privateer

Yeah, OK, boys. I was referring to this Hitachi. So I'll just leave this here to explain it scientifically for you both.

Is that like a Poundland Hitachi?

We can safely drop Taylor content in the knowledge that with this guy's stride length and aggression, the same amount of pitch real estate will be covered better and faster when you factor in Taylor's woeful positioning and heartless tracking/recovering. Playing with 10 men omits Taylor's Handicap from the team.

I've asked him on your behalf. He wasn't that happy at being asked but confirmed it.

I can buy that. The way some of the players have been gassing long before the game is over I'd suspect they are the smoking beagles kept in confined cages.

In total accord there, mate. Seriously, how do so many of these "love sponges" end up sucking on this club like zombie vampires? And before the "But, muh, mental health..." crowd come piling in, there is a massive difference between "having problems" and "having an attitude problem". Players in the former category shouldn't be playing at all. They should be getting their **** minds sorted just like a player with a **** hamstring would get medical rehab for it. What I'm talking about is the kind of "man" who basically has the equivalent of a turkey's wattle between his legs rather than a scrotum bulging with huge ferrous balls. We've brought in far too many of the former over the last twenty years. What Smith should do with the ball-less, gutless, sulky wastes of space is not send them to the bomb squad, he should send them to Aston Villa Ladies as self-identified women. The best part is, they can get their confidence back tearing up the chick league with the added bonus of being acclaimed and bestowed with bravery awards for standing up for trans rights rather than being castigated for invading another sex's league. Win/Win.

That may be true but d'you what? I'm absolutely **** sick to death of hearing that shite being said about footballers and I'm even more **** sick to death about the number of such sensitive prima donna polesmokers who've we've given a home and vast wages every week to. Do your jobs without shirking and sulking, you bastards. You overpaid, overprivileged arsewipes who need " a bit of love" and "an arm around the shoulder" to go along with the kind of weekly wage senior managers get in a year. Then again, maybe I should be more understanding because I know it is hard in all jobs. For example, I have to give my postman a hug whenever he delivers letters to help him keep his spirits up and to let him know I'm here for him. Otherwise, he just strolls past my house and doesn't deliver. And I went into Waitrose yesterday looking for some umami extract and had to give the assistant "an arm around the shoulder" before he could get the words out to tell me which aisle I need to go to. And don't get me **** started on having to give that word removed taxi driver "a bit of love" before he would drive me home because the weight of expectation of people expecting him to be able to drive them was getting to him.

Agreed. I don't think he did an excellent job here. With the time and resources he had he did an adequate job, up to a point, then his limitations, faults and hard-coded ceiling became apparent. And as a man he's an arsehole, an arrogant, chippy, brillo-headed word removed. Wouldn't it be wonderfully ironic if the litigious little rat gets sued for breaching the agreement. I don't know the legal aspect in terms of what was agreed and how binding it was but I'd love to see the dressing room lawyer ripped for a bundle.

What I posted in the SHA match thread back in November I should add Elmohamady in that, too. Taylor and Elmo are two players I have long seriously disliked and get irritated by their mere presence on the teamsheet before the whistle even goes. The difference with Whelan - and why I don't actually dislike him - is an attitude thing. He was a better player than he is now, time has caught up with him and the body doesn't do what the brain wants now. Those pair of shitehawks, though, have always been pointless, useless, spineless inadequates. The only thing Elmohamady does occasionally is swing in a decent cross but the decent/crap ratio is unacceptable. As a FB he has zero value. As for Taylor, I get seriously concerned when a professional football team manager hands him a start. He's utterly brainless and devoid of heart. And I can't decide if that's worse than the fact that he's utterly devoid of ability. He can't defend because he doesn't have the ability. And then doesn't have the brain or heart to make up for any inadequacy or mistakes. He can't attack because he doesn't have the ability, heart or brains to do that either. His first instinct always seems to be stop, check back, pass sideways or backwards thereby stifling any and every move he's involved in. The other scenario is, for him and everyone else the worst case scenario, to swing in a guaranteed useless cross but he'll only do that when he literally has nobody else to pass the ball to. It's like he just about has enough brain to understand he can't cross and shouldn't so contrives to play in a way to avoid it, as above, with the check back and short pass. A wretched excuse for a footballer.

He's exceptionally dim. The world sees a donkey, he sees a goat.

I'm a little surprised he hasn't pissed off to Dubai or Qatar to grab many more easy millions. He's no stranger to the former and they'll take anyone over there and throw tax free megamoney at them.

Just as well, if he ran he'd be burning energy he can't afford and after 30 minutes of a game he'd be doing naught else but walk.

And can I just point out that if he is leaving, he was named after a crappy girls comic from the 1970s. The jerkoff. Tammy, this is you, this is. However, if he is staying then of course he was named after a biblical legend and the father of all three of the world's greatest religions.

As opposed to our current default first choice defenders who have mistakes in them but are neither strong nor athletic.

I think it's more likely to do with FFP and keeping our financial Hause in order.

I can't find any of those of Wiki so I think you made them up. But I'll take anyone who helps our home record.

Hause with Roofe up top? Gotta be done. Get Gardener back and we're sorted.

Yes, it was all part of the long term plan. Problem?

Jesus, dude. Have you any idea just how much Defoe is in to music these days? He's like Lewis Hamilton, got his eye on the post-football hip-hop rap career.