gregavfc Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 :shock: standards dropped a bit there! :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattavfc Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 I don't think this is that great, but it might suit your dirty mind Greg, One day there was a pregnant women who was about to go into labor with 3 children. Her husband didn't want to be any part of this so he decided to leave her and took the car. So she had to walk to the hospital all by herself. All of a sudden she came to a dark alley and of course she went through it and all of a sudden a man pops out and shoots her in the stomach. When she got to the hospital she was ok and the babies were fine as well. 16 years later the first child who was a girl came to the mother and said "mom mom guess what?" "What?" I pissed out a bullet. So the mother told her what happened 16 years ago. Then the second born child who was also a girl came to her mother and said "mom mom guess what I pissed out a bullet." So the mom told her what happend 16 years ago. Then the 3rd born child came in who was a boy said "mom mom guess what?" The mom said "let me guess you pissed out a bullet." "No i was jacking off and i shot the dog!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattavfc Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 A blonde lady was driving along the highway when a blonde police officer pulled her over for speeding. Officer: May i see your licence? Lady: what does it look like? Officer: its a rectangular thing with a photo of you on it. The lady looks through her bag and pulls out her compact mirror and hands it to the officer. The officer opens it up and says 'if you had told me you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gregavfc Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 I don't think this is that great, but it might suit your dirty mind Greg, hehe. crap joke btw!! :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattavfc Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 This one is pretty crap, but worth a read: A big-rig operator stopped to pick up a female hitchhiker wearing REALLY short shorts. "Say, what's your name, mister?" she inquired, after she climbed up in the truck. "It's Snow ... Roy Snow," he answered, "and what's yours?" "Me, I'm June ... June Hansen," she said. After a short while she asked, "Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances?" "Can you imagine what it might be like," he countered, ....having eight inches of Snow in June?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gregavfc Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattavfc Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 Another dirty one for Greg, Bill & Ben were having sex. Bill said "Flobba flobbalobba flob!" Ben said "If you loved me, you would have swallowed that!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gregavfc Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 Why are clocks considered freaks? 'Cause they have three hands! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattavfc Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 Love the daft ones Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gregavfc Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes? The police thought it was a cereal killer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattavfc Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 Back to Blose: How do you drown a thick a$$ blue nose? a scratch n sniff at the bottom of a swimming pool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gregavfc Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie. He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three girls, each would get one wish. The redhead went first. ''I hate it here. It is too hot and boring. I want to go home!'' "Okay,'' replied the genie. And off she went. Then the brunette went. ''I miss my family, my friends and relatives. I want to go home, too!!'' And off she went. The blonde started crying and said, ''I wish my friends were back here!'' A blonde was walking through the desert when she came accross a genie, who gave her one wish, she said "I wish for a car door so I can open the window when it gets hot" :shock: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattavfc Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 Quality Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattavfc Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 A husband leaves the house to go pick up dinner for he and his wife. Shortly after leaving, the doorbell rings. It is her husbands best friend and she invites him in. Since she is in her bathrobe the man says to her "you have the nicest breasts". She says "thanks but my husband would be mad if he heard you". He replies "I would pay you $10 just to see one of them". She thinks for a minute and decides to do it. He says "Wow that is the most perfect breast I ever saw....I will give you another $10 if you show me both at the same time". She does it, and he gives her the money. The friend leaves and her husband comes home. She says "your best friend just stopped by". He answers "Great did he leave the $20 he owed me?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dale Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 :lol:Like that one:lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalim_a Posted June 6, 2004 Share Posted June 6, 2004 matt i posted the joke about the bullet and dog here a few weeks ago, dont repost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gregavfc Posted June 6, 2004 Share Posted June 6, 2004 Yes- Don't be so naughty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalim_a Posted June 6, 2004 Share Posted June 6, 2004 Sitting in the sweltering stands of the gym, sweating my ass off while listening to the teacher read off the names of the graduating kindergarten class was pretty boring. My mind was naturally wandering, checking out all the young mothers and wondering which of them take it up the ass, when the announcer called out the name Kenny Wong. "That kid's not Asian," I elbowed my wife pointing to the little blonde-haired boy, "he's white." "Ssshhh!" she hissed. "Don't make fun of children!" "I'm not making fun of him," I countered. "I'm simply saying that his parents must be white..." "TZ! Ssshhh!" she repeated. I laughed. "I guess two whites can make a Wong." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gregavfc Posted June 6, 2004 Share Posted June 6, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gregavfc Posted June 6, 2004 Share Posted June 6, 2004 Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a Villa fan, an Small Heathen, and a Baggie, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe says to the Baggie, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?" The Baggie responds, "I will take oil!" So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times. When he is finished the Baggie has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move. The Amazons haul the Baggie away, and say to the Small Heathen, "What do you want on your back?" "I will take nothing!" says the Nose, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch. "What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the Villa Fan. He responds, "I'll take the Bluenose." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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