NurembergVillan

We'll get absolutely larrupped.

Never mind the made up nonsense on FM. Click this link and look at his **** HEAT MAP! He's just what we need!

I think you'll struggle to get an LED TV at 60" that is going to give you that level of picture quality unless you're sitting about half a mile away from it or have a million quid to drop on a telly. Plasma might be a better shout but it's a dying technology and your leccy bills will go mental on a tv that size.

That's cos you're their number one user Happy birthday though!

Barry Bannan "Helium Man".

Wigan are level at Stoke.

We really are **** awful. This lot haven't won away from home all season.

Safer bet for a night out than in one of Brazil's hotspots.

I've got to hand it to you, you're prepared to try to have a reasonable argument, even if I believe the basis for it is flawed. That stat above though is woeful. His average pass length is also high at 24m. Trying too hard or being Mr Hollywood? Those two stats in isolation suggest he tries too many long balls that don't find the target. And that's one of the reasons the fans can't take to him.

So we agree then? These stats prove nothing as there are too many flaws and variables to provide like for like comparisons between any two players.

Think Tiger Tiger hire space out. Dunno if a)there's one in Brum; if it's any good.

Not really. If all his key passes give the receiving player less chance of scoring than, say, Steven Gerrard's key passes. Stats without context are just numbers.

I didn't say mis-kick though did I? Or lucky. I said if he gets the angle wrong, say if Gabby needs it playing straight and the pass sends him wide. Or if it's just behind him and he has to check his run allowing the defender to catch him. These are still "key passes" but in reality are bad passes, otherwise they'd have had more chance of being an assist. That's the trouble with stats - as I said before, they need context.

You all have cheesy scrotums?

No it's not, it's the type of pass made. He could play a through ball for Agbonlahor but if he gets the angle wrong and sends him wide it stands less chance of becoming an assist. It'll count as a "key pass" even if it's a "shit pass".

My mate is looking to buy a tablet for his parents who are in their early 70s. He has an iPad and wants to be able to video call his parents so they can see his kids etc. He's been asking me for advice but I've helped as much as I can. My best recommendation was a refurbed iPad. His folks wont really use it for much other than video calling so it doesn't need to be all singing and dancing, or have a lot of storage. Ideally they'll want something that is simple and has a big screen - hence my shout for him to get them an iPad. Really though he's looking to get something as cheap as he can but would be willing to fork out if it's the best option. Soooo - can you help? Big screen (say 10") Easy to use for older people who have no touch screen experience etc No real need for storage Must be able to video call with an iPad (so shared apps), with group chats a bonus Lower price is better but it's about getting the functionality right

The business side of our club is being run by George W. Bush and Gareth Keenan from The Office. "Wreck-It Randolph"

Where do you get your stats from? I'd like to have a mooch round the website.

"Going down in history".

We can't even afford George Boateng.

Including Southampton where we lost 1-0 to a Rickie Lambert penalty?