Morley_crosses_to_Withe

your 2 friends are weird. I demand to know how the topic came up in conversation One of them was telling a story about how some bird was noshing him off/sucking his plums, and after she'd finished she commented on how he tasted 'flowery'. He then explained why - because he talcs them up with Johnson's powder. My other mate I was with said he powders them up, too. I felt left out because I don't have any talcum powder experiences

I was in the pub the other day and two of my mates said that they talcum powder their balls after showering. The reason being that it's good hygiene. I've never done this before, so now I'm thinking whether I should start doing the same. I didn't even know blokes do that. Is it a common thing? Does every bloke do it? Am the only bloke in the world who doesn't talcum powder their balls? I always thought talcum powder was for baby's bottoms, not gentleman's bollocks. I'm not even sure how I approach the whole talcum powder purchase. When I go to the shop, do I ask for talc and then give the woman a nod and a wink? Will she know I'm buying it to put on my nut sack or will she think I'm buying it because I have a child? But what if she asks me questions about the baby she thinks I have? Do I lie and make stuff up or do I just come out with it and tell her it's for my bollocks?

Mods! Ban him for this one. Straight red, surely!

Over the moon about this. I've wanted us to sign him for bloody ages. It's the shame the quitter "baulked" at the price of Bent before he moved to Sunderland. Ahh well, he's here now....Finally! GET IN! Edit: Cheers to all the ITKs and journalists who have kept us updated.

Wouldn't Dadadadadadadada be better than nanananananana? Just a thought.

Bang on about being close to a/the lift/s. On one of the occasions I went, we were fooking miles away from the main lift. It was proper grim having to trudge up there everyday with all of our ski gear, and usually with a hangover (the bus service was piss poor and only once every hour or something ridiculous). As for the chalet, you could even go self-catering. No doubt there'll be some sort of minimark/supermarket where you can buy a few pizzas or a big bag of pasta etc. All you need is a few things that you can knock up quickly. You'll save loads of money that way and have more to spend on booze.

I dunno whether this is your thing, but I went to this in 2008 & 2009. It was f'cking awesome. Good advice re: TKMaxx. It's all of last season's stuff, but unless you're a fashion queen, it's not going to matter. You'll pick up some gear on the cheap which is better than paying the extortionate prices at places like Snow and Rock etc. If you're going to wear goggles then it might be worth splashing out a bit as cheap ones steam up way to quickly. I don't tend to wear them because I'm too hard 8)

SSN saying that we're an hour away from announcing the signing Also, saying ticket sales are up already following the story being broken. Press conference will probably be at some point today. Commented on how quickly this is getting done compared to how long MON used to take.

What a thread! Shows how times change, apparently Carew is a better striker! "Gabby and BJ are far better, IMO"

Siry_gary_cahill got so excited he ejaculated himself to death. RIP. For those who don't know who Sir Gary Cahill is there's a thread back at the top of the 'Other Football' forum and there's also this : A lot of well reasoned debate, but there's also a sprinkling of comedy, over-the-top comments from people on both sides of the argument

Edit.

Pete Colley (SSN) saying it's 18M plus add-ons including £1.5M if we stay up, £1.5M if Bent scores a certain amount of goals etc. He's also said that Bent is due at the training ground within the next couple of hours. Our official photographer has arrived in preparation. Also saying we're still after Adam and looking for a CB.

That's just pathetic. Okay, they've got a business to run, but FFS - they should also treat people like adults. Shit happens; people are sometimes late. There are also times people need to leave early, so the sensible approach would be to accept that and organise adequate coverage.

So he's driven to Birmingham, agreed personal terms, and probably having a medical. Sunderland need to just give in and accept our offer. Although, if they haven't accepted the offer, then surely we wouldnt have had permission to talk to him!? :?

Question is this: How many people do we have in the squad who can score 15-20 league goals per season? None. How many do we have with a decent delivery/pass - A handful. We need a Darren Bent more than we need a Stewart Downing. In an ideal world, we'd have both, but if it had to be one or the other, I'd personally take DB. If we got rid of Downing, then we could put Ash back out on the wing and start giving Albrighton more game time. We could then play Heskey up front with Bent. We'd a lot more balanced. The big thing though, if we were to sell SD, is to make sure Ashley Young stays.

Just been thinking about a factor in all this, and it's one which doesn't usually benefit Villa - the London draw. Bent was born in Tooting, probably still has family there/in and around London, he's played for Charlton and Spurs (and no doubt has mates at both clubs) etc. He must be very isolated in the North East as he's miles away from everyone. He can't just jump in the car and be in London within an hour or two. None of the London clubs are in for him, so a move to Villa makes sense (on a personal level). It's blatant that he wants to play for us considering he's handed in a transfer request AND he's even taken the trouble to drive to the Midlands so he can be there ready to discuss personal terms.

SSN saying that the bid is 18M rising to £24M. Bent is in the Birmingham area awaiting permission to speak to us. As soon as he gets permission from Sunderland, he'll be able to talk to us. This MIGHT get done today and personal terms will be discussed along with the medical completed. Stats: Scored 32 goals in 58 games for Sunderland. Only Drog and Rooney have scored more goals then him in the PL since 2006.

Exactly DDVIN. You can't put a price on goals; especially when you're in the shit. We need someone to come in NOW to score goals.

****, yes! ****, yes! ****, yes! Get him in Randy and Ged. I've wanted us to sign Bent since he was at Charlton. Proper goalscorer. Proven in the PL. Want!

And your basing this on what? Playing the same 11 players irrespective of form all season resulting in second half of season collapse; only ever having plan a "a"; refusing to use substitutes; not bothering to buy a right back for a year; playing RB's at LB, and centre backs at RB; having no scouting system to speak of; having no confidence in our youth system and thus refusing to invest in continuity; squandering resources bringing in second rate players on scandalous wages and not playing them; generally struggled in the transfer market; lost the dressing room (GH never had the dressing room as the lunatics were already running the asylum)..... and so much more. This is not good management. I will admit MON was the right man when he joined and credit is due for a wembley final, finishing 6th 3 times, buying Ash, Milner and Delph, always showing passion on the touchline and in interviews and generally respecting the fans, but he did not build an empire, he was an of-the-moment manager. He ran off like a coward - it was his bed and didn't fancy lying in it, says it all. I lost all respect for him after that. You should post more often. Whether people agree with that or not, it's very succinct and well reasoned. FWIW, I agree with a lot of that; especially the bit in bold.

Definitely this.

Me and my housemates had similar problems. I'm not that great on the game, but was starting to make progress until we bought ourselves a 46" Samsung 3D jobby. I started going backwards again after that and it's taken me ages to start getting better again. One of my housemates, who's normally pretty shit hot, also struggled after we switched TVs. Strange.

Clean shaving. Proper ghey. A bit of manly stubble is the way forward. Women tend to prefer it too.

How come you don't like Planes? I fooking love getting on a plane. It does depend on the airline, though.