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Ten things to do instead of thinking about Sunday.


JohnCresswell
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It can be a tough week this.

Somehow we've all got to get through five days of work and home life when all we really want to do is think about Sundays game. It won't be easy, but we can get through it together, here are some hints and tips to help you along.

Out By Easter writes....

1. Throw yourself into your work

Well, why not? You’re going to have a fair amount of nervous energy this week, why not spend it impressing the boss rather than sweating over whether Berger or Maloney is the better option from the bench or which is the best way of controlling McFadden.

By the end of the week you could be your company’s shining light, and that can only come in helpful on Monday morning when you call in sick after a heavy night of celebration.

2. Treat the lady

What better way to deal with the imminent threat of your arch enemy than by spending some quality time with the Missus? Why not take her out, buy her flowers and bring a little bit of romance back into your life? It’ll stop you spending the best part of the week worrying about whether Petrov or Reo-Coker is most suitable for marking Zarate out of the game,

It’s worth remembering that if you spend a little time and effort now, she’ll be there for you on Monday if the unthinkable happens with a shoulder to cry on. More importantly she’s less likely to come at you with a rolling pin at 3am on Sunday night when you roll in after a heavy night of celebration.

3. Drink

If, like me, you find the pressure of the big match build up all too much, why not lose yourself in a good healthy drink. Guinness is best, but you can choose your own friend on the journey to a stress free week.

It’ll also help to build up your tolerances for Sunday and a heavy night of celebration.

4. Watch the reserves

If you’re in the West Ends famous London this Tuesday, why not catch the reserves against Fulham (19:00 Motspur Park) a win there will give us the league title, and what better way to free your mind from the pressures of the big game than by watching Barry Bannan and co lifting a big trophy.

Surely that would be ample excuse for a practise heavy night of celebration?

5. Re-live the last couple of derby’s

It should make it worse I know, but there’s something very reassuring about watching Gabby’s last minute winner at the sty or Gary Cahill’s marvellous volley. In all honesty, I think this is best mixed with no. 3, as the sight of these goals tends to bring on a much-needed heavy night of celebration.

6. Exercise

Why not put yourself through a rigourous routine of torture this week, the screaming of your muscles will help drown out the imaginary commentary on Carew’s hat trick that’s going through your head at bedtime and keeping you awake.

After all, the derby game can be a physical challenge, what with the constant standing up and sitting down, the lung power required for our various encouragements and the effect that laughing at Garry O’Connors hair has on your lateral obliques.

You’ll need to make sure you’re in tip top condition for a night of heavy celebration.

7. Achieve a true mental focus

Just as important as being physically ready is being mentally ready. I wouldn’t recommend that you go out and buy one of the myriad of motivational books on the market place, after all we’re not competing with mental giants. I’d recommend that you seek inner fortitude through a fine stout, preferably Irish in origin.

You’ll need all of that mental focus when dealing with the 3am situation detailed in no. 2, or the Monday morning situation mentioned in no. 1.

8. Engage with the opposition

There’s nothing that brings quite such peace of mind in the approach to the big derby game than mixing with the unwashed and discovering what a disorganised shambles they really are. It’s a tricky one of course because you’ll have to put up with their “banter” for a couple of days, but so long as you keep them supplied with peanuts and bananas they’re really quite harmless.

It’s worth it at the end of the week because they are stupid enough to answer the phone when you call them to go over their shortfalls during your night of heavy celebration.

9. Have a wee flutter

Why not have a few of your hard earned pennies on Villa to triumph 3-0?

Working out the odds on these ridiculously complicated internet betting sites should keep your mind off Karen Brady’s cell for a couple of hours and you’ll get 15-2 on that at the moment which means a fiver should see you a long way towards a heavy night of celebration.

10. Write something for the front page

There are those that feel the best way to avoid spending the whole week obsessing about the team from across the city is to write odd pieces of advice for Villa fans on websites.

I can tell you that it doesn’t work.

Come on you Villa boys!

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well I've got to go into hospital for a minor op on Thursday, so thats my focal point for the week. I only hope i'll be able to drive (i'm having a cyst removed from a rather delicate place) the three hours to VP. Ahh **** it I'll crawl if i have to

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I've been going for number 8. I'm telling all the noses I know that I think they will win, but there is method in my madness. You see I'm raising their pityfull hopes and then when we smash them the pain will be even greater. Plus if it does go all wrong it reduces the amount they can gloat as I told them it would happen. You see! Genius.

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8 is so much fun the consequences of failure are too bad to even think about! I had to give a big presentation to my directors and management this morning and there were all noses and manure fans. Every second slide was a picture of the villa including gabby after his goal and Agent Ridgwell had his own slide making a vital point in my presentation "If you are going to do it, do it right!" and the pic was him after scoring the own goal. I had Cahills goal lined up for a finally but the vid would not play! :evil:

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I've been going for number 8. I'm telling all the noses I know that I think they will win, but there is method in my madness. You see I'm raising their pityfull hopes and then when we smash them the pain will be even greater. Plus if it does go all wrong it reduces the amount they can gloat as I told them it would happen. You see! Genius.

full proof!

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My nerves will be ok UNTIL kick off. I'll keep myself busy at work :D

I remember the last game... I was getting bad chills and I was so fooking anxious! Everytime the ball was under their feet my heart was at full pace.

I think most of us was close to a heart attack when Laursen bought down on of their strikers in the area - it was NEVER a penalty anyway ;) lol

this is a massive game for both clubs!

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I've been going for number 8. I'm telling all the noses I know that I think they will win, but there is method in my madness. You see I'm raising their pityfull hopes and then when we smash them the pain will be even greater. Plus if it does go all wrong it reduces the amount they can gloat as I told them it would happen. You see! Genius.

full proof!

full proof? :?

is that like 100% proof? Total Proof? JamPacked Proof?

Only a Fool and his Proof could be parted, it seems. :)

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After the event (if we win) - there is nothing like having been there and seen us do it (especially at the Sty earlier this season) but during this week with all the build up and angst that we might lose, I think, on the whole, I'd rather do without this Derby game - yes, I'd much rather prefer it if they were at least one (and preferably several) divisions down from us - even allowing for the feeling if we do win!

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