Troglodyte

Dortmund sing it, too.

The lion's in his beard.

Thank God we don't have accents that vary dependent on region in the UK!

I love Busquets. He's great.

Give the guy a chance, you haven't seen them beat Uruguay 9-0 yet.

So good that you have to copy and paste his name.

TalkSport is awful, other than Hawksbee and Jacobs, whose show I enjoy very much but rarely get to listen to these days. Used to listen to a couple of other shows on there when I was a teenager - Tommy Boyd's 'Human Zoo' usually gave me a laugh on a Sunday night.

Yup, there's a lot of anti-Rosell feeling in Barcelona.

No matter how much I try to buy supermarket conveyor belt dividers, the cashiers always keep putting them back.

I think that Torres has been reluctant to pass to Villa, but not vice-versa. As for Spain stopping at 9, that depends on whether they have their sights set on a record victory. Their current best is 10-0, so I think they'd like to see 11.

Indeed - 'joke' is very harsh!

You do realise that Sergio Ramos was the only starter against Uruguay that was named in the lineup today, and that even he's been replaced at half time? Yes, Spain haven't been anywhere near as good, but as strong as this side is, it's not as strong as their first XI. I realise that. But the replacements are top top quality too. Juan Mata, Villa, Silva, Ccazorla etc players who walk into every other international side in the world. Yes, but although they're all very good passers of the ball, they're not as good as Xavi, Iniesta and Busquets, who also happen to have been playing together in the middle for years. None of them are playing tonight.

The single most important thing for him as that he keeps that beard.

You do realise that Sergio Ramos was the only starter against Uruguay that was named in the lineup today, and that even he's been replaced at half time? Yes, Spain haven't been anywhere near as good, but as strong as this side is, it's not as strong as their first XI.

The fact that, because of this thread title, I always read its jovial opposite in my head as 'Paddy's "Things that cheer you up that shouldn't"'.

FFS, will Lambert ever stop signing all these foreign players I've never heard of?

Thiago should listen to Barça's advice and be patient. Whether he will or not is another matter. I can't see them letting him go easily - they'll probably push for a buy-back clause if they do.

It's a difficult one, tonight. You'd think that Spain would want to break some records, and that the 'second string' (who would probably give any side in the world a game anyway!) will be out to force their way into the first team. Although the opposition are hugely inferior, it's a chance to turn some heads. However, I agree with those who say that many of the Spanish squad will have some amount of respect for their opponents - I'm thinking of Casillas asking the referee to blow the whistle early in the Euro 2012 final, for example. Del Bosque certainly won't want to see his players milking it, but he won't expect a lack of effort, either. Still, as much as Tahiti are the ultimate underdog, the fans won't want to see Spain refuse to attack. I think their players will feel awkward in terms of how to approach the match, but will probably thrash them without breaking sweat, and we won't see them performing any kind of big celebrations. In a strange way, it'll be a difficult one to prepare for mentally, but they'll win at a canter anyway so it won't matter.

Pah, if he's flavour of the month then I'm sure City will sweep him up sometime soon. What?

http://youtu.be/1O-1Y5YCzSs Yeah, he's crap. That's the thing, he said it straight after that goal. Of course Neymar will be in the first team next season. Yes he's still young and no he hasn't played domestic football outside of Brazil, but he cost a shitload of money and he's **** NEYMAR.

Is he getting a new deal? We need to ask Dortmund how the hell they achieve success by paying Wigan-level salaries. As has been said, Lewandowski doesn't look likely at all to sign a new contract. In terms of BVB's wage bill, they pay more in salaries than Wigan, and Watzke has recently stated that they are able to increase their salary budget significantly on the back of their recent success. Still, compared to other big European clubs, it will remain relatively modest.

Pretty much sums up my views.

I'm not sure on this, but I think you can play with custom-made clubs/players on certain online modes? I'm pretty sure you can in Online Friendlies. So it could be his own squad, or one he downloaded, with 'upgraded' players. Or, if it were Ultimate Team, someone could have purchased a truckload of upgrades? Still, as I type that, I realise that you probably can't upgrade all players to 99 on everything.

Bloody hell, Mark Lawrenson doing his best to spoil this game with his stupid remarks. Suggesting Neymar won't get into the Barça team next year, for example. Really?