Kalim_a Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 i just searched for it and no it has not been posted before... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starfromafar Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 Oh, My God. 25 pages, 361 posts, You searched em all???? :roll: :roll: :roll: You sad bastard! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starfromafar Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 A construction worker comes home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. So he grabs the guy and drags him naked down the stairs to the garage. He grabs the guy's cock, puts it in a vise, screws it down real tight and removes the handle of the vise. Then he rummages around in a drawer until he finds a hacksaw, which he picks up and displays to the terrified man. The man, wide-eyed, screams, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to cut off my dick, are you?" The husband hands him the hacksaw and says: "Nope. You are. I'm setting the garage on fire." Worst joke I've ever heard... :roll: :cry: Are you gay kalim? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willybillyvillakiller Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 ^^^ here here, the quality of your jokes is very poor, very poor indeed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starfromafar Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 the above joke is atrocious. And your's are brilliant aren't they kalim! Strange person that Kalim.. :roll: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnCresswell Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 That's it. These two idiots are banned. This is not a children's playground and I'm not prepared to let this go on anymore. Kalim, Tell your 'friends' to waste other people's time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 i just searched for it and no it has not been posted before... Must've read it on another board I post on, my apologies Kalim. I'm signed up with so many boards, I often confuse things. Anyway, back to the jokes... Here's a list of children's book titles which for some reason or another that didn't make it to your local book shop. 1. You Are Different and That's Bad 2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables 3. Dad's New Wife Robert 4. Fun Four-letter Words to Know and Share 5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do Book 6. The Kid's Guide to Hitchhiking 7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mummy Stopped Loving Her 8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence 9. All Cats go to Hell 10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched 11. Some Kittens Can Fly 12. That's it, I'm Putting You up for Adoption 13. Grandpa Gets a Casket 14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator 15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia 16. The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy 17. Strangers Have the Best Candy 18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way 19. You Were an Accident 20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will 21. Pop! Goes the Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games 22. The Man in the Moon is Actually Satan 23. Your Nightmares Are Real 24. Where Would You Like to be Buried? 25. Eggs, Toilet Paper and Your School 26. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical Outlet be Friends? 27. Places Where Mummy and Daddy Hide Neat Things 28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry Taken from ShaneMcDonald.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalim_a Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 That's it. These two idiots are banned. This is not a children's playground and I'm not prepared to let this go on anymore. Kalim, Tell your 'friends' to waste other people's time. With respect john, I dont know these goons and certainly not my friends. No friend of mine visits this board, and most are not football fans!!! My guess is some tw@ts from soccernet's board...one in particlar called payne a feckin bluenose word removed. I used the same name on that board and left it coz of idiots like him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gregavfc Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 cmon lets keep this to jokes. what's the difference between the french and toast?? you can make soldiers out of toast Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattavfc Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 ^^Gettin better again greg! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattavfc Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 A man meets a friend and sees that his friends car is a total write-off and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. "What's happened to your car?" "Well," the friend replies, "I ran over Robbie Savage." "OK" says the first man, "That explains the blood, but what about the branches, dirt, leaves and grass?" "Well," said the second guy, "He tried to escape through the park!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattavfc Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 One day, little Tommy wanders into the local brothel, dragging a dead frog on a piece of string. Thud,thud, thud etc! He goes up to the woman at the desk and says, "Please miss, I'd like a girl please." The woman said "Go home sonny, you're far too young." Tommy then puts his hand into his pocket and pulls out a £50 note. The woman looked at him and said "Up the stairs, 3rd door on the right." So off he went, still dragging his frog behind him. Thud, thud etc. but he then turned around and said, "I forgot to ask, the girl must have active herpes!" "No way!" the woman shouts, "All our girls are clean." Once again Tommy reaches into his pocket and pulls out another £50 note. "4th door on the right," she said. Half an hour later, little Tommy comes back down stairs still with the frog dragging behind him, Thud , thud, thud etc. He's about to leave, when the woman says, "I can understand curiosity at your age but why did you want a girl with herpes?" "Well," says Tommy, "When I get home, the babysitter will be there. I'll screw her before she goes home and she'll get the herpes. Later on, dad will take her home and have her in the back of the car and he'll get herpes. Later, he will come home and jump on mummy and she'll get herpes too. In the morning, daddy will go to work, the milkman will come and get into bed with mummy and he'll get herpes and HE'S THE B*STARD WHO RAN OVER MY FROG!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gregavfc Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 lmao!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 They were both hillarious Matt, keep 'em coming! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalim_a Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 2nd one was class matt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattavfc Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 :wink: Glad you all like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattavfc Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 Two guys are sitting in the club house having a beer after a round of golf.The door opens and a man walks in wearing a tweed jacket, tweed trousers & brown leather riding boots. "Who's that?" asks the first guy. His friend replies, "He's a country member." The first guy says,"Don't worry, I'll remember!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gregavfc Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 lmao!!! took me a while to get it though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattavfc Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 A blonde takes her broked down for repair at the garage, the mechanic fixes it in two minutes, he tells her "Just shit in the air filter", she says, "How often do i have to do that?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattavfc Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 Got a feeling Greg will like this one :wink: A koala bear and a hooker go back to her place and they get undressed. The koala bear goes down on the hooker for 3 hours straight. She has multiple orgasms! After 3 hours he stops, ***s all over her tummy, gets up and puts on his little koala clothes. The woman is hanging back huffing and puffing from exhaustion. "Oh God, that was great! Now I need my money." The koala bear just looks at her and shrugs. Then the hooker says, "No, I need my money. I'm a hooker and this is how I make a living." The koala bear just looks at her and continues to put on his clothes. Then the hooker gets up and runs to the bookshelf, grabs a dictionary and thumbs through it to "hooker." She hands it to the koala bear and it reads: >"HOOKER: person who has sex for money." > >Then the koala bear turns the page to koala bear and walks out the >door. >The hooker reads: > >"KOALA BEAR: Eats bush, shoots, and leaves Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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