A'Villan

I think it's great that you think a lot. To be able to ruminate shows the ability to analyse and comprehend which inevitably leads to understanding. Introspection is fundamental to self awareness. So don't stop using your noggin. Just be kind to yourself, like you are to others. Self awareness is not about identifying your faults and casting judgements over yourself, check those judgements at the door. It is the ability to stand apart from ourselves and assess our thinking, motives, actions, habits, tendencies and history. You are a runner. You shouldn't fear starting lines or new beginnings, you take them on all the time. Hell, I wish I had the commitment to run as far as you do. I bet you didn't start off running the distance you do these days though? And hey, for what it's worth, a disappointment that makes you humble is worth more than a success which makes you arrogant. You didn't luck into your relationship. I woman was bold enough to express her interest in you because she liked you, she left herself vulnerable to rejection in doing that. Sometimes the reason good things are not happening to you is because you are the good thing that needs to happen to other people. Maybe it's your turn to take that leap of faith and take a shot at something or someone that interests you again, in your own time, when you're ready. Fear and anxiety around rejection or failure in general needs to be acknowledged, especially when there is a feeling of shame associated. Shame is not like feeling bad about our actions, or feeling bad about our efforts, shame makes us feel bad about who we are. Shame eats away at our egos, our identity, our self esteem and sense of emotional well-being. Before you know it you are more motivated to avoid failure than you're motivated to succeed. So bringing these emotions to the surface is a good thing, otherwise you may express them unconsciously through self sabotage.

The Milwaukee Bucks are potentially going to be the best placed team in the NBA at the end of the regular season this year. Step forward Wes Edens.. Took them from an all time franchise low, which was low by all means, to a playoffs campaign within one year. They have gone from strength to strength. They appointed an untried coach who turned out to be successful. As for the Thierry Henry comment, Monaco underwent massive changes, losing key players. Fabinho, LeMar, Mendy, Moutinho.. And we don't (well, I don't) even know if Henry was first choice over Smith, or if he was simply party of the discussion.

We are the 21st team in the league for goals conceded and yet we are 4th best in the league for goals scored. Go figure. If they were what determined league standing we'd be one place out of relegation on one hand and two places from automatic promotion on the other! We are also 1st in the division for most points recovered from a losing position. Which is a remarkable statistic and here's why.. Between 2009 and 2016 in the Premier League, 70% of matches were won by the team that scored first. 70%! Top four teams would only lose around 6% of games where they score first, whereas bottom 4 teams would only win 6.5% of games they conceded first in. We have scored the most goals in the first 15 minutes of matches for the division. We are also 8th for first goal scored in games. So what gives? Why are we 13th in the division when we are league leaders in so many of the vital areas of the game that determine victory? Answer? We concede for fun. Whether it's a tactical problem, individual error or just dumb luck it's what's holding us back from promotion. We are the 4th worst team at conceding in the first half and 6th worst for conceding in the second half. The good news? We are ticking all the boxes for a side that belongs in the promotion places. Can't see how just yet? It's simple. We are league leaders in nearly every vital category for what determines victory and success for a team. Only 6.5% of the time a relegation candidate will come back from a losing position to win. We are the best team in the division at coming back from losing. That is the sign of a top team, especially considering 70% of matches are won by the team who scores first. Our downfall is that we are giving up 1.56 goals per game and that means that for all our effort that would normally have us in promotion placing, we are midtable instead. The bad news? We are one of the worst teams in the division defensively. Not just because we concede unfortunately, most key areas we are relegation material. If Smith could even get us to being an average defensive unit, we'd be looking at automatic promotion.

Well I wholeheartedly disagree and I believe in you! I must've come across as a bit out of touch and maybe even insensitive. I didn't mean to say that you don't try or that there is a degree of 'fault' that lays with you. What I wanted to express is that above all else your mindset and heart will determine whether or not you can accomplish something. That's the truth of it. Einstein said that insanity is doing the same things repeatedly and expecting different results. Think about that. Wouldn't this apply to our attitudes and beliefs too? No matter how deeply entrenched certain feelings that you have learned to identify with become, it is possible to overcome them and form new relationships to the world. You might have to dig deep, but digging deep is how you unearth the gems. So you say your value is proven? You are obviously an intelligent man and I don't doubt your powers of observation. So let's say it is. Does this mean it's immutable? Perhaps you have stumbled on a partial truth, one that only casts light on a glimpse of your being, and not the whole. Because you are not all knowing, are you? For the reason that you are not all knowing we can safely assume that your version of reality does not account for all that was, is and will be. Wisdom tends to grow in proportion to one's awareness of one's ignorance. Can I please finish by saying I am not trying to undermine your experiences in life and I empathise with what you've expressed. But I got to tell it to you like I see it, and in this case that means that I believe that despite any evidence or 'proof' to suggest otherwise, you can do the unthinkable. Civilisation was based upon creation. Bringing something into existence. Maybe that's tapping into a talent you never knew you had because it wasn't nurtured as needed. Every invention ever imagined was at one point just an idea, but through trials, errors and disappointments an understanding was developed and eventually it came to be.

Yes! It's refreshing to see someone talk about the lack of integrity in the world without fear. It's not surprising Carlson didn't even remain dignified when responding to the scrutiny he received from Bregman. Spoilt brat. Corporate media is the rich telling the middle class to blame the poor. Editorial independence at FOX News? my ass!

We see it differently. Personally I don't see performances as being as poor as you do. I see growing pains and a difficult competition. You mention luck going in our favor against Birmingham, yet you overlook our misfortunes of similar nature in other games. Why? My guess is because you don't feel our performances were worthy of a result? Only you can answer that one. I'm more focused on the side of our game that is a glowing reference for Smith being the guy we want him to be. To add to my post above on where we stand in regard to ball usage and defensive disciplines: 5th in the league for shots per game. 4th for shots on target per game. 6th for possession percentage. 1st for most fouled team. 1st for goals from set pieces. 8th for goals from open play.

As I said above, I don't really advocate PUA as a good source for healthy and successful relationships. Too many 'alpha obsessed' toxic egos that take the fun out of it. The Game as a story wasn't even entertaining for me. I don't get down with PUA all that much but I read the game on recommendation from my brother. It's nothing special. However his follow up book Rules of The Game is a practical day-by-day challenge to enhance your social skills and in particular confidence with women. Worth the read. Putting things into action and throwing yourself into new situations is how you learn, and that's what this book is designed for. Basic confidence building.

It's been more than 2 or 3 games though, hasn't it? Results may be left wanting, sure, I agree. We lost 3-0 to Brentford and 3-1 to Barnsley at this time of year under Bruce in his first year. Smith's worst championship defeat has been 3-0 to Wigan. Yet somehow that equates to 20 'crap' performances. Two 3-0 wins over Derby and Boro is better than Bruce achieved by this time in his Aston Villa career. Who says Smith has to prove it from day one by the way? You? The board may have different ideas. As far as I'm concerned he's shown promise. We are easily one of the best ball playing sides. People get frustrated when their expectations and wants aren't met and make uncalled for or inaccurate commentary. We all do it. However it is in no way a reliable insight as to whether or not Smith will succeed as Aston Villa manager.

Our standing in each category per game for the division: 2nd worst record for interceptions. 3rd worst for tackles made. 3rd worst for passes blocked. 4th worst for shots blocked. On the ball though we are 1st for accurate passes per game as it stands. We have the 4th best record for key passes played per game. 6th best for successful dribbles per game 6th best for accurate short passes and the least amount of inaccurate short passes per game. Edit: As you can see, we are one of the divisions better performers with the ball. This would explain lower totals for defensive tasks per game than other sides, as we have to defend less. However we are consistently poor in most, if not all, categories for defense. Whether we are seeing this due to a systemic issue or individual players not carrying out their duties is up for debate. In my opinion it's a combination of the two.

If you look at in depth analysis from our last two fixtures the only place we come up short is on the scoreboard. Over 60% possession with over 80% pass completion. More shots. More dribbles at a higher success rate. More duels won. More corners etc. The list goes on.

I am not talking about his original book. I didn't get much value in reading that. I am talking about his instructional 30 day challenge book. Not to be taken as bible, just to break down some barriers. Take what serves, leave what doesn't.

I wonder how some relationships survive in a healthy manner when the two people who make the partnership can't trust one another. It is a choice though. I don't want to come across as rude or out of place in saying this, but relationships require effort, that includes dating. I get the impression you underestimate yourself and as a consequence you don't have the motivation to develop yourself. I'm not calling you lazy or saying you're in need of drastic improvement, I'm suggesting that your emotions and mentality toward dating might be holding you back. I normally don't advocate PUA because so many men in that community are lost. However I think you would benefit greatly from reading Neil Strauss' Rules of The Game. Don't worry about tinder or online dating too much. I know a guy who has dated model after model but can't get a match on tinder. It's superficial for the most part. I've had dozens of matches on tinder and very few bother replying, I'm guilty of it too, sometimes I'd rather not respond to a message from a complete stranger. It means nothing my friend. What matters is that you have the self esteem and self awareness required to cope with opportunities when they arise and likewise the disappointments. Nothing seems easy when you are a novice and that's because there is a lack of understanding and direction. Even 'natural' talents make blunders, especially early on. If you continue to identify as an eternal novice then you won't ever take the steps necessary to learn and become something greater than you are now. I would also recommend Steve Biddulph's book Manhood. Please disregard my posts if they don't resonate with you. I hope I don't come across as condescending or conceited because I am merely trying to offer some perspective to hopefully assist you. From one student to another.

Just being able to acknowledge that reasons aren't always obvious for how things turn out shows a lot of intelligence and insight from where I sit. When I was in the midst of it all and trying to make sense of the upheaval in my life, a psychologist told me, "It's okay not to know sometimes". And it's true. You come across as someone who has a generous and kind spirit. It takes courage and effort to be open and vulnerable with other people, so kudos to you. One problem we have in the world today is that the stupid are so sure of everything and the intelligent are uncertain about themselves. I hope the days where you struggle to tread water are not like that due to doubts about self-worth. You do make a difference.

Staring at a screen, especially in a dark room, is a recipe for disaster if you're trying to fall asleep. Try mindfulness meditation. I copped a bit of flack for bringing it up earlier in OT but it's doing a lot of good in this world. St. Vincent's Hospital Addiction Medicine department has models of therapy based on it. And that's working with drug dependency like Heroin, Alcohol, Meth and Cocaine. Changing habits is tough, but it's about recognising when you're on auto-pilot and doing things that don't serve you.

All the best with your situation. Sleep is so vital to functioning as I'm sure you're aware. Have you tried working out? Physical exertion could be a good addition to the routine. Well said NV. Seems like you're on top of things and I really hope that is reflected in your feelings and life in general. The vibe I got from @dubbs post was that respite from external factors is what's causing the bog. I never took medication for depression or anxiety and it came to pass for me. Sometimes sh** happens to good people and you just can't catch a break. That goes on long enough and it's no wonder people get down.

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Some medications can take up to months to see notable change. Has your treating doctor given you any insight as to when to expect change? I'm with you though, I wouldn't of thought a drug used predominantly as an anti-depressant would be all that effective for treating insomnia. I know they are highly addictive and you've mentioned your thoughts on them elsewhere but could something like Diazepam be a short term fix? I was suffering in a similar fashion some years ago and a fortnight of Diazepam allowed my sleeping pattern to return to normal and helped in some other areas too. The only downside was that once the script ran out I contacted my psychologist to ask my psychiatrist to write me another script! Thankfully the clinic didn't do repeat scripts for drugs of addiction. But point is it was a very efficient short term solution for me.

The documentary Senna about Ayrton Senna was brilliant. That's been the extent of my interest in F1. I've done a bit of go-kart racing if that counts.

The two are mutually exclusive for me. I could probably learn something from my Grandparents. They ran a cleaning business for the most part. They came to Australia as immigrants with nothing and no connections, now sitting on a property worth 2 million and sold another for over a million back in 2009.

These are my next pair of basketball shoes.

I haven't been watching City but I would of thought their back-line is as good as any. Kompany didn't even make the starting XI.

Seems like you had the infamous K-Hole experience. How much did you take? Surely more than a point. K-Hole (if you weren't familiar) is like greening out from weed. Might be stating the obvious but have you discussed or even tried different medications with your doctor? Could be worth a shot. MDMA was also in the discussion for treating depression. I could definitely see how that would work. Ketamine not so much. I'll be reading up on that.

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