mottaloo

Normally I'd agree with you and i usually trot out the reply "yeah, give me £50 and I'll do it !" but this girl is something else. I usually go in to verbal wibble mode when i speak to her.

Whilst out the front, trimming my lawn, my rather yummy mummy neighbour pops out to her car and says : "Ooh ! If I pop open my back door, will you do mine !?" I had so many witty/saucy quips bouncing around my head at that point.....but no, all i squeaked back (in a kevin and perry scared virgin way) was : "Er...hahaha yeah, ok...i love grass, cos its SO green !" I put it on this thread cos despite my crap reply, her offer on such a sunny day really did raise my erm...spirits and cheered me up !

When i discovered i had testicular cancer, after i had the operation and got back on track with my life, i joined the "ballstocancer" instagram page....all part of my education in to this condition. Anyway....they are promoting their xmas ball (excuse the pun) where amongst the celebs attending will be Louis Emerick (he of brookside fame), Tommy Cannon (i presume Bobby Ball didn't feel it was appropriate to attend !), some singer or two off the TV I've not heard of. Fair enough, but then......fanfare please.....none other than Dee Kelly will also be there. Who ?! Yes, exactly. "White Dee from Benefits Street", if you please !!! It's only £40 a ticket and for a good cause but.....Dee Kelly ????? Famous for......erm.....effing and jeffing whilst slumped on her sofa as she scoffs her 3rd pizza of the day ?! I'm now waiting for Ronnie Pickering and the Wealdstone Raider to be announced next !

@Xela.....sausage meat......lunch box......where's my kenneth williams pic when i need it !?

@Xela - there's a few rooms above the shireland pub available for rent. Handy for the city. Not really handy for your diet though !

The "instant" chat option on the my sky app. It's been 2 days now since i asked if removing golf and F1 channels would reduce my subs. Simple you'd like to think right ? Not really. I've messaged about 4 different people and each time i get an eventual reply from them, it's someone new so they ask me the same questions even though it's all in the history. Latest update was someone asked me to confirm my security question answer......then....an hour later i ask what is happening.....their reply - "I'm finishing my shift now so I'll put you back in the pool for the next staff member to pick up your query" You just couldn't make it up.

Not directly but as fans be it through the turnstiles or in their armchair you will be paying more in many ways; match tickets, merchandise, catering, tv subscriptions and so on. I'm not picking on you as i see your point to a degree and overall, football has hardly ever been value for money - not at the higher levels anyway.

I remember looking at my dad in sheer disbelief when he said that he was literally bored to tears after watching us lose at home to arsenal (when terry neill was their manager, late 70s/early 80s - mike pejic played that day...) He came over from Ireland in the late 50s and went to villa one week and sha the next, mainly to see the likes of Preston Bolton Blackpool Stoke or whoever had great players at that time. 35 yrs later i can totally see what he meant. Mediocrity served up by overpaid prima donna types is often seen as class and the word "legend" has lost it's true meaning. £18m for a rocket polisher like Andre Gray.....much more of this and i too could be done.

You've put that thought in my head now...... .....and it won't go away ! I hate you (I don't really hate you x)

Talked myself in to it pretty much, that's why I'm pissed off. I could hear myself thinking out loud almost arguing with my conscience. God knows what the shop assistant thought who to her credit wasn't pushy at all.

Going in to the local currys determined to just look at new tvs, no more than 49" and £700 only to walk out an hour later spunking £1200 on a 55" that'll totally dominate my front room. I'm so weak sometimes. I hate myself at times like this

Fair enough.

Where did he go to 2nd half (the burger van under the expressway is a given !) ? Hardly saw him

Before anyone has a pop at me, yes i know there are folk out there with low self esteem/confidence issues or those who are genuinely unlucky but i have known at least 6 women I've worked with or I've known socially that keep on picking d1ckheads and then sit there, scratching their arses in disbelief when it happens again. Yes, of course i - as a nice guy, who's feelings went unrequited - have a biased opinion on this but sometimes you have to be a special kind of stupid to allow yourself to be in that position more than a couple of times !

Ah yes...reminds me of the oft used phrase I've heard over the years : " I don't go looking for bad boys; i just end up with one (woe is me !)" Goes out with bad boy > gets treated like sh1t > dumps/gets dumped > vows never ever to date a bad boy again >.....well, you know what happens next... ...and repeat.

Once again, i find cause to use this pic :

Half of me feels sorry for the Doc; that the team can't repay his faith and money invested by winning more. He seems like such an enthusiastic chap, making himself available to the fans via twitter and no doubt on matchdays for a quick pic or autograph. Then the other half of me pipes up and says that you don't become a successful businessman without being ruthless now and again with the odd bollocking and sacking dished out. I just want the team to prove to the Doc that we ARE worth sticking with.

"You're such a good friend !" Five words a smitten lad never wants to hear from a hot girl they fancy

One thing that gave me encouragement was elmo and his crossing abilities and how often he looked up to cross. Kodjia cannot come back soon enough for me.

Exactly. Where the feck was he 2nd half ?

Yeah, it's about 15 mins away and my hindu neighbours are frequent visitors for a takeaway. I really should pop up there and soon, esp now I've seen that pic

That looks freakin amazing dude ! When you go for a grill you sure don't waste too much detail on the side salad I'm so proud of you right now, almost in a ghey way

Prob is that the 72yr old has never heard of DHUTWU....unless i showed her Yeah some of the profiles make themselves out to be ball breaking bitches, esp the ones who are in senior/executive mgt roles. Then there's the high maintenance princesses who honestly believe they can bag george clooney. Sure, there's a few blokes on those sites just as vacuous like you say. You'll be fine dude. A bit of patience that's all.

@Stevo985 - after reading about the stag weekend I'd want to dropkick him in to the nearest canal and I've never even met him !

I signed up to one for a 6 months' trial last month. A few observations: 1. I'm 52. Sure I'd love a younger model but am realistic. The amount of 60yr+ women message me is amazing. 72 was the oldest ! 2. A few contact me first, surely indicating they want to start the ball rolling. However, this week alone 3 have blocked me after my first reply and I've said nothing creepy (yet) ! 3. It's either feast or famine. I go days without any visitors and then bam ! I get 4 or 5 messages in 48 hrs. 4. I'm no Bradley Cooper i admit but the number of absolute mooses that try it on has now got me thinking that's all who'd be interested in me. 5. I admit i have written a few very witty messages and i get the most bland and boring replies back. 6. I dont want to see pics of their dog, fave holiday destination, a glass of prosecco. I want to see pics of YOU, preferably without those filter apps that make your face thinner, eyes big like bambi or those fckin stupid mickey mouse ears ! Don't let me put you off trying it but take a deep breath and dont let your BP rise too much with some of these indecisive, frustrating and drab women on here, some of whom really have a few bob on themselves.