Exactly that. It was the right thing to do, but it's just tearing me up because it's just gonna be a huge gap from where she was, and it's gonna be hard to replace. Factor in that she was also my first love - I know it sounds very cliche, but she's also my first proper girlfriend too, like one that actually meant and does still mean something to me. I've never experienced this sort of feeling with anyone before, and never had to deal with sort of break up either.
She's a very insecure person, so she'd push me away, because she was unsure about how much I loved her, when in fact I did, and it was obvious to everyone else, but she just needed that reaffirming to herself. And that has just built up, and it happens regularly too, so it just gets me down, and eventually it's just broke me down. I couldn't do it anymore.
The actual break up itself was the easiest part in fact, it's just sitting here thinking about it that is just absolutely destroying me.
And I just got out the shower, put on spotify, pressed play, and the first song on shuffle was a song that reminded me of her, and I just broke down.