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The Bowler's Holding the Batsman's Willey


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#1 snowychap

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Posted 10 August 2008 - 11:30 AM

Greg Thomas, of Glamorgan, I think.

Ah, was it?
In that case, I'll have to withdraw my last line about never playing again. :D

I liked this 'sledge':

"F*** me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here? There's no way you're good enough to play for England."
Mark Waugh to man mountain Jimmy Ormond when the Surrey fast bowler got a rare chance to shine on the international stage.
"Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family."


Maundering here and maundering there.

#2 blandy

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Posted 10 August 2008 - 11:16 AM

One of my favourite cricket anecdotes (maybe apocryphal) is regarding a young fast bowler for Hampshire (shall remain unnamed as I have never heard his name mentioned).
The young fast bowler was making his debut for his county and on a rather quick track was bowling with real fire and venom.
After taking his first wicket, he thought that he'd rough up the next man in.
He duly bowled a very quick bumper next ball and after the ball had whistled past the batsman's nose (the batsman had swayed out of the way of the ball), he approached the batsman and said:
"It's small, round and red."
He turned on his heels and marched smartly back to start of his run up and stormed in again.
The ball was short and quick. The batsman rocked back, swivelled on his back foot and middled the ball out of the ground.
He looked up at the amazed bowler and said, "You know what it looks like. Go, fetch it!"

An hour or so later after the batsman had made a quick 80 and seriously dented the figures of the young bowler, he approached his captain as the dismissed batsman was leaving the pitch.
"Who's that?" said the bowler.
"Viv Richards," replied the skipper.
"Who?"

He never played again. :winkold:


Greg Thomas, of Glamorgan, I think.
slightly OT, but Simon Hughes book "A whole lot of hard yakka" has some cracking sledging quotes in it. Unfortunately I lent it to someone who then lost it, otherwise I'd go and rummage some out.

The mad kid had 4 lights, the average is 2.5 lights The mediocre has 2 lights, the sign of genius is three lights. There's one light left, that's the one light. That's the science law.

#3 blandy

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Posted 10 August 2008 - 11:11 AM

That Harry Gratian story:

Apparently HG and Archie McPherson were doing a World Cup radio commentary involving Bulgaria. HG had religiously learned all the players' names, but AM had decided he couldn't be arsed, and furthermore when he got to the commentary box he was pissed - and he was the main commentator. HG was not impressed and in a bit of a sulk.

So the commentary went something like:

AM: "And it's the Bulgarian number six, to.... er, number eight. Bulgaria's... number ten takes it up... he shoots... and scores!!!"
(covers mic up and hisses to HG: "Harry, quick, what's the name of the Bulgarian number ten?")

HG: "I don't bloody know. Sod off".

AM: "...AND SODOV SCORES FOR BULGARIA!!!"

:clap:


I listened to that commentary in a Hotel ( The Victoria I think) in St Leonards on sea when I was on business.

Scotland, I think, got through. It was in the early to mid 90s - I don't remember the exact phrase (Sodov), but I do remember the confusion over who scored and thinking about 1 minute later "did I just hear what I thought I heard?"

Weird how you remember stuff like that.

The mad kid had 4 lights, the average is 2.5 lights The mediocre has 2 lights, the sign of genius is three lights. There's one light left, that's the one light. That's the science law.

#4 R.I.C.O.

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Posted 10 August 2008 - 10:26 AM

Murray's classic "Mansell is staring at him through his earpiece" gets me every time. Koogan's St Etienne line at WC98 was also a gaffe of the highest order.

WE GO AGAIN WE GO AGAIN WE GO AGAIN WE GO AGAIN WE GO AGAIN WE GO AGAIN WE GO AGAIN WE GO AGAIN WE GO AGAIN WE GO AGAIN WE GO AGAIN WE GO AGAIN WE GO AGAIN WE GO AGAIN WE GO AGAIN WE GO AGAIN WE GO AGAIN WE GO AGAIN WE GO AGAIN


#5 sled

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Posted 10 August 2008 - 09:53 AM

BBC commentator Alan Gibson, who ended up getting the sack for being permanently pissed, had this to say about the New Zealand fast-medium bowler Bob Cunis:

"This is Cunis at the Vauxhall End. Cunis, a funny sort of name: neither one thing nor the other."

:cry: a shame

Robert Smith Cunis (born 5 January 1941 in Whangarei; died 9 August 2008 in Ruakaka) played 20 Test matches for New Zealand. His son Stephen plays cricket for Canterbury. Test Match Special commentator Alan Gibson once commented, "This is Cunis at the Vauxhall End. Cunis, a funny sort of name: neither one thing nor the other."[1]

R.I.P. Bob Pent

Not many people know that.

#6 PaulMcgrathsknees

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Posted 05 August 2008 - 10:21 PM

Recital by the owner of the gaffe

For those that didn't know!

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#7 mjmooney

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Posted 05 August 2008 - 03:10 PM

That Harry Gratian story:

Apparently HG and Archie McPherson were doing a World Cup radio commentary involving Bulgaria. HG had religiously learned all the players' names, but AM had decided he couldn't be arsed, and furthermore when he got to the commentary box he was pissed - and he was the main commentator. HG was not impressed and in a bit of a sulk.

So the commentary went something like:

AM: "And it's the Bulgarian number six, to.... er, number eight. Bulgaria's... number ten takes it up... he shoots... and scores!!!"
(covers mic up and hisses to HG: "Harry, quick, what's the name of the Bulgarian number ten?")

HG: "I don't bloody know. Sod off".

AM: "...AND SODOV SCORES FOR BULGARIA!!!"

:clap:

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#8 paddy

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Posted 05 August 2008 - 01:23 PM

"There is nothing wrong with the car except that it is on fire." is a classic Murray Walker but I think my favourite is still that one on the link I posted earlier:

"Linford Christie's got a habit of pulling it out when it matters most."

"If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or fight like hell."

#9 mjmooney

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Posted 05 August 2008 - 12:50 PM

Can anybody remember who the BBC radio commentator was at the 1970 World Cup when Geoff Astle missed that sitter?

He came out with something like: "...and Astle MUST score! (stunned pause) Awwww, he's only **** MISSED it..."

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#10 mjmooney

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Posted 05 August 2008 - 12:46 PM

Wasn't there once one by Coleman at the Olympics one time when he said about some runner that he "opened his legs and showed his class" :D

It's always attributed to Coleman, but it was actually Ron Pickering, commentating on Alberto Juantorena winning the 400m final in the 1976 (Montreal) Olympics:

“And there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class.”

I remember watching that live and pissing myself laughing.

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#11 Hev

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Posted 05 August 2008 - 12:14 PM

Wasn't there once one by Coleman at the Olympics one time when he said about some runner that he "opened his legs and showed his class" :D

#12 bickster

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Posted 05 August 2008 - 12:14 AM

If you go to the Johnners website, then look for gaffs and giggles, you will find recordings of a few, one of them is Johnners in conversation talking about it (not the actual commentary itself), in the conversation he ays even he doesn't remember saying it BUT he does remember the lady that wrote in to complain about it. It would appear from that Paddy, that no recording exists of it

As an aside it does have an actual recording of the Johnners / Aggers giggling fit when they were commentating on how a certain batsman managed to get himself out hit wicket, when aggers said something like "He just couldn't manage to get his leg over". Wortha listen in itself


#13 paddy

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Posted 05 August 2008 - 12:00 AM

It's 100% genuine I've certainly heard it played on radio shows over the years and I've also read Johnston's biography which of course mentions the story along with the "getting his leg " over line

It's one of those moments like Dancing Matt that brings a genuine smile to your face and makes you forget your troubles


The leg over one


Yep its definitely mentioned in the Autobiog

For me Cricket died a little when Johnners left the commentary box for the last time


Can you see if you can find it on the internet for me then? As I can't find it anywhere and even the BBC site says it's quite possibly not true and there's no recording of it.

I, like you, was sure I'd heard it, but I'm now beginning to think I can't have done.

"If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or fight like hell."

#14 BOF

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Posted 04 August 2008 - 11:24 PM

Not a bloody clue Paddy and I'm in a tiny minority too :)


#15 ianrobo1

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Posted 04 August 2008 - 07:33 PM

the true great Johners

I never thought I'd see that kind of praise from you about an old Etonian 'posh' 'un, Ian. :winkold: :lol:


well I never knew that but he was agreat commentator

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#16 snowychap

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Posted 04 August 2008 - 07:31 PM

One of my favourite cricket anecdotes (maybe apocryphal) is regarding a young fast bowler for Hampshire (shall remain unnamed as I have never heard his name mentioned).
The young fast bowler was making his debut for his county and on a rather quick track was bowling with real fire and venom.
After taking his first wicket, he thought that he'd rough up the next man in.
He duly bowled a very quick bumper next ball and after the ball had whistled past the batsman's nose (the batsman had swayed out of the way of the ball), he approached the batsman and said:
"It's small, round and red."
He turned on his heels and marched smartly back to start of his run up and stormed in again.
The ball was short and quick. The batsman rocked back, swivelled on his back foot and middled the ball out of the ground.
He looked up at the amazed bowler and said, "You know what it looks like. Go, fetch it!"

An hour or so later after the batsman had made a quick 80 and seriously dented the figures of the young bowler, he approached his captain as the dismissed batsman was leaving the pitch.
"Who's that?" said the bowler.
"Viv Richards," replied the skipper.
"Who?"

He never played again. :winkold:

Maundering here and maundering there.

#17 snowychap

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Posted 04 August 2008 - 07:21 PM

the true great Johners

I never thought I'd see that kind of praise from you about an old Etonian 'posh' 'un, Ian. :winkold: :lol:

Maundering here and maundering there.

#18 Qwpzxjor1

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Posted 04 August 2008 - 06:42 PM

A true classic, but I dont think it's as good as 'Oh isn't that nice... the wife of the Cambridge captain is kissing the cox of the Oxford team.'

#19 mjmooney

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Posted 04 August 2008 - 06:29 PM

Funnily enough I was talking about this last week. Here at Bradford University the Chancellor is Imran Khan, and he was in town to present degrees at the graduation ceremony. One of the honorary graduands was "Look North" (and Yorkshire sports) presenter Harry Gration, and his acceptance speech was basically a series of jokes and sports anecdotes (including a rather good one about Archie McPherson that I'll save for another occasion).

Imran had to follow this, and he's clearly not the most witty speaker in the world - so he rather desperately rolled out the old "Holding/Willey" story - to be met by an embarrassed silence. The older members of the "audience" had heard the story SO many times it was no longer funny... and the younger ones clearly didn't understand it at all, and (I suspect) took it semi-literarally, with some shock!

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#20 bickster

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Posted 04 August 2008 - 06:24 PM

It's 100% genuine I've certainly heard it played on radio shows over the years and I've also read Johnston's biography which of course mentions the story along with the "getting his leg " over line

It's one of those moments like Dancing Matt that brings a genuine smile to your face and makes you forget your troubles


The leg over one


Yep its definitely mentioned in the Autobiog

For me Cricket died a little when Johnners left the commentary box for the last time





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