AJ

So... he is being compared to a wife beating alcoholic?

Archer. Underrated but very very funny.

Is all this hatred for Gabby because he got fat? I really want to be sure of this.

After 500 something posts, I made my first thread.

There has been a slight mention of biographies released throughout the threads, particularly Joey Barton, Roy Keane and Alex Ferguson. I am curious which past or present players, or personalities people would like to see release their biographies, and like to see get to tell their story. This thread will also provide the chance to discuss already released biographies. I have read both of Roy Keane's books, and that is probably the only football biography I have read. I enjoyed the second one more, as in the first one, he does come across as a bit of a dick. In the second one, he seems to realise this, and it comes across a lot more humble. He also says some things about Villa which to me seemed pretty accurate. To be honest, I am not a big fan of biographies. I understand it is important, but the early days back story can be a bit dull, and you just wish they would hurry up and cut to the chase. You know what I mean. " I grew up in Fartsville and lived on Tourette St with my boring family which I will hardly mention again and I had a pet donkey named Susan who was killed in a tragic wheelbarrow accident blah blah blah....." Sometimes the interesting things about footballers could be summed up in a 10 minute one on one interview, without raping half of the Amazon forest to find out that they hate runny poached eggs. Anyway, here is my list. Mark Bosnich. Gabby. Steve Bruce. Martin O'Neill. Paul Lambert. Each one for various reasons. Also, if I find Joey Barton's book, I will read it.

I love Bozza. I wish he never left Villa. He made some terrible mistakes, but he went through his period of soul searching and redemption, and now he is an excellent pundit, and he is still to this day passionate about Villa. If he wrote a book, I would buy it. Sorry ( Off topic)

A guy picks up this bird and takes her back to his place. After a few minutes of pashing on the bed, he stands up and says " I think a storm is coming". She has no idea what he is on about. He starts slapping his hands on the wall. " There's the thunder!" he bellows. He quickly starts flicking the light switch on and off. " Here's the lightening!" he yells. He moves between slapping the walls and flicking the light switch, then grabs a watering can, and sprinkles it on the girl. " And there's the rain!". The girl is shocked, but she is curious as to where is this going. He picks up the pace, moving between the walls, the light switch, and the watering can. " Thunder! Lightening! Rain!". She notices he seems to be picking up pace, and the honest truth, he is driving her crazy. She can't take it anymore. " Come here you crazy stud! Take me! Take me now!". The man stops still, and stares back. " What? In this weather?"

Yeah, I know, right? I cant figure it either. There are a percentage of fans which are glory hunters, but I never really got why they are popular here. Could be a number of reasons, but it is good to see that they are football fans. In Australia, there is too much competition of sports referred to as football, and football is the 4th most popular behind AFL, rugby league, and union, but it is steadily growing. Depending on where you grow up, or what code you follow, people here tend to get a bit "tribal" over which code they follow.

They are quite rare in Australia. When I was living in Brisbane, I would go down and watch the games at " The Pig and Whistle", a British pub in the city. There it was obvious which were the popular teams. Spurs, Whammers, and Liverpool had the biggest gatherings around their respective screens, while the local Villa fans, consisting of about 4 of us, watched ours quietly. Nowadays, whenever anyone finds out I am a Villa fan, they would say something like " Oh, you poor bastard." or something to that effect. I just smile at them and say " Its alright. We'll be back".

Would I run out of likes if I liked every post on this thread?

1. Brisbane, Australia, but because of my job, I move around the country every 2 - 3 years. 2. Brisbane Roar ( Meow) 3. Back in '98, I entered a national Premier League fantasy football comp, and I started watching games. I became hooked on football. It eventually evolved in which I was looking forward to seeing Villa play, curious to how well they were going, and just hoping that they would do well. From this subtle invasion into my psyche, I had realised I had become a Villa fan. I still think today that I didn't choose Villa, but Villa chose me.

Deduct 50 million points

The " filler" episodes are natural, as they are being quite parallel to the comics storyline. Expect more slow episodes until Rick and everybody gets off their asses and starts sorting their shit out. I am predicting it will pick up in the second half of the series. In the meantime, just hang in there...

Of course my opinion is media based, as yours is. It depends on the information that we take in, and that is the beauty of individual opinions. Even though our opinions are at opposite poles, I will respect yours. Neither of us have met Mr Barton, so who knows, I may be pleasantly surprised, or you could be horrified if we got the chance. Anyhoo, I consider the debate over. Pat Murphy ( that media guy) said he wasn't coming.

" Hmmm. Nike or Adidas? I see Samsung are moving into sporting goods now. Their balls come with a little cartoon mouse wearing a fez on it, so that has sold me. Lets order 500, just for starters." Tim Sherwood. Director of footballs.

Don't they mean Director of footballs?

Yes, nothing to do with anything like that. Everything to do with him being a total asshat during his time there.

Acknowledged, Mark, he did do a good job at Burnley without becoming a circus. However, at every other club he was at, he has done very stupid things, which has caused harm to the club he was at. There are many more safer options out there, without installing a ticking bomb in the dressing room. Him walking out of Rangers with the coffee machine indicates he still has a fair amount of petulance about him. If we do decide to roll them dice and hope that everything works out, can we afford it if it comes up snake eyes?

Never met a tit I didn't like.

Firstly, there are plenty of midfielders that will walk into our side, that don't come with the gamble of him touching up his own team mates, or being a disruption whenever he doesn't get his own way, whether it is on twitter or by just being a general tool. So if he punches on with a Villa player, would you still consider him an asset? Secondly, he doesn't do crunching tackles. He is an over rated dickhead that suffers from small man syndrome. A new midfielder is no good to us if he is sent off and suspended, then blames everyone else.

1st chance - July 2004. Causes mass brawl in a pre season " friendly" with Doncaster Rovers. 2nd chance - December 2004. Stubs a lit cigar into Jamie Tandy's eye at a Christmas do. Tandy is a wife beating scumbag, but that's another story. 3rd chance - July 2005. Punches on with a 15 year old kid in Bangkok during a pre season tour. 4th chance - May 2007. Punches on with team mate Ousmane Dabo at training. Receives a 4 month suspended jail sentence and a 12 match ban. 5th chance - December 2007. Arrested in Liverpool for assault and picking fights. In jail for a week, causing him to miss games for Newcastle. 6th chance - November 2010. Punches Blackburn's Pedersen, and receives a 3 match ban. 7th chance - May 2012. Last game of the season against his old club. Elbows Tevez, knees Aguero, and tries to headbutt Kompany, all in the one f***ing game. Receives a 12 match ban. 8th chance - June 2012. Involved in a fight while on the piss in Liverpool. 9th chance - September 2016. Punches on at training with Andy Halliday. Released from Rangers, and he takes the coffee machine. Bastard. He has had more than his fair share of second chances, and this not including him dropping his dacks, or his twitter bullshit. You may say he has done his time, I would rather hope his time is done. Its time for him to jog on.

He might be a good player, but he is a 34 year old man child. Every club he has been to he has caused disruption, usually by punching his team mates. I will get in before all the posts saying " I hope he punches Gabby/ Westwood/ Some other random Villa player I don't like" posts, and say I don't want him anywhere near our players. Any level of team chemistry and/or cohesion will be gone. The best thing I hope for Joey Barton is that he signs for small heath, and helps them on their way to implosion.

Coffee machine > Westwood > Barton Opinion formed by someone with poor fashion sense. I wear a cap with chinos.

I would rather an inanimate carbon rod than Joey Barton.