Ikantcpell

I would rather want Villa in the CL then sweden to win the WC..Aston Villa is the only team in the world that i care about...Sure ive always supported Malmö FF ( my local) and Napoli aswell..But never in the same passion as i do with Villa.

Armand van helden - I want your soul

Rooney all the way..I think he is a fantastic player

Damaged--Plumb

A Welshman, a sheep, and a dog were survivors of a terrible shipwreck. They found themselves stranded on a desert island. After being there a while, they got into the habit of going to the beach every evening to watch the sun go down. One particular evening, the sky was red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle; a perfect night for romance. As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the Welshman. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the dog got jealous, growling fiercely until the Welshman took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling. A few weeks passed by, and lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the Welshman had ever seen. She was in a pretty bad way when they rescued her, and they slowly nursed her back to health. When the young maiden was well enough, they introduced her to their evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening: red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze; perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the Welshman started to get "those feelings" again. He fought them as long as he could, but he finally gave in and leaned over to the young woman, cautiously, and whispered in her ear... "could you take the dog for a walk?"

A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed. Awakening from the anaesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor. "I thought I asked you not to t ell anyone about my operation!" The surgeon told her he had carried out her ;wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him, "I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself." "The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had the same procedure done some time ago." "And what about the third rose ?" she asked. That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears."

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth. In the middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question - and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper. He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to the hospital. As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date. After being informed of the problem, their Daughter's' date said he could get the peanut out. The young man told the father to sit down, then proceeded to shove two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard. When the father blew, the peanut flew out of his ear. The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was nothing. Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said, "That's so wonderful! Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when he grows older?" The father replied, "From the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law."

A young Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked, "Do you have any sales experience?" The young man answered, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home." The manager liked the Aussie so he gave him the job. His first day on the job was challenging and busy, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked "OK, so how many sales did you make today?" The Aussie said "One." The manager groaned and continued "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?" "£101 237.64" The Aussie replied. The manager choked and exclaimed £101 237.64? What the hell did you sell him?" "Well, first I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and then, I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he would need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin-engined Power Cat. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to car sales and I sold him the 4 x 4 Suzuki". The manager, incredulous, said "You mean to tell me....a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and 4x4?". "No no no......he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said........."Well, since your weekend's f*cked, you might as well go fishing!""

This made me lol

What's the diffrence between your wife and your job ? After 10 years the job still sucks

Bruce Springsteen - Sad eyes

The manager of Liverpool F.C.sends scouts around the world looking for a new striker to help them win the title. One of his scouts informs him of a young Iraqi who he thinks will be a new superstar so the manager goes to Iraq signs him and brings him to Anfield. Two weeks later Liverpool are 4 – 0 down at home to Man.Utd.with twenty minutes to play,so the manager gives the nod to the young Iraqi to go on. The lad is a sensation scoring five goals and wins the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted the players and the coaches are delighted and the media love the new star. When he comes off the pitch he phones his mum. Hi mum guess what ? he says ,I played for twenty minutes today scored five goals and we won.Everybody loves me the fans,the players and the media. Great says his mum,now let me tell you about my day. Your father was shot,your sister and me were raped and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters while you were having a great time. The young lad is upset. What can I say mum,Im really sorry Sorry says his mum so you should be its your f**king fault we moved to Liverpool in the first place

Let's hope it is..Defoe is Class!