leemond2008

I wouldn't bollock inanimate objects at all, I would just shake my head and tut at them, then when I made camp for the night I would go over the day's events with Vincent and explain to him why I was pissed off with said objects and Vincent would listen to every word and eventually learn how to speak doglish and slowly evolve into a half dog half man type creature that can walk (albeit unsteadily) on his back two legs and we would roam the earth planning day to day how we would live our lives whilst hunting rabbits and the few remaining humans then I would find a lone surviving female and take her as my partner (she has no say in the matter) and our relationship would blossom, Vincent would get jealous and run off and start an army of dogmanish creatures with a stray jack russel, we will go to war I will win then I will befriend a monkey named Poppy and move to the jungle and see out the rest of my day's with her and her monkey family

ok I am pre-empting my rant for tomorrow its the team meal and a standard 3 course christmas menu so it wont be anything special but I guarantee that by 11 o'clock at least 4 people will have said ''I am starving but I'm not going to have any breakfast because I don't want to spoil my meal tonight' I recon that by 10:30 I will be popping into this thread to confirm that this has pissed me off, has any one ever predicted what will piss them off in this thread before??? I for one will be enjoying a bacon egg and black pudding sandwich for breakfast and maybe a cheeky little baguette at lunch time as well for the record the team meal is at 4:00pm

maybe not everyone loves them but they seem to have hit that patch where music fans and chavs like them I mite stick that god and satan song on now actually

I refuse to give to any charity raising evet at work because in my 9 or 10 years of working at the place they have never once raised money for any charity involving animals which I think is unfair

scenario 1 - eating a bacon and egg sandwich you-so how do you feel about life at this exact moment exhibit A-I feel pretty **** good about it, I am getting free food scenario 2- eating a sandwich with a beer shit filling you-so how do you feel about life at this exact moment exhibit B - pretty shit to be honest

is his dog named Vincent? if it is then I will have to come up with a new post apocalyptic dog name

Apart from the fact that I am not black and wouldn't mope around all day at being alone....and I would not have allowed that to happen to my dog then yeah maybe

Yep I am fully aware of that but I am used to pulling my own Christmas cracker so there is no problem there

rod stewart - only a hobo

I dont moan all that much, things just annoy me and I voice my opinion, today is the first time I have ventured into the 'things that piss me off' thread in months. I just enjoy my own company and people annoy me in general, that is why I think it would be good fun to be completely on my own with nothing more than a guitar and a dog named Vincent

I really do hope the world ends, not like over in an instant but things slowly start to go to shit and I would love to be one of the last people left, I often think that, I just think it would be a good crack

I know that every one loves the Biff and I don't mind them all that much to be honest (I have one of their albums and it goes on every now and again, the one with ''I talk to god as much as I talk to satan'' on it) are they any good live? I don't know why they just always strike me as the sort of band who can produce decent studio albums but would be quite poor live.

I would be quite happy with 13 to be honest. Then again I am quite the homeboy, only ever been abroad once, to Spain when I was 4 and I got the chicken pox after the second day so the miniscule bits I do remember about it aint that great. I know bucket loads of stuff but knowing where Macedonia is on a map isn't something I would take pride in telling someone, I know a bit about places just not where they are

5, I am getting better

4 out of 37 countries in Europe...lets go again

I am absolute gash at geography and have had a few beers...if anything I am hoping that will boost my chances because I am really really terrible I'll let you know how I get on

I have just posted in the ''things that cheer you up'' thread...kind of worried now...maybe the **** mayans were onto something, this could be the beginning of the end

**** hell, not very often you catch me in this thread as I'm a miserable bastard 99% of the time cheers me up that I had an absolute wank day at work, 5pm dived head first into the nearest pub (which is also approximately 5 seconds from my bus stop) had a few pints with me mate, stopped off at the chippy on the way home had mixed kebab meat in a pitta bread with extra chilly sauce got home ate that and now I am cracking a can (got about 9 cans in the fridge which my mates kindly left when they invaded my flat the other day) and am just about to commence with blasting some music out whilst having a nice relaxing beverage or 5 cheers me the **** up that does

I despise working in an office at christmas time, I will be frequenting this thread quite a lot over the next week or so I recon.. The other thing is secret santa, now I dont take part because I'm the cheap skate anti social type, but I am happy with that, I will sit in the corner and look at my phone whilst everyone else runs around getting excited buying things for people they dont even **** like, I can just about tollerate that but now the cretins I work with are asking for time off to have a secret santa for their kids!!!! some bright spark came up with the idea that they can do it for their brats and they want to take works time for it, **** that you wanna buy presents for kids of people you dont even **** like then crack on but dont expect me to sit there doing all of your work just cuz you feel the need to buy pointless presents for kids who have no **** idea who you are, here's an idea, why dont you buy some presents and donate them to charity or some shit like that at least them kids will appreciate them. Then there is the Xmas meal that we are having tomorrow, now I have no problem with going out for a team meal but when I say that I am going to shoot off home once I have had my meal and a few pints I am all of a sudden the **** antichrist ''why dont you stay out we are going up broad street after the meal'' I'll tell you why not its because I **** despise broad street and the majority of you people ''well thats not very nice we are your colleagues'' exactly COLLEAGUES people I get paid to endure on a daily **** basis, now please leave me to go home and have a drink with my actual mates and stop pestering me

people who get excited over trivial things, everyone in the office has been complaining because they have not put the radio's on (which apparently will boost productiviy and the managers should allow it because its christmas) you should have heard the fucktards in the office close to striking because they wasn't allowed their precious radio's, anyway the managers have relented and put the radio's on. now how listening to the radio will cheer people up I dont know, listening to **** Bono whining about not being able to find something that he lost despite looking for it makes me want to rip my **** sideholes off my head in 90 minutes I heard that ''read all about it, read all about it'' song twice, upon me questioning this a girl looked at me like I was a complete **** idiot and said ''No it hasn't been on twice this is a different version'' well excuse me for not listening to the same inane drivel that you do and for not knowing the difference between the original and the dubstep/RnB/dance version and the obligatory x factor cover

nah just everything in there is 25% off until christmas eve armchair supporters (such as myself) are welcome to take advantage of the offer as well

did you all know that there is 25% off everything in the villa shop in town?

I also have an unmanipulated tap that I took a picture of when I was in the doctors the other week but I aint had a chance to upload that one

I have no idea how, freak occurance maybe, stranger things have happened at sea than a few seeds getting misplaced whilst cutting a pepper

You mite want to tell bicks that a band called half man half biscuit have already beaten him to it ;-)