HanoiVillan

I think you can absolutely guarantee that we won't score.

On the contrary, I think Stevo is right and the scoring is slightly lower than in recent years, especially 2 seasons ago which was the season when everybody captained Suarez every single week because he always scored at least a brace. This season there has been a lack of reliable captaincy picks. For reference, 2 seasons ago I scored 2,109 points and finished in 610,297th place overall. This season I've currently scored 1,627 points so far, which is on track for 2,060 points total, yet I'm (just) inside the top 100k overall.

Have you considered trying to interview that ktvilla lady? If she would agree to being interviewed it would be a very powerful message. Of course, it would be even more powerful if she agreed to a video interview, but maybe that's ambitious.

You were on the road to recovery at one point!

Ah, okay, I misunderstood re: Stark.

Ah, I wondered what had happened to you. There's only a few people on the VillaTalk league that I can actually identify, of which you are one, and I remembered that not long ago we were on exactly the same score and then when I came to look for you a couple of weeks ago you were on the second page or something, 50 points back. I think you might have had a better last couple of weeks than you maybe realise, you're certainly back on the first page anyway!

Yeah, I much prefer it to FPL, I'm far more invested in it.

Okay, got it! Though I still say 'LOL' makes more sense than 'GOAT'. 'LOL' came about with the rise of instant messaging. Lots of people don't laugh at jokes when they read them online, when they would laugh at them if the person told them that joke face to face, so 'LOL' really made sense as long as you treated it as 'I would be laughing out loud if you said to my face what you just said via message'. I don't think 'GOAT' makes the same kind of intuitive sense. Maybe we should talk about Darren Bent though, before any mods notice this conversation? What was the last year you would have to go back to to find a time when Darren Bent was a GOAT?

Yes, I have to agree. In a weird way I'm quite glad you won this weekend, because it keeps the interest going until the end of the season. If I'd won, that would have been that and I'd have had a real chance of going unbeaten, which would have been nice but as you say, a bit farcical. Hopefully we can get together with @Rds1983 and his group, and any others who are more prepared to commit for next season. Wimmer and King are exactly who I was thinking of when I praised your picks . . . both solid choices IMO. Not convinced by Afellay, can't help but feel, looking at his stats, that his score this week was mainly down to his assist. And Stoke just don't score very often. Got a feeling we may be fishing in fairly rancid ponds to replace these guys though.

To be fair, this forum is pretty much the only contact I have with 'yoof' slang, so it's no surprise I'm not aware of it then. I don't really understand the comment about tennis? VillaChris said somebody who was ranked #100 was GOAT when they played someone ranked #20? Because the #100 ranked person won? Am I on the right lines? I have at least got as far as understanding that 'LOL' doesn't actually involve laughing though, I will say that.

To tell the truth, I actually didn't realise there would be a shortened gameweek this week until about Wednesday. I don't know why, I knew about it in FPL, I just never made the connection for some reason. I'd definitely have been into Josh King if I'd realised, but that's for taking my eye off the ball I guess. My problem going forward is that I've loaded up on crap - I'll find a use for Cork, but Bony? Adam Smith? Geoff Cameron? These are lemons of the highest order.

I might have mentioned this before . . . I don't remember many of my dreams when I wake up, but there is one dream I remember vividly. I was suddenly in this room, full of chickens. And it was big, and I was right in the middle of it. The ceiling was white, and what I could see of the floor was white, but I couldn't see any walls. The room stretched as far as the eye could see, and it was full of chickens, millions of them. The noise was immense! And then suddenly, this dude appears next to me. I don't want to say he was Jesus, but he had a beard and was wearing a robe so it's hardly impossible. And he said, 'look around you . . . these are all of the chickens that you've eaten in your life' . . . I **** love eating chicken.

I think it's a list of things you didn't find funny, and then a list of things Tony doesn't find funny, and then following the observation that the two things don't overlap, a question as to what you do find funny. I have to say though Tony, I might have avoided rising to the 'no female comedians are funny' bait if you hadn't then confessed to finding Tony Stark 'jokes' funny!

You'd have thought not, but I guess investors love nothing more than a guaranteed hit.

Sally Foo is a 10 on 10 hottie.

Does anybody apart from you use this slang though? Look, you're right - I'm a crotchety old fuddy-duddy English teacher who thinks words have meanings. But I say this out of respect for you: you seem like somebody who knows a lot about football, especially elite European competition. A hell of a lot more than me anyway! The last time I watched a Champions League game was the Man U Chelsea final when Anelka missed a penalty. Actually, that's not true, I watched the final last year, but I was drunk and dozed through some of it. I remember Juve lost - I'm not sure who they lost to without checking, but I feel it might have been Barcelona? You get the point I'm sure - you know more about this stuff than me, so I'm actually interested in your opinions (I might learn something!) but they're usually cloaked in such impenetrable gobbledygook that I have difficulty following them. EDIT: Not that you have to change on my account, go ahead and do as you please, I'm just providing some 'customer feedback' here.

Haha yeah, I probably was a bit unclear but I meant more in terms of 'real life' ability. His last six scores - which I think encompasses all or most of the Guidolin time - are 10.5, 15, 13.5, 13, 9 & 14.5 which is pretty good for a defensive midfielder who didn't score in any of those games (did pick up 2 assists). I think he's one I might hang on to, I can see him plausibly fulfilling the role Veretout had for me previously, of just 'ticking over' in double figures. I don't watch Swansea play, but presumably he's a guy who makes tons of accurate short passes or something.

I think at this point it's best for me to leave the conversation. I think we're more or less at an impasse. Though obviously the fact that the game wasn't on Sky is a bit awkward for your theory, but hey, what do I know. All I can say is what I've said before, which is that I think you owe it to the people who created this protest out of nothing through their own hard work to at least start from the assumption that they're not busy betraying you when you're not watching them. However, we're just restating points so best to leave it there maybe. Oh, and BACAI = 'being a **** about it'

Yeah, they quite often change overnight. EDIT: I'm actually embarrassed to read you talking about my team and the words 'Jack Cork' in the same sentence. **** me I brought in some bilge this week, and all for nowt.

The scenario you're proposing is ludicrous. The club weren't bothered enough by the first protest to even make a statement. Once again, it's really hard to understand why you think the hard-to-conceal conspiracy is so much more likely than the entirely obvious explanation of people making a bad decision, especially when it's people you've communicated with repeatedly on this forum over a period of many years who, I would hope, you had enough respect for not to indulge such silly ideas. And once again, I urge you to reflect that by indulging yourself in all of this dolchstosslegende stuff, you're really BACAI.

Yeah, his score is bonkers. I sort of think it might rise overnight. Surely he got more than 2 points just for the clean sheet? However, it definitely won't be enough to matter, so we have a three-point season. A tense run-in awaits. It would require a bit of luck, but a top-half finish is not totally out of the question for you. You've got me next week, so good luck and may the best man win.

I loved that Lukaku goal yesterday. In fact I spontaneously broke out into applause.

Come on Kane, still time for one more!

Congratulations SBS, a well-deserved win. Should be a tense run-in now.

Injured, should be back next week. Yippee.