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Smoking Will Kill You


maqroll

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If you live long enough there's a good chance of developing cancer but usually it's late on in life not to cut the life too short. Found out in the last few days that one of my ex's lost her brother in 2009 to cancer and then less than 2 years later her mother died to the same cause. Her brother was 29 and the mother 53, must have been so hard for the family to deal with two young deaths. I never saw my Grandfather, he died in his 40's came back from the war in Burma to be diagnosed with a brain tumour, spent the last 6/7 years of his life blind. My mum said she was pleased to see him die as he was in so much misery at the end, before the war he was a lecturer at Liverpool University, his life was ruined.

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  Best wishes maqroll.My father was a chain smoker, and he was diagnosed as having lung cancer, and unfortunately it brought his life to a premature end at 62.

 

 What i would say, is i was 23 at the time, and felt i had'nt had enough good times with my dad.As someone said earlier, make the most of your time with him, and tell him how much you love him, and how important he has been to your life.

 

 My Dad was an intelligent man, knew the dangers of smoking, but made that choice, i don't think he had any regrets.All my memories of my Dad are happy memories, and hopefully you will have such good memories of your Dad as well maqroll.Make some more good memories, best wishes.

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About 6 weeks ago, my father was complaining about feeling run down and lethargic, with unusual aches and pains. Fast forward to now, he's dropped 45 lbs, and has been diagnosed with Stage 4 small cell lung cancer. Without chemotherapy, he was given about 6 weeks to live. He's begun chemo now, and his doctor says it'll add about 6-9 months to his life.

 

We always knew this could happen, as he's smoked cigarettes for over 50 years. Now it's reality. And it's ugly. 

 

They say at the very end stage, the lungs fill up with fluid, and you drown, basically.

 

Hopefully that can be avoided somehow, but the whole thing is a disaster. 

 

Has anyone here known anyone who has dealt with this?

 

Any advice is appreciated, feel free to PM me.

 

 

My ex wife's mom died of it last year. Horrible way to die. my sympathies lie with you and with your mom.

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My old man was 76 when he was diagnosed in 2000, although we had a sneaking suspicion he already knew and was keeping it from everyone. Poor old bugger had it running right through him like some insidious, vicious scourge and its heartbreaking now to think how he went through those horrible chemo treatments, when he must have been fully aware that for him it was too little too late. I still regret never getting him to Normandy to visit his mates left behind in the War Graves cemeteries.

 

It was hard to watch, it has to be said. But at the end, I would say there was some sense of relief that there was no more pain and in a strange way I felt closer to my old man than I ever had. He's gone, but I find myself having the most obscure recollections of our times down the Villa together and all the yarns he could spin of following the claret and blue from when he was a boy. Thats how I remember him best and fondly so.

 

Its a connection and one I find fills me with a heartwarming sensation now. So, I understand and share your pain right now, but take what you can from what bonds you to your father and keep it close to your heart.....it really does help. 

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So sorry to hear this Maqroll.

 

Had an uncle die of lung cancer. We were fairly close, but at the end he was ready to go. I hope and expect it'll be the same for your dad.

 

It's obviously hard to put yourself in that position, but if it were me I'd want to be reminded that smoking might be the cause, but that it was something enjoyable for many years. I wouldn't want to be regretting anything.

 

Try to get them to give him lots of diamorphine when things get tough. Diamorphine = heroin, which I'd imagine would take the edge off a lot of the nastiness.

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I lost my old man to cancer last year.

 

Spend as much time as you can with him. Dont miss the chance.

 

My dad ended up in a hospice towards the end, we would all take it in turns to make sure one of us was with him 24/7. I spent one whole night with him, just him and me, he wasnt completely with it at the time and we spent the whole night scratching scratchcards (that didnt exist) and talking crap with each other. Looking back that was the night I really got to say goodbye to him and am so glad I was there.

 

Sorry to hear about your dad mate, dont waste what time you have left.

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Thanks guys, it's amazing how VT can raise my spirits when I'm feeling down. I appreciate all your comments and stories and PM's. Crazy how cancer is so insidious and has touched so many people. It's good to know I can lean on my VT mates.  :thumb:

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Sorry to hear this.

I happened to have the World Service on earlier and they were trailing a programme called Bucket List, about things a journo with cancer wants to do before she dies. On at 8.06 (now) and 17.06 and on iplayer later. Might be of interest. Shown in the schedule as The Documentary.

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It's tragic how many people cancer impacts.

 

1 in every 3 people die of cancer. It's scary stuff. My uncle is in the same boat, terminal cancer with chemo giving him 6-9 months extra to live. Cancer's a bastard. I hope your dad doesn't suffer and enjoy's his remaining days.

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Sorry about your loss. Cancer is a bastard what ever form it is. 3 years ago a good mate died from liver cancer. Didn't smoke and just had the occasional drink, died within 9 months of being diagnosed only 22.. I'm trying to quit smoking and last 2 weeks been on the e cigs and seems to be doing the job, slowly weening myself off smoking altogether

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Sorry about your loss. Cancer is a bastard what ever form it is. 3 years ago a good mate died from liver cancer. Didn't smoke and just had the occasional drink, died within 9 months of being diagnosed only 22.. I'm trying to quit smoking and last 2 weeks been on the e cigs and seems to be doing the job, slowly weening myself off smoking altogether

 

That's a very smart things to do, its understandable that people say who are 50 +  smoked because there were little health warnings when they were young. But nowadays knowing what they do to you its difficult to understand why young people do it. I gave up when I was 21.

Edited by PaulC
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terrible news mate, I lost my gran to cancer, she brought me up from when I was born and its fair to say I was a grannys boy, she had bowel cancer in her 50s which she survived but was left with a colostomy bag and she had countless problems from that, then 10 years later she got leukemia which she fought hard for many years but in the end the countless bouts off chemo and everything else took its toll, she also had a major heart attack bought on my the treatment she was having to have, I loved my gran so much but after watching her suffer for so many years I did find peace when she passes away and I know she did aswell, death effects people in many different ways but I hope you and your family also find peace when your dad passes, it will be very upsetting obviously but its no life living the way many cancer sufferers live, I am very proud of my gran how she carried on the way she did, she was hard as nails and although she was in a lot of pain she just got on with life, an absolute inspiration she was, hopefully one day we will beat cancer, anyway all the best mate and stay strong for the old man

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I have no words to describe how truly disgusting that disease is and my hate for it.  The fact that it's devastation touches so many lives has to be a huge regret for humanity and I really hope our generation sees some form of cure.

 

Maqroll I have tremendous sympathy for your situation.  With me it wasnt lung cancer but pancreatic that affected our family as it took my mother in law about 3 and a half years ago.  From diagnosis (and this is basically a check up as she was feeling sick and the first we knew she had anything) to death was 56 days.  She went into hospital on day 35 just to see what medication she could take (by then we knew it was only palliative care that she could have anyway not cure but even so were expecting 6 months) and never came out.

 

My wife spent 3 weeks at her mom's bedside basically and god knows how we managed as we had two kids and one under 12 months old and had to keep that going,  and work as well.

 

On the discussion about timescales I'm torn.  Yes my wife would give anything for just 1 hour more with her mom but at the same time the fact that it was so quick can also be a godsend really,  no time to think too much.  All I would say chap is make sure you fill every minute,  say everything you want to.  I said stuff to the mother in law,  but do regret not saying everything.  I guess I just couldn't accept what was happening to her and just thought she'd get better some how.  Even now I just cant believe I'll never see her again,  I say to my wife that I only knew her mom for a relatively short time and I still to this day have trouble grieving so god knows how she is coping.

 

I guess I'm not helping that much mate but all I'm trying to say is enjoy every moment, if you can.  Take memories of your Dad now and not at the end once that hateful disease has had its way.

 

Thoughts are with you chap and your family.

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Maqroll, my deepest condolences mate. FWIW, I can empathise with your situation. In 2004, my mum went into hospital complaining of a stomach ulcer - the next day she was told she had aggressive stomach cancer and was given 6 months to live.

It was a battle she couldn't win, yet she chose to fight it with radiotherapy. Ultimately however, 6 months later she was gone at the age of 59.

My thoughts are with you pal and try to enjoy the time you have left with your old man as it will mean the world to you both.

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like many have said i have real sorry to hear this tragic news, this forum might be the pits sometimes with villa related things but this thread makes your realise how good the VT community is offering their best wishes as well as sharing ethir own experience.

 

i also want to wish you all the best in future, make his time as treasurable as possible and dont regret anything

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duadenum cancer took my dad last february, he was diagnosed and we were told what it was on the friday evening and he died at 3:20am on the following monday, we were still digesting the shock of finding out he'd got it and then he was gone. At least you have a few weeks/months to come to terms with the idea that your old man is going away for ever, not that it will make the feeling any better when it happens, but at least you have the time that i didnt have and you can do the things that i couldnt do, dont waste it, you will only regret it if you do.

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