The Moustache of Teale

It's just got to happen, even if he only plays a bit part. The club was toxic and negative last season. Even if we don't manage to offload the negative influences, who aren't fit to tie Stan's boots, the positivity brought by his presence will outweigh all that. A bit like atom science in school, we'll move from having a negative charge to having an overall positive one in just one single move. I hope that the likes of Lescott, Richards, Gabby and co. take a long hard look at themselves and feel ashamed. The word 'inspirational' just doesn't do Stan justice.

Let's remember this was Grinder - any one of us could have scored. Sorry, I meant Grazer...

I hope your webcam wasn't switched on this time Mr Grantham.

Tell you what, I'd love it if we signed him. Just had a cracking season with Leicester.

Has someone been playing games with his Wikipedia page? It has his current club as Beddlington Terriers and refers to him playing for Rotterdam ladies. Splendid. Open main meWatch this pa Personal information Full name Jesús Gámez Duarte Date of birth 10 April 1985 (age 31) Place of birth Fuengirola, Spain Height 1.82 m (5 ft 11 1⁄2 in) Playing position Right back Club information Current team Bedlington Terriers Number 2 Youth career 1997–2000 Fuengirola 2000–2004 Málaga Senior career* Years Team Apps† (Gls)† 2004–2006 Málaga B 40 (1) 2005–2014 Málaga 266 (1) 2014–2016 Atlético Madrid 24 (0) 2016- Bedlington Terriers 0 (0) National team 2005 Spain U23 4 (2) * Senior club appearances and goals counted for the domestic league only. † Appearances (goals) Jesús Gámez Duarte (Spanish pronunciation: [xe'sus 'ɣameθ]; born 10 April 1985) is a Spanish professional footballer who plays for apart Rotterdam ladies mainly as a right back. He spent most of his career with Málaga, making his debut with the first team in 2005 and going on to appear in 293 official games. E

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I agree. Poor last season but was surrounded by utter dross. With the right players around him I reckon he can do a decent job in the Championship. As one of our English contingent who wasn't a total knobhead there are loads I would want to leave ahead of him. Anyway, I reckon Burnley will struggle to match his £100k a week salary.

BMW then.

I can add nothing insightful or learned to this Aaron Tshibola debate other than an anagram of his surname is 'lob a shit'. Or, 'a shit lob' if you prefer.

You keep pressing 'return' before you start typing?

flatter to deceive phrase of flatter 1. appear promising but ultimately disappoint. I really can't see how he ultimately disappointed. Highly impressive goal scoring record in a poor side, and on his day he was an absolute beast for us.

They also held their own in the Premier League whilst we finished with one of the most embarrassingly low points tallies for years. So man for man they're a lot better than our current shower of shite. I'd happily buy from any team if it improves us and gets Richards, Lescott & co out the door.

I'm sure Paul McGrath will want him to stay, so I'm confident on this one.

Just Eat. Wow. I would just love to see Agbonlahor in a Derby County kit next season.

Is that you Tommy Elphick?

The one in the picture was specially commissioned for Jeremy Beadle.

Assuming you mean the disease and not Michael? The two on the right look like miniature versions of Paul McGrath and Pacal Chimbonda so things are looking up, if you'll pardon the pun.

I always think that teams are blunted as an attacking force when centre backs are used as full backs. They are usually competent defensively but lack the natural instinct to get forward to support attacking play, knowing which runs to make etc and crossing is not usually a strong point. I'll overlook this for the legend that is Olaf Mellberg who acquitted himself admirably when playing right. And Earl 'The Pearl' Barrett who was mainly a centre back when we signed him but made right his position at Villa. But for me, Okore is no full back.

Does that picture give a clue that we could be signing Shaun Wright-Phillips next?

I didn't realise Agbonlahor had grown a beard.

So, just to clear things up, you're not that keen on any of them?

Indeed. I could tackle but was absolutely b*llocks at every other aspect of football. And I never made it past the South Birmingham Sunday League.

If he can do nothing but tackle and win the ball he sounds like the antimatter version of Paul Scholes.

This was the scene moments earlier...

Landed at Birmingham International just now: