Robtaylor200

As we seem short on new jokes, this is my very favourite old joke A guy and his wife were reading the evening paper. She said there is an advert here for a pedigree Alsatian dog £50, He said it must be a misprint they are 10 times that much. But he called and the lady who answered said that the price was correct so he went to have a look at the dog The dog was sitting by the fire and he was a beauty “Only £50 are you sure he is a pedigree” the man said “Oh! Yes” said the lady “why don’t you ask him, he is such a high class pedigree he speaks English all the time and a few words of French” The dog looked at the man and said “Why don’t you clear off and leave me alone, I get 2 hours by this fire every day and I don’t want some bloke bothering me while I am sitting here. I heard you ask if I was a pedigree, well my Dad was top show dog for 3 years running, my Mom was a Super bitch 4 years running. I have three sisters and two brothers we have won that many trophies our owners had to have a house extension to put them in. I was taken into the drug squad when I was 3 years old and found over,£1,000,000 of Heroin and Cannabis in just 12 months, later I was working for the bomb squad and found two bombs, Finally as a rescue dog I saved lives all over the world and now I am retired with a pension” “Wow” said the man “why do you want to get rid of this dog” “Because he’s Bloody liar,” said the woman

Now I thought it was older than that

Amazon driver knocked the door and said he had a parcel for next door I said Your at the wrong **** house then aren't you

3 months in lock down, who would have thought that 3 months of uncut hair could weigh 2 stone

Point taken.

Saved a shed load by fixing Mrs T car thanks to YouTube. She has an Peugoet 207. The side window stuck down and the roof stuck down. Garage charged me £130 to get it back up and told me it needed new motor and relay. I asked "If it needs those then how did you get it back up ?" They said they found some wet contacts and dried them out mmmmm broke when wet OK when dry. YouTube showed me how to get into door, dry all with hair dryer, wrap in plastic. What do you know it all works. Robbing barstools. £130 to dry it out

Starting to hit me now. I work shifts. So no shift allowance and only 80% of normal pay. About £600 down per month now. But I am luckier than most as I do have savings. Also my holiday has been cancelled so I have the spending money I had saved for that

Me too, I have a grade 2, Mrs T has done it fine twice. I wont be back to barbers after this

It certainly has made me realise how much I spend at work on lunches and vended coffee We have learnt to manage on 80% of my wage and Mrs T loss of part time wage completely , But obviously no chance to put savings away. My savings have been hit and as much as it grieves me at least I had them

Hard to answer this one to play or not to play. I think we have to try and see it from their position not our own After 9 weeks off I want to go back to work, I need to go back to work, I feel that if I dont get back soon they will get used to working without me. I think the risk is minimal On the other hand If I could afford not to go. Would I still take the minimal risk

Seems to me that the only way we are going to stay up. Is for the season to restart and for us to get enough points. Glad to see we are starting a form of training

I have genuinely surprised myself over the past two months in lockdown, wondering if I have a job to go back to, hoping my family is safe. I have realised that Villa is not the be all and end all for me I can not understand the arguments about how we should re start the season, slating each others ideas of H&S I am amazed that I have not missed watching the Villa. I have watched and supported the Villa for 55 years. My blood is claret and blue, most of my clothes have Villa colours in them or Villa crests on them. Mrs T and I (like most others) haven't worked for two months My mom is 91 and lives on her own since Pops passed away last year. I have been to see her every week, making sure she is OK. My priorities have changed. I know that when we are safe the Villa will be back in my life as I will always be VTID At the moment I really dont care if the season starts again or not. IMO Let Liverpool have the league trophy and forget the rest of the season, what ever league we will be in is not as important to me as what is happening outside my front door. When this is over we will all be going back to VP what ever league we are in

I also remember being in the Holte, Bozzy had caught the ball and was going to kick it out of his hands. Shearer was pulling his shirt. As Bozzy went to run Shearer pulled him again. Bozzy dropped it and Shearer scored. The three officials didn't see it and the goal stood. Shearer one of the best ever but was a dirty player. Was good to see him get sent off at VP some years later (this action brought about the famous head rubbing by Ian Taylor

Jimmy Rimmer for me I seem to remember every time Bozzy took a goal kick, every player had so stand on the left hand touch line . It was like when your home pool table wasn't set up right and everything ended up on one side

Agree about Kodja he really didn't seem to give a scooby, but Davis wasn't injured every game that Wes played in and failed to be involved and not only I thought that one of England's best midfielders played better in the middle than as a winger, I lost count of how many commentators were saying the same . This goes back to my first post. That It is not clear to everyone in our club felt that the tactics and coaching was not a problem. If all the VT members got together we wouldn't pick the same team, we wouldn't play the same tactics and we would all have different ways of motivating our team, Which is why we all have conflicting views of what is wrong . This is why some one is paid to Manage. The league position, goals for, goals against and all the other statistics are without feelings

I dont think that is clear to every one from our club that the problem isn't tactics or coaching. Sticking with Wes for so long, playing Jack on the wing cant defend a corner, this is tactics and coaching . This is the argument that we dont all agree on. But I do agree you could beat a moped in your M1, there again my mates M1 is always breaking down

As one the elderly fans on here, I am struggling to think of a manger that got us into a mess like this (constant losing and dropping places) and yet survived to turn it around and make us great again. In my experience if a manager cant win games even if he is a thoroughly nice guy, then normally its because he isn't quite good enough and doesn't have a plan B. I would like to see Deans love affair over, but agree with many on here. If we do change manager we need to aim for better than Dyche. Yet controversial to my above post I would like to see Big Sam on a short term contract, save us and then aim higher. I guess I just want change, as IMO opinion change is a must

Me and Mrs T stopped 3 years ago next month, We still vape (although have cut the nicotine down to 0.3) Even buying the vapes. maintenance and liquid we have saved 10 grand.. I worked out that Mrs T worked a day and half a week to pay for our tobacco. After a year she dropped down to working only 3 days a week. Keep it up @LakotaDakota Well done

By not going to work, saved £20 a week petrol, £10 a week coffee from the machine and probably another £10 on crap snacks.

Three conspiracy theorists walked into a bar.---- Now that's no a coincidence OMG walked into a bar, that sounds good

every one of them is baaaaaaaaaaaaaad, so bad so very very very bad

Donald Trump interviews, what an absolute Moron. You need to watch some of them on the red button Sky Q especially as to why he is not wearing a mask. Also that his Covid test was so negative, the doctors had never seen a more negative test He really really winds me up

My Uncle was actually Chief Inspector of Cannock police force in the 80s, He was also Worshipful of the Uttoxeter Free Masons (no surprises there) My dad and mom went to two or three of their does. My dad used to tell a story of how my Uncle was so pissed he would be driving with his feet on the steering wheel (my old chap did exaggerate) But he got my old chap off with a couple of speeding tickets too.

I dont think he does. Wishing him well in his mansion in Cornwall though. Hope he is well