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The complete and utter chants thread


Pricey_1984

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ha for jamie redknapp on sunday if he's there we could just nick the barmy army i'm a w@nka chant

could just change the lyrics too

i'm a w@nka. i'm a w@nka, I'm a w@nka yes i am

but i'd rather be a w@nka than have harry as my dad

or for harry

i'm a w@nka. i'm a w@nka, I'm a w@nka yes i am

but i'd rather be a w@nka than be the elephant man

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Who's the rock of our back four, Cuellar Cuellar

The opposition score no more, Cuellar Cuellar

He's 6ft3 with Curly hair, he'll put you in a wheelchairrr

Carlos Cuellar the villa centre half

na na na na na nana na cuellar cuellar

na na na na na nana na cuellar cuellar

na na na na na na na naa na na na na na na na na na naa

carlos cuellar the villa center half

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how about instead of singing the crappy cuellar song which no one knows the lyrics too we try one about liverpool (for the away match)

we stole this song from liverpool, scousers scousers

they've got no jobs their on the dole, scousers scousers

they stole my wallet, they stole my phone, they even tried to rob my home

thieving bastards liverpools full of crime

nanana... you know the rest

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how about instead of singing the crappy cuellar song which no one knows the lyrics too we try one about liverpool (for the away match)

we stole this song from liverpool, scousers scousers

they've got no jobs their on the dole, scousers scousers

they stole my wallet, they stole my phone, they even tried to rob my home

thieving bastards liverpools full of crime

nanana... you know the rest

love it but cant see it being sung

if you start it at liverpool ill join you

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1) We stole the song from Rangers

2) United have been singing a John O'Shea song to that tune since he scored the winner at Anfield about 4 years ago.

3) We used to have a hooligan song in the 70's to the same tune.

It is NOT Liverpools song.

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I really hate how people call it the 'Liverpool song' or 'Torres song'. **** hell, Rangers fans sung it about Cuellar the same time as Liverpool fans did about Torres anyways! Don't know about the O'Shea one though.

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To the tune of 'Let It Snow' by crooner Dean Martin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18vsYFF0rTE&feature=related

Oooooh his hairstyles simply frightful

But his skills are quite delightful

and Thats why we love him so

DelFonzo DelFonzo DelFonzo

ha like it mate funnily enough I came up with a similar chant a while back but the first line was

he wears a leather coat and rides a motorcycle

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To the tune of 'Let It Snow' by crooner Dean Martin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18vsYFF0rTE&feature=related

Oooooh his hairstyles simply frightful

But his skills are quite delightful

and Thats why we love him so

DelFonzo DelFonzo DelFonzo

ha like it mate funnily enough I came up with a similar chant a while back but the first line was

he wears a leather coat and rides a motorcycle

Oh right, we'll have to share the royalties. Great minds and all that!

Not entirely sure about the opening line. Could probably do with some work. Hate to say it but I think Liverpool sing a similar song about Xabi Alonso. No reason why we cant use the same tune for the Fonze though because it fits a treat.

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To the tune of 'Let It Snow' by crooner Dean Martin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18vsYFF0rTE&feature=related

Oooooh his hairstyles simply frightful

But his skills are quite delightful

and Thats why we love him so

DelFonzo DelFonzo DelFonzo

ha like it mate funnily enough I came up with a similar chant a while back but the first line was

he wears a leather coat and rides a motorcycle

Oh right, we'll have to share the royalties. Great minds and all that!

Not entirely sure about the opening line. Could probably do with some work. Hate to say it but I think Liverpool sing a similar song about Xabi Alonso. No reason why we cant use the same tune for the Fonze though because it fits a treat.

yeah i think ive heard it sung before somewhere but i'm not really sure for which player that would make sense though alonso does fit, but yeah lets get it started it just fits perfectly

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For Harry Redknapp ...........

Are you Bagpuss in disguise...........

and to the Cuellar Cuellar tune -

You'll always be a word removed to us, Harry! Harry!

You'll always be a word removed t us, Harry! Harry!

Let the whole world hear this song

Harry Redknapp likes a bung

Harry Redknapp, footballs crooked man.

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how about instead of singing the crappy cuellar song which no one knows the lyrics too we try one about liverpool (for the away match)

we stole this song from liverpool, scousers scousers

they've got no jobs their on the dole, scousers scousers

they stole my wallet, they stole my phone, they even tried to rob my home

thieving bastards liverpools full of crime

nanana... you know the rest

Not the best attempt mate. Here's what you should be singing on Sunday.

The Bitter Manc Presents: Scousebusting - Top 10 Chants about the Scousers

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

10.

Tune: The Candy Man

Who can rob your houses?

(Who can rob your houses?)

Violate your gran?

(Violate your gran?)

Sell Cocaine from an Ice Cream Van?

A scouse word removed can!

Oh yes, a scouse word removed can.

Note: The bits in brackets are done on an echo, see the original track for more.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

9.

Tune: O My Darling Clementine

Build a bonfire,

Build a bonfire,

Put the Scousers on the top,

Put City in the middle,

And we'll burn the f**king lot.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

8.

Tune: This is how it feels - Inspiral Carpets

This is how it feels to be scousers,

This is how it feels to be sad,

This is how it feels when your sister's s**ging your dad.

This is how it feels to be dirty,

This is how it feels to be scouse,

This is how it feels when your fans keep robbing your house.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

7.

Tune: Que Sera Sera

Steeeeeeeeeeeve Gerrard, Gerrard,

He kisses the badge on his chest,

Then puts in a transfer request,

Steve Gerrard, Gerrard!

Steeeeeeeeeeeeeve Gerrard, Gerrard,

Runs over the kids in his car,

Assaults the DJ at the bar,

Steve Gerrard, Gerrard.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

6.

Tune: Daydream Believer - The Monkees

Cheer up Rafa Benitez,

Oh what can it mean,

To a... Fat Spanish Waiter,

And a .... s**e football teeeeeeam!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

5.

Tune: 3 Lions - Baddiel, Skinner and Lightning Seeds

He's Cracking Up,

He's Cracking Up,

He's Crackin' -

Rafa's Cracking up!

(repeat until bored)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

4.

Tune: The Torres Song

He's half a girl and he's half a boy, Torrés, Torrés.

He looks just like a transvestite, Torres, Torres.

He wears a frock, he loves the c**k -

He sells his arse down Albert Dock.

Fer-nan-dooooo Torres, he's Carragher's bit on the side!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3.

Tune: You are my sunshine

You are a Scouser,

An ugly scouser,

Your only happy,

On Giro day.

Your mums out thieving,

Your dads drug-dealing.

So please don't take my hubcaps away!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2.

Tune: In my Liverpool Home (Traditional)

In your Liverpool slums.

In your Liverpool slums.

You search through the dustbins for something to eat,

You find a dead rat and you call it a treat

In your Liverpool slums.

In your Liverpool slums.

In your Liverpool slums.

Your mums on the game, and your dads in the nick,

You cant get a job 'cos your too f**king thick,

In your Liverpool slums.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1.

Tune: My Old Man's A Dustbin

They haven't won the title, for eighteen f**king years.

So they signed a Spanish rocket polisher, who looks like Britney Spears.

They planned the trip to Moscow, they ordered him a Visa -

But then that goal was scored ... by Johnny Arne Riiiiiiiiiiiiise!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- :D:D

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'Cheer up Stevie G

We've still got Barry

You've got, Rafa Benitez

And no, Premier League trophy'

:lol::lol:

I like that.

You have to sing some of the ones on my top 10 though, particularly number 1. :D

Altogether now ....

They haven't won the title, for eighteen f**king years...

:winkold:

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[to the Tune of Tom Hark]

My mate asked me have you heard his name?

He's built just like a might freight train,

he plays for villa and he's quite big too,

he's bigger than me and he's bigger than you

I say to him I can't believe it's true,

he says haven't you heard.. of JOHN CAREW

John Carew, John Carew...

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