Stevo985 Posted July 2, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted July 2, 2013 (edited) No, not me. But as mentioned in the piss you off thread, my sister found out yesterday that she failed her degree (Criminology at Uni of Bedfordshire). She was aware it was a possibility but thought (or lied to us) that if she did she could do a resit and graduate in November instead. But they've told her she'd need to resit the whole year back in Luton (where she was studying) My parents are adamant that that isn't an option. She's wasted too much money to go back for another year with no guarantee that she wouldn't sit around doing **** all again and still not pass. They're furious with her at the moment. I'm the only one who seems to actually want to help and try and get her with some sort of degree at the end of it. So my question is has anyone ever been in a similar situation, and what did you do? I don't want her to throw away the 4 years and have nothing to show for it. My thoughts were maybe she could do the final year at a different university or college in the Midlands? Or even the Open University or something? She'd still have to pay for her final year but she could live at home and get a job and not have to rely on another round of loans to plunge her into even more debt. Is that a thing, or have I made that up? Edited July 2, 2013 by Stevo985 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonno_2004 Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 My girlfriend looked at doing a transfer after 1st year which seemed perfectly viable - it's only after 1st year they seem to start taking results into account for the final grading depending on course/university which make transfers less likely. If your sister is on a 3 year course and failed the final year, this would count as a 2nd year transfer I assume - would all depend on which uni/past-grades I would imagine if she can transfer to a local uni/college that is running the same course. Wouldn't hurt to start calling up admissions departments for various places. I'd imagine anywhere is better than living in Luton for another year anyway! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 OU is probably a decent option, I expect a large amount of her work to date could be carried forward as credit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eames Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 Depending on her lifestyle at uni - overdrafts/credit cards/bank loans etc are her only real "debt" that presents an immidiate problem. The student loan only becomes an issue when she starts working and earning over a certain threshold. Tbh she needs to complete the degree. Yes your folks will be pissed off/dissappointed at her but she is seriously going to struggle to get a job with an unfinished degree on her CV at her age (I assume she is 20/1) If shes done **** all it'll take some major explaining at intverviews. She and your folks would be daft just to write off the last few years as a massive jolly. If she goes back and finishes at least she can say something like "I was immature and silly - I didn't focus, got a massive wake up call, knuckled down and sorted it" which can be quite a reassuring thing to hear from an interview candidate because at least it shows some analytical thinking. She might be able to transfer her course elsewhere but I'm not sure - depends on the examining body and if the course is the same to me (and I have no real knowledge or skills in this are) going back to Luton is probably her only option. Perhaps the Moonman is the best person to advise on this subject? If your folks are funding her there is stuff they can do to curb her lifestyle if thats an issue eg. order her groceries online for her and have them delivered rather than giving her cash.....limit her to a few quids pocket money so she can go out but not on massive benders. Either that or sell her to a pimp in Luton on the proviso that she has to fit her uni work around her other er...."duties" whatever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted July 2, 2013 Author VT Supporter Share Posted July 2, 2013 Cheers for the advice so far. Folks aren't funding her, apart from the odd plea of poverty. But largely she pays for herself via student loans. She has to finish, I know that myself even if my folks aren't seeing it at the moment. Better to to sink another few grand in and finish than write off what she's already racked up. I'm going to get her to speak to someone at Luton who can help explain her options. My fear is if she goes back down there she'll just **** around for another year and fail again. I'd rather she was at home so my folks could keep an eye on her, she could carry on with the part time job she has when she's around to help pay for things, and she wouldn't be able to skive off uni because my folks would be able to tell , because she'd be at home. If Luton's the only option then she'll have to go for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eames Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 Tbh Stevo she has to be responsible for her own shit at her age. She should go back to Luton and finish off there. I understand you want to do the big brother thing and have her looked after but this is her life and ultimately her **** up. She's going to be paying for it whatever happens so she needs to just pull her finger out and sort it because a job with a graduate degree is going to make the repayment process a whole load easier than filling those shelves in Tescos. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted July 2, 2013 Author VT Supporter Share Posted July 2, 2013 Yep, well aware of that. And I've already had that talk with her. But as well as it being her responsibility, it's my (and my parents' responsibility) to help her or guide her in the right direction to doing what's best. If keeping her in the Midlands and finishing her degree here gives her a better chance of success than sending her back to Luton then I think I should be at least suggesting it (which is all I'll be doing) It's all well and good to say leave her to it and she should sort it on her own. But if I see that option heading to another wasted year I'm not going to sit around and let her **** it up again. I see it as partly my responsibility to try and stop that happening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCforever1991 Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 I just had to lend my sister £300 to pay her university rent, why are women so bad with money? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coda Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 I just had to lend my sister £300 to pay her university rent, why are women so bad with money? Did you get a receipt for this "rent"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legov Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 I just had to lend my sister £300 to pay her university rent, why are women so bad with money? Oooh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eames Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 In both Stevo and AVFC1991's situation my gut instinct is your shit, your problem. Its NMFP. Does that make me a bad person? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCforever1991 Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 Yeah I got the money back from my Dad, so it's really him paying.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coda Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 Yeah I got the money back from my Dad, so it's really him paying.. I thought rent was paid at the beginning of term? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legov Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 In both Stevo and AVFC1991's situation my gut instinct is your shit, your problem. Its NMFP. Does that make me a bad person? No. Eventually people do have to start taking responsibility for their actions. The question is of course the age at which we make the cutoff. It doesn't make you heartless, because (imo) the concept behind your view is sound. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 In both Stevo and AVFC1991's situation my gut instinct is your shit, your problem. Its NMFP. Does that make me a bad person? Depends. I'd do anything for my family...but not if they were dicks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted July 2, 2013 Author VT Supporter Share Posted July 2, 2013 (edited) In both Stevo and AVFC1991's situation my gut instinct is your shit, your problem. Its NMFP. Does that make me a bad person? Not necessarily. But in a way I think washing your hands of the situation and just saying it's your life, **** it up a bit if you like, I can't be arsed to help is a massive cop out. Yeah it's her responsibility. But if she's struggling with that responsibility, even if it is through her own f*cktardery, I don't see the solution of "**** it, it's her problem" as a valid one. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying she should be spoon fed everything. If someone was in a similar situation and was suggesting bailing her out financially or doing work for her or any of that shit then I'd say the same. Let her sort it out. But all I want to do is nudge her in the right direction. I don't want her to throw away the past 4 years of "work" and debt by not finishing. Neither do I want her to waste more money by going back to Luton if the result is going to be the same. I'm aiming to help, not do it for her. Edited July 2, 2013 by Stevo985 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coda Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 She's going to be paying for it whatever happens so she needs to just pull her finger out and sort it because a job with a graduate degree is going to make the repayment process a whole load easier than filling those shelves in Tescos. It's obviously worth finishing the degree but there are thousands of graduates stacking shelves. I'm not sure how useful Criminology is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legov Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 Stevo to be fair it does sound like you're thinking of forcing her, somehow, into doing what you think is right for her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 Have you considered that she may not have the intelligence to complete/pass the degree? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted July 2, 2013 Author VT Supporter Share Posted July 2, 2013 Stevo to be fair it does sound like you're thinking of forcing her, somehow, into doing what you think is right for her. How on Earth have you got that idea? All I was after was some options that I could show to her. At the moment she sees two options, back to Luton against the folks wishes (although I think I could talk them round) or forget it and have wasted the past 4 years. I was looking for some other options, like transferring as mentioned in the OP. I'm not forcing her to do anything. If anything, I'm forcing my parents to let her do what she wants. The problem is I don't think she knows what she wants yet. Have you considered that she may not have the intelligence to complete/pass the degree? She doesn't lack intelligence. Not by a long shot. She's **** lazy is her problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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