Let's leave the fiction in the Film thread...
I know there's no chance, the idea is to hurl out whatever mad thing comes to mind because it's twitter bollocks. Rationalization optional. For example: twit implies it's a signing that would be viewed as important, that has some degree of notability. Kiyotake, while notable on here due to his thread about JulieB, probably wouldn't be one to catch the average non-VT eye, meaning we have to think a bit bigger. We know the policy is to sign young players with potential, so index all promising "big" names under ~23. We know we won't be offering huge wages, so exclude players at big $$$ clubs. We know we'd need to have some draw, most likely the quality of the league and PL's "project", so probably can exclude the better German, Spanish, Italian clubs. It's Villa, so exclude Brazil in its entirety.
Now we start looking for dodgy ways to make positive connections. The national buddies line of reasoning is very helpful here. We have, for instance, Benteke, who is Belgian. However, many of the Belgian "names" are already at bigger clubs and/or would demand a larger fee than most believe we'd pay, so perhaps unlikely. We have, however, brought in two well-regarded Danish prospects this window. Hmmmm, yes, yes, it quickly becomes obvious, plain as day. Who is under 23, is widely considered to have great potential and would be viewed as a major buy for us, plays in a league with less prestige, would be on lowish wages, isn't Brazilian and is, in fact, Danish? Voilà, Christian Eriksen.