Ginko

Club in vastly overpricing their player shocker. If he was as good as you say he is they wouldn't want to sell him at all. As for your Bacuna comment: absolutely mental. He wouldn't get within a mile of either of those teams' midfield.

Another one in the 'once you're dead you're dead' camp and you return to the nothingness you didn't know before you were born. I'd love to be proven wrong. Gives me an excuse to post my favourite song from The Book of Mormon, though:

Also, since when has any club given the press their transfer budget? I think we'll see two or three come in.

Is it maybe a reference to the good doctor's own heart troubles? Like he'll soon be healed up and then we'll sign some players?

But you did over Simon Le Bon?

Maybe that's what the Fs stand for: Forks.

Erm, looked a bit cack from that trailer. Hope the game is better.

It looks like a Villa kit, sure, but that pinky 'claret' is still **** ugly. That's my only gripe with it. That being said, I don't think those shirts have officially been declared as legit, have they?

Spaced. That is all.

So last weekend I went camping near Matlock in Derbyshire and into Matlock Bath where a friend told me local boys Shane Meadows and Paddy Considine has filmed Dead Man's Shoes which I'd never watched but had heard good things about. Well, I watched it last night and I have to say I was pretty disappointed. I expected something darker and deeper and it just felt a bit like a pretty decent student film in the end. There was no real character work done so I didn't feel anything for anyone except for maybe Toby Kebbel's character (he was the best part of the film for me). The story was a bit silly (why did no one call the police if they knew they were going to be murderered?) and the twist at the end didn't have any effect on me, neither did the ending itself which also seemed daft. I think it was trying too hard, but perhaps I'm being a bit unfair as I was expecting something akin to In Bruges which is one of my favourite films - 6/10 WNB (again) I then treated myself to watching In Bruges again afterwards. Such a great fil'um that has you laugh out loud one minute and gets you in the feels the next. So many memorable and quotable bits and the cast is bloody brilliant - 9.5/10 WB (again and again)

Don't get the hate for Tom Cruise to be honest. I know he's a Scientologist and I have very strong feelings towards them, but I just judge Cruise by his acting and how he comes across in interviews. From them he seems like a decent chap, if a little strange, but as Xela said, incredibly dedicated to his work and very professional. I like a lot of his films.

You got Michael Fish for your 40th birthday party?! Wild.

Think that looks pretty ghastly, myself. Way too busy.

What a novel idea. I'm writing the first draft of the teleplay as we speak.

Aside from the proper claret colour, sure.

Came back to see my dad this weekend and he made me watch it. It was as awful as everyone says. Badly paced, crappy dialogue, boring characters that you don't spend enough time getting know so you don't care about them, crappy villains, one of whom is played by Cara Delevigne who proved she is definitely not an actor (and she does nothing for me, don't get the fuss, Margot Robbie on the other hand...), music that is shoehorned in and just gives scenes a weird vibe, a really shit take on Joker, a seriously unlikable commander who kills innocent people working for her and is the true villain of the piece that doesn't get any kind of comeuppance, a weak, pussy-whipped soldier-type who gets walked all over despite supposedly being the best army bad-ass they have and he didn't even have the decency to die in the end. Add to that a really lame anti-hero who killed his wife and kids because he got a little upset one time that's used as a get-out-of-jail-free card at the end just to balance the fact that a crackshot, a crazy hottie with a baseball bat, a sterotypical drunk Aussie with **** boomerangs, the smallest and lamest looking iteration of Killer Croc who pretty much does naff all anyway, and a rather small, unintimidating Japanese girl with a samurai sword girl (it can be done, they should have watched Sin City) and the aforementioned weak-ass army douche had absolutely zero chance against two ancient Egyptian gods with a whole host of actual powers. It's boring and just terrible storytelling. Worse than Batman V Superman for me.

I just love how naive @chrisp65 is that he assumes the thing that's vibrating in her knickers is a phone. 'Hm, those new Nokias look awfully smooth and bullet-shaped.'

In fairness I know nothing about what ideas he had and what he intended to explore, I just have no faith he'd make anything good.

See, films need a theme, I have no problem with that. A film without a theme is empty. But you're right in that Prometheus and Covenant have a theme that no one cares about because it's completely unrelatable. The majority of people don't have God complexes and even those who do don't go anywhere near the extent to which these films do. A story which is so fantastical and unfamiliar needs a recognisable theme that people can vibe with. Other than that, no one ever watched Alien and partway through wondered where the Xenomorph came from. It's a question pretty much no one asked and no one cared about. It'd be like making a prequel to Jaws that delved into the shark's past. I haven't seen any of the sequels so perhaps this film exists and I'm unaware of it. Or perhaps that's what Deep Blue Sea was trying to be. Either way, if that film did exist, it would suck because, like the origins of the Xenomorph, it doesn't **** matter.

I really enjoyed District 9 but everything since then has just made me feel that it was beginner's luck. I doubt he would have done better, we just would have had another bad Alien film with funny accents and Sharlito Copley running around before hopefully getting eviscerated by a Xenomorph. Should have let Villeneuve or Nolan have a crack at it or just left it well enough alone, but oh well.

On the subject of anti-jokes... Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're really good at it.

Even the ending was crap for me, incredibly obvious even without the massive clues they dropped. Might as well have flashed it up on screen. Youre right though, essentially the exact same film as Prometheus. So much for learning from your mistakes, Ridley.

That's pretty exciting for me actually. Spider-Man 3 was something I'd been looking forward to since I was a kid and they made the venom symbiote an absolute joke. Getting a second chance with Tom Hardy as (presumably) Eddie Brock is a dream. God I hope it's good.

The first Audioslave album was on repeat when I was in sixth form and going to university. Was never a huge Soundgarden fan but loved Cornell's vocals. Saw him on SNL last year performing with another band (I forget the name) and he looked skinny and gaunt whereas I always remember him as being quite muscular and in good shape. Wondered then if he had any demons or an illness he hadn't announced. This is one of those deaths that genuinely made me feel a little hollow. Shame.

So... Alien: Covenant is a bit shit, isn't it? Sigh.