Five Ken McNaughts

Not only that, but a 90% empty Banks’s Stadium just looks like a bleak and soulless place to play football, as opposed to a compact Boldmere St Michaels (is it my eyes or are the floodlights at Walsall powered by a couple of 40 watt bulbs?). The capacity at Boldmere was just right at 2,500 (average WSL attendance is 2,300, though Villa don’t get close to that). Should have stayed close to Villa Park, grown support in the local area, kept a bit of match day atmosphere, invested in the ground, added a 4G pitch for the community to use and guarantee a decent playing surface... Loads of things, in fact, other than move 10 miles away and play on a crap pitch in front of a sea of empty seats. It’s a two-year deal apparently, but I wouldn’t be in a rush to extend it.

Remember that Brighton journo who scoffed at the idea of Villa attracting Bissouma? “Aston Villa, yeah, THAT Aston Villa,” was his favourite insult. Yeah, THAT Aston Villa who’ve just taken six points off your mighty Brighton, fella. (Call me petty, but I wanted to win this one even more just because of that prat).

Exactly right. No-one at Premier League PLC has taken some vow of integrity, there’s no swearing on a holy book, no sporting version of the Hippocratic Oath. There is, in fact, absolutely zero obligation to even pretend to be fair. The whole thing is a multi-billion dollar business that can do exactly as it pleases, and every club inherently accepts its absolute authority when it becomes a part of it. Obviously, it’s good PR to pretend there is some old-fashioned Corinthian “fairness” in there but, when push comes to shove (such as this evening), this can be dropped in an instant for more pressing considerations. And what can anyone do? Complain to the Premier League about the Premier League? Howl at the moon? Tilt at windmills? In short, nothing at all. We, as functioning, sentient, adult humans are being asked to accept that a trained referee saw no evidence of that ball making contact with any part of Rodrigo’s arm beneath the t-shirt line. It’s demeaning. But, somewhere, Paul Tierney and Chris Kavanagh are getting a pat on the back in a smoke-filled room (real or figurative). And, next week, they will be out there ready to do it all again.

The Sky anchorman, VAR booth, and PGMOL are all desperately swimming for the shore on this one. Throwing in the non-offside of Richarlison, talking about the position of the ref, whether his assistants should have helped him more... all of it pure obfuscation. And this is after they delayed any discussion for 30 minutes because of some Abramovich story that had no place in post-match analysis. No, this was the day the Premier League finally jumped the shark. The only level of plain-sight corruption left for them to go to is a referee removing the ball from the net and saying “Nope. No goal. No reason. Just nope. Play on...”

But did the ENTIRETY of the ball hit him ABOVE the t-shirt line?

Ah. See what you mean.

It looked to me like the offside was from the quickly taken corner that happened after the handball.

Apart from the annoying truth that over half the ball was beneath the t-shirt line and on the bare arm.

A question that need no longer be asked after that decision.

Do I not like that.

Kind of related to the VP atmosphere... but one of my pet hates since forever has been the choice – if you want to get served – of either leaving your seat 5 minutes before half time or returning 5 minutes after. Watford was only the second game I’ve made this season (the first being Wolves – some lucky charm, me!) but when I went to join the queues in Trinity Upper after about 42 minutes, I noticed the screens no longer show the live match going on outside, or even Soccer Saturday. Just a bunch of scrolling adverts. Is this the norm now? Is it some kind of live stream licensing issue? Because if this is just the club’s attempt to get people to stay in their seats until half time, then they are really approaching things in a wrong-headed way. The correct answer – obviously – would be to get some proper training and management into the serving staff (nothing against them) and speed up the painfully slow rate of service so no-one has to leave their seat early. Unless there is some other reason, it feels like the club is punishing fans before addressing its own failings.

We have just been totally out-played, out-thought and out-fought by two of the worst teams in this league. Every week we now offer a new seminar in “how to beat Aston Villa”. Gerrard may prefer to stay slumped in his seat but he needs to be careful. Some version of that Southampton away match under Sherwood (5-0 after 35 mins?) feels like it is just one decent opponent away. And where would we go from there?

I can only imagine he has a real burst between the 40 and 50-yard mark.

Personally, I think Gerrard should double down and take his philosophy to its natural conclusion. If our full-backs are now attackers and our midfielders are now defenders, let’s go the whole hog – Mings making darting runs off the last man while Ings drops in to cover at centre back... Martinez storming down the wing while Buendia fills in between the posts... Come on, if Opposite World is the key to winning football matches then let’s not be half-hearted about it.

Was about to post the same. Players lacklustre and confused. Crowd flat and tetchy. Pointless subs. All felt so (depressingly) familiar.

Funny how the VAR lines took no account of the fact that Watkins’ boot was raised. Where was the dotted line coming down from a raised body part to meet the pitch? Or does that bit of VAR only apply selectively?

Would you ever find an elite sportsperson being comfortable with “they wanted it more”? Rafael Nadal? Kelly Holmes? Tyson Fury? The absolute last thing Villa need is a culture of “oh well, they wanted it more”. It is the antithesis of success and, if Gerrard is true to his word, should also be the antithesis of the current culture at the club. Time will tell. (IF, instead of “They wanted it more. End of” you had said “They wanted it more. WHY?” then we might be closer to the same page).

Is this to be our fate every time we face a team who “wants it more” then? And we should all meet that with a shrug, huh? Just some force majeure, beyond the influence of man, that all parties need to accept? It isn’t, you know. It is entirely up to those players wearing Aston Villa jerseys as to who “wants it more”. End of.

I can only guess it was deemed unnecessary as soon as Craig Pawson was announced. I’m going to go through the motions anyway: “Very Poor” (but not quite as poor as Villa).

Imagine being a West Ham player and starting your response to all this with “I don’t agree with what he did, BUT...” Just when you think that club have hit rock bottom, they find a new way to carry on digging.

I just made the mistake of looking at one of their fan forums. Don’t think I have ever stared into such a cesspit of humanity... ”It’s not like he kicked it to death.” ”People are making this seem far worse than it is.” ”All gone a bit Mumsnet on here.” ”Some right drama queens.” ”Give the guy a break.” ”Give him a £5 fine and tell his brother he’s an idiot.” ”Is the cat dead? No. Has he apologised? Yes.” ”It’s a cat for **** sake.” ”Expect the press will make a meal out of it.” ”I’ve kicked my cat just as hard in the past as he was annoying me.” I could go on. There are literally pages and pages of this stuff. Stay classy, West Ham.

So Ku*t Zouma thinks this is how you treat another living thing that you “love” and “cherish” – all while other members of the household look on, laughing and filming? Wow! SO many red flags leading in SO many directions! Apart from a criminal conviction and the highest available sentence, this scumbag needs to be placed on a social services watchlist. Oh, and to never, ever, be allowed to make a living from football in this country again. (Sadly, some oil team in the Middle East will no doubt rescue him, but any PL / EFL / SPL side handing this twisted bully a shirt is committing commercial suicide).

If there is one element of Bailey’s game that he clearly needs to work on, it is playing with his head up. Too often he looked like the greedy kid in the playground in that Man City game and it never seemed to end well. Over eagerness to impress is easy to forgive, of course (much easier than a player not looking bothered) but I hope the head-down style of play doesn’t become a hallmark.

£90m for a hat-trick then? Come on, Trez!

The first defender must have got a bad back after stooping to clear every Trezeguet corner.