Ikantcpell

I like them both alot but i think ill have to go with AC/DC..had some really wild partys to thier music..Whole Lotta rosie is my favorite.

Hmm...I hope they both lose but i guess that ain't possible..But i think i dislike Man U alittle bit more than chelsea..So Chelski for me.

I didn't know Peter whittingham played for Cardiff..cmon cardiff!

Cardiff for me..don't want that smug face appy harry to win anything!

Kate Ryan - Ella Ella

Bristol City..i just like the name

Barack Obama finds himself standing at the Pearly Gates. Angel: STOP!! You may not enter until you name one good deed you have done on earth. Obama: Well....I was the first black president of the United States of America. Angel: REALLY!?!?! When did this happen? Obama: About 12 seconds ago

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the pastor and hissed, "I thought we had a deal." The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."

A young man sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquires. "I want six shots of Jagermeister," responds the young man. "Six shots?!" the bartender asks, "Are you celebrating something?" "Yeah, my first blowjob," the young man replies. "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house," the bartender says. "No offense, sir," the young man says, "but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will

Kenny Rogers - Lady

I like girls with dark blonde hair..but red heads are the wild ones..

Roxette - How do you do

What's the difference between Batman and a Scouser? Batman can go anywhere without Robin

Why does Rafa keep rotating his squad? To keep the robbers guessing who'll be at home on matchdays!

Red Bull with baccardi razz is very tasty IMO

A Jewish student was doing well in school in all subjects except for math. So his parents decided to send him to a private Catholic school. While there, the boy came home from school and studied every day. At the end of the marking period, the boy got straight A's. So his parents asked him, "What motivated you to do so well in school?" He replied, "When I saw that guy nailed to a plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around

A young couple wanted to join the church, the pastor told them, 'We have a special requirement for new member couples. You must abstain from sex for one whole month.' The couple agreed, but after two-and-a-half weeks returned to the Church. When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying and the husband was obviously very depressed. 'You are back so soon... Is there a problem?' the pastor inquired. 'We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month.' The young man replied sadly. The pastor asked him what happened. 'Well, the first week was difficult... However, we managed to abstain through sheer willpower. The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain. However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, Prayers, reading from the Bible...anything to keep our minds off Carnal Thoughts. Until one afternoon my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I just had my way with her right then and there. It was lustful, loud, passionate sex. It lasted for over an hour and when we were done we were both drenched in sweat,' admitted the man, shamefacedly. The pastor lowered his head and said sternly, 'You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church.' 'We know.' said the young man, hanging his head, 'We're not welcome at Homebase either

Ozzy Osbourne - Crazy train

Alphabeat - Fascination

Fulham and reading..i hope Sha stay up..would be a shame not to have the derby games to look forward to next season IMO

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists, two men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside of this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair, Kill Her!!!" The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job." The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes, Take your wife and go home." Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "The darn gun was loaded with blanks! I had to beat him to death with the chair."

A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated." "And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?" The businessman thought about it a moment and said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service and write on the envelope, ‘Now you have everything

A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink and sat on stools watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump. Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." But the blonde insisted saying, "No. A bet's a bet." Then the redhead said, "Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money." The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again

A young couple on the brink of divorce visits a marriage counselor. The counselor asks the wife what the problem is. She responds, "My husband suffers from premature ejaculation." The counselor turns to her husband and inquires, "Is that true?" The husband replies, "Well not exactly; it's her who suffers, not me

Bruce Springsteen - The River