I cannot wait. So who has been the top assister the second half of the season and the top scorer? Don't bother scouting them, judging how they play the game, how they can fit in and how these achieved these results. Just slap in these bids, erm £10m on Hugill and £5m on erm Hoolahan? Yeah, why not!
Goalkeeper. Erm...just get someone from United. Bound to be good. Doesn't matter if he has never played at any real level or had any real expectancy placed on him, or experience. Plays for United mate.
Lastly we need someone who is going to chip in with goals from midfield, we could analyse why we can't get the most out of the players currently at the club..but **** it. Tom Cairney will do, he has double figures. £9m should do it.
So all in all we will have added a goal 10 assists and 20 goals with these acquisitions.
Now I know what you are thinking "We need to make sure we play to their strengths in order for them to maintain these stats."...but I have always been a great believer in "f*ck it, just tell them what formation we are playing, tell them not to stick within 5 yards of their circle on the tactics board the job is a good'n"