All-Purpose Religion Thread

[legov]

Let he that is without sin cast the first stone.

 

 

Can you imagine something like that working in real life?

 

 

Supervisor: You're a lazy fat ****, you're fired.

 

Me: Let he that is without sin cast the first stone.

 

Supervisor: **** off

 

 

In reality the Pharisees would probably have stoned Jesus himself. On the spot.

 

Ooh right magic wand

Edited June 18, 2013 by legov

[Paddywhack]

 

Having to **** pray at school was the worst.  

 

I was once given a strong word by a teacher because I didn't stand up and pray at the start of class. They said I was creating an atmosphere. From that day on I stood up, walked to the window and commentated on football matches on the pitches outside. They would be half-way through an our father and I would say something like 'red card, referee!'.

 

 

Looking back, it's mad thinking what I was taught in school. I seem to remember being taught Noah's Ark as if it was fact.

 

I'd love to ask my 9 year old self my feelings on religion and god, because I really can't remember what I thought at that age. 

[legov]

 

 

Having to **** pray at school was the worst.  

 

I was once given a strong word by a teacher because I didn't stand up and pray at the start of class. They said I was creating an atmosphere. From that day on I stood up, walked to the window and commentated on football matches on the pitches outside. They would be half-way through an our father and I would say something like 'red card, referee!'.

 

 

Looking back, it's mad thinking what I was taught in school. I seem to remember being taught Noah's Ark as if it was fact.

 

I'd love to ask my 9 year old self my feelings on religion and god, because I really can't remember what I thought at that age. 

 

 

Would you say your experience is similar to that of the average Brit? Raised religious, then drifted away as adulthood came along?

[Paddywhack]

 

 

 

Having to **** pray at school was the worst.  

 

I was once given a strong word by a teacher because I didn't stand up and pray at the start of class. They said I was creating an atmosphere. From that day on I stood up, walked to the window and commentated on football matches on the pitches outside. They would be half-way through an our father and I would say something like 'red card, referee!'.

 

 

Looking back, it's mad thinking what I was taught in school. I seem to remember being taught Noah's Ark as if it was fact.

 

I'd love to ask my 9 year old self my feelings on religion and god, because I really can't remember what I thought at that age. 

 

 

Would you say your experience is similar to that of the average Brit? Raised religious, then drifted away as adulthood came along?

 

 

That's the strange thing, I wasn't raised religious at all, I wasn't even christened. My school wasn't any kind of religious school either, but we had to sing hymns everyday and learn about Moses and Adam and Eve etc. I think we had to recite 'the lords prayer' before eating too.

 

It still happens today I believe, my fiancée is training to become a Primary School teacher at the moment and non-religious teachers still sit round every morning with mostly non-religious pupils singing about how great Jesus is. It's crazy, really.

 

I think that's probably the average Brit's experience too, but I could be completely wrong.

[legov]

That sounds barking mad

[mjmooney]

Yep, same here (many years earlier, obviously).

 

State schools (no church affiliation), but default Xtianity. Hymns, Bible readings and prayers in the school assembly every day. Plus "scripture" lessons.

 

It's bad enough that parents feed that stuff to their kids, without schools doing it.

[Wainy316]

"Thank you lord for our good dinner amen".

[bickster]

Muslim woman rings our office today to ask if we could send her a female driver, we refused (against company policy, equal opportunities for all driver regardless gender, race etc) but enquired why they needed a female driver (in case they'd had a bad experience with a previous driver) to which she replied that everything previously was fine it was just that there were four women travelling and none of them was allowed to sit in the front if a man was driving... *slight pause or WTF moment*

We then offered, to send two cars, to which we got the reply "for the price of one?"

Er no for the price of two

Then we got accused of discrimination

My brain then went into irony overload

[limpid]

Exactly so. And there's some quite nice writing in there, much of which was improved further by translation.

 

And some made much worse. Like "Fuller's soap".

[villaajax]

Watching "The Big Questions" they've got a bunch of religious nuts on to discuss religion. This can only go well.

 

There is a white witch on in his dressing gown. His name is Kevin

Edited June 23, 2013 by villaajax

[CarewsEyebrowDesigner]

That show is hilarious. I remember watching an episode that centred around religious education and all the nutters were in tears, fearing those durn atheists wanted to brainwash their kids.

[CrackpotForeigner]

 

Let he that is without sin cast the first stone.

 

 

Can you imagine something like that working in real life?

 

 

Supervisor: You're a lazy fat ****, you're fired.

 

Me: Let he that is without sin cast the first stone.

 

Supervisor: **** off

 

 

 

For me the casting the first stone thing is one of the few really brilliant teachings(!) of Jesus, or whoever claimed to have quoted him.

 

The workplace thing isn't really a perfect analogy. The stones are assumed to be cast by social peers, rather than by people who kindof have an assumed right to dictate behaviour since they're presumably paying you money to behave in the way that they require.

 

When you see some of the punishments meted out to so-called adulterers and blasphemers in Pakistan, etc. and you know that most of those dishing out the judgements are far from perfectly-behaved themselves, ol' Jesus starts to sound like a humane and sensible fellow.

 

(And anyone who hasn't watched the stoning scene in Life of Brian should really make a point of doing so. "Look, I had a marvellous supper and all I said to my wife was 'That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehova'" ) 

Edited June 23, 2013 by CrackpotForeigner

[legov]

 

 

Let he that is without sin cast the first stone.

 

 

Can you imagine something like that working in real life?

 

 

Supervisor: You're a lazy fat ****, you're fired.

 

Me: Let he that is without sin cast the first stone.

 

Supervisor: **** off

 

 

 

For me the casting the first stone thing is one of the few really brilliant teachings(!) of Jesus, or whoever claimed to have quoted him.

 

The workplace thing isn't really a perfect analogy. The stones are assumed to be cast by social peers, rather than by people who kindof have an assumed right to dictate behaviour since they're presumably paying you money to behave in the way that they require.

 

When you see some of the punishments meted out to so-called adulterers and blasphemers in Pakistan, etc. and you know that most of those dishing out the judgements are far from perfectly-behaved themselves, ol' Jesus starts to sound like a humane and sensible fellow.

 

(And anyone who hasn't watched the stoning scene in Life of Brian needs to make a point of doing so. "Look, I had a marvellous supper and all I said to my wife was 'That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehova'":)) 

 

 

No no, I agree with the general sentiment espoused by the statement.

 

But spouting that phrase in real life, in a heated situation, would never work like it did in the Bible. (yeah the Pharisees returned later in the story, of course, but the woman being stoned was saved. That wouldn't have happened under real-life rules I think.)

Edited June 23, 2013 by legov

[mjmooney]

Well in real life you wouldn't say: "Let he that is without sin cast the first stone" (or for that matter "Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye" - Matthew 7:5).

 

You'd say: "Well YOU'RE a fine one to talk, pal".

 

Same thing.

[CrackpotForeigner]

Well in real life you wouldn't say: "Let he that is without sin cast the first stone" (or for that matter "Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye" - Matthew 7:5).

 

You'd say: "Well YOU'RE a fine one to talk, pal".

 

Same thing.

 

Yeah, although in some countries to this day people who are not without sin are encouraged to cast actual stones at others to punish them for awful deeds such as committing blasphemy.

 

Saying "You're a fine one to talk" just doesn't cut as deep imo. I'm off to become a Christian...

[legov]

Well in real life you wouldn't say: "Let he that is without sin cast the first stone" (or for that matter "Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye" - Matthew 7:5).

You'd say: "Well YOU'RE a fine one to talk, pal".

Same thing.

And in most cases you get a purple eye as a result

[legov]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwUZOZN-9dc

 

If anyone's got an hour to spare, this is pretty interesting.

[CarewsEyebrowDesigner]

Told a religious family member that I played the ouija board and they went on to say every piece of bad luck I had was caused by playing the ouija board and even when I said 'I only played it last week' they shook their head as if I were a lost cause.

 

Then I told them I never have played it because I hate board games and they were daft as a bloody brush.

 

Same family member went on about ghosts and the occult for a while and started hounding some young ladies about being on the side of the holy spirit, at which point alcohol got the best of me and I said her belief system makes as much sense as a dick in the ear.

 

Family, eh.

[Wainy316]

 I said her belief system makes as much sense as a dick in the ear.

 

 

Any hole's a goal.

[CarewsEyebrowDesigner]

Gandhi's famous last words.