really sorry to hear this. Went through it last year with my mother in law. She was 54 and had smoked 25-40 a day for best part of 40 years. I wish I could say otherwise but it was heartbreaking to watch. Unfortunately by the time she was diagnosed it had already spread to her bones and she lived for 4 weeks. I know it sounds stupid but if your dad has got 6 - 9 months left take the positive from that. My wife especially would have given anything to have been able to do little things like go out for a meal with her mom, have a holiday or just a few days away. Try and make the time left as enjoyable as possible and spend as much time with your dad as you can and try as much as possible to not let the cancer be the focus. There is no point kidding there is a happy ending but this is the hand that has now been dealt. Embrace every moment you have left with your dad and don't think too much about what lies ahead. You will get through that when it comes. I would recommend this site http://www.roycastle.org/. Good advice, a forum and some really positive stories on here as well. I genuinely feel for you. I lost my dad to cancer 11 years ago and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him and wish I could spend even an hour with him again. Make the most of the time left with him mate even if it is simply being together. All the best. Thanks Mark, I'll check that site out. Sorry to hear about your dad too. And thanks for your advice, it means a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thetrees Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 One other thing, If there are things that you want to say, say them. Don't wait for the right moment, because the jump from them being there to not being there is immediate, even though they may live for quite a while longer. The last words my Dad spoke were (to me) "Ah well, you tried" as I attempted, and failed, to help him with something while he was in the hospital, something that my wife or mother would have found so easy. It doesn't haunt me, in fact I smile about the words, but if you had told me then that he would never speak again, I wouldn't have believed you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StigVillan Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 It's tragic how many people cancer impacts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts